Freedom of speech, sure...but WikiLeaks still pisses me off to no end.

I've got a bad feeling about this. Maybe it won't be so bad...?

and because this week needed *more* awesome

Here's my short pity party for the day Week. That. Would. Just. Not. Stop. Sucking:

1. Saturday night: Excess drinking on the year anniversary of K's death? Check
2. Monday - now: Mom in the hospital with heart attack and (possible?) kidney problems? Check
3. Standby any day now: P heads out on deployment #2 (Cue the White Snake)? Check
4. Today: Car ticketed AND towed? Check and Check
5. Today: Credit card bill now $400+ higher (see #4, above)? Check

And for balance...the silver linings:
1. Getting to see my brother - albeit unexpectedly and not under the best of circumstances - back home? Check
2. Leg ugly BUT healing? Check and Check
3. Rangers going to the World Series? Check
4. Free plane ticket home? Check

well things are still chugging along

...heading home to see my family on Saturday. Mom's still in the hospital, but hoping she'll be released soon. I'm having a hard time getting any info on what exactly is going on because she is so drugged up and my dad is like - I don't know - being weird. Maybe it's his way of coping, but he's been going to work all day and just going to see Mom for a couple hours afterwards, so he misses all of the doctor's rounds and doesn't really know what's going on. ack. Hoping that when Sibling gets to town tonight he'll be able to get a little more info for us.

In other news...getting my first care package together to send next week to P. Thanks to Army Mom Strong for some great cold-weather care package item tips.

good thing I see the shrink tomorrow

...because this month is a doozy.

My mom was admitted to the hospital at some point today (thanks for not calling, Dad) with chest pains. She's a looong history of health problems - including heart attacks and blockages - so while I can't say I'm surprised, it still sucks. Waiting to see if I need to go home or what. No clue what's going on, they are still doing tests. I know we're not supposed to be given more than we can 'stand up under' - and then only by the grace of God - but really? This week? I just want to scream.

*insert acronym here*

FUBAR and/or SNAFU for this one.

Talked to P today, and for some reason, COC hasn't yet released their mailing addresses for care packages and such. Might not until they are downrange, either. Needless to say, everyone's disappointed with this (lack) of info. WTF...way to build morale, guys.

---
In other news...AZ's wedding was beautiful yesterday. My 5:50am alarm clock was really early, but worth it. Picked up breakfast for all the girls, and we got ready at AZ's house and had photos, champagne and lots of silliness. The 11am ceremony and reception were perfect, with a hint of bittersweet (her father passed away 5 months ago), but full of love and support from friends and family around the globe.

After all the weddingness was said and done, and when I was officially off-the-clock as maid of honor, I went out with a handful of friends, and *may* have been a little tipsy by the end of the night. And by may, I mean, I definitely had some celebratory drinks in memory of Katie. One drink in particular was bright blue and tasted like an otter pop - and K loved otter pops. It was a good night. I woke up just fine this morning, but it was a good way to let off some steam.

---
The plunge back into the world of a double-schedule (day work and night music rehearsals) will be icy this week. I'll eventually get back into the swing of things, but it's been nice having 6 weeks off from my so-called "double life". I get very complacent with my singing when I'm not actually in rehearsal for anything. This is why I know I would never make it in NYC, where so many opera-minded folks tend to flock. My drive to out-sing everyone is dwarfed by my drive to enjoy other parts of my life; to enjoy the project at hand; to nurture my relationships; and to not put my whole entire self on the line for something that though I love it - I am not driven towards or by it. And that is that.

One year. Love you. Miss you.

Katie Wise Friedman Memorial Video from Josh on Vimeo.

important

This is a great article. I highly recommend it.

I should, but I don't

I should care that one of the eminent leading sopranos of the pas two centuries has died. I mean, yes, RIP, Joan Sutherland: you were, and shall remain one of The Great Voices. But really? I don't care. I feel no sorrow, connection, or anything in regards to La Sutherland. And if I posted as such on my Facebook, you can bet that the backlash from a solid 50% of my FB friends would be crazy, seeing as so many of them have posted some very heartfelt words to their own pages. I mean, I can see the ripple through my music community. So. I won't say anything in that forum.
I am just kind of over celebrity deaths, I guess.

Yup. I am callous. At least I am today.

seriously? ouch

Imagine if you will a few miles of uninterrupted sidewalk stretching along side the SF Bay. Starting at Fisherman's Wharf and continuing all the way to AT&T park and beyond, the path is strewn with cafes, restaurants, pedi-cabs, tourists and locals exercising over their lunch breaks. There's a one-mile segment that I frequent over my own lunch breaks a couple times a week.

On part of my mile, there are obstacles. Or, as I like to think of them, giant concrete stair steps to walk over because it's good for my legs and backside! haha

Anyway, each "stair" is about two-feet high, three-feet across, and two-feet deep. I am tall and have long legs, so it's not a hard step up for me, but it's just enough. Sometimes I even add a little hop up, for kicks. And over the past six months or so, had you been frequenting that same mile with me, you would see a curly-haired girl bobbing up and over these blocks, making the most of her lunch hour during an otherwise sedentary day in an office cubicle. There's an art to hitting the blocks in stride: always ascend on the side closest to the Bay, since they are a *smidge* lower, due to a slant in the sidewalk, and always approach them straight on.

Cue to this past Thursday.

Having successfully navigated my self-made obstacle course to meet AZ for lunch at the Ferry Building, we ate and parted ways just prior to where the blocks re-start for my walk back to work.

AZ crossed the street, I turned, and breaking both of my rules, attempted to not only hop up on the wrong side of the cube, but I went at it from an angle, too.

Did I mention these are made of solid concrete?

I knew as soon as I attempted to get on the block that I was doomed. Bam, bam, bam! I was down. Left thigh, right shin and wrists breaking my fall on the hard-ass concrete. I was back up immediately, even before AZ made it across the street. I called her and was like "Look, I just fell and nobody even stopped!" She was baffled by my Grace, I'm sure. Or probably not. This is par for the course.

I hobbled the 10 minute walk back to the office. No bleeding, no audible snapping of limbs, so I was grateful. Back at work, I made a beeline for the bathroom to asses the damage to my legs. Not. Pretty.

Big hematoma bruise on my left thigh; big shallow bruises and scrapes on the right shin; sore wrists and injured pride. Ice and elevation in order.

Grace strikes again. *sigh*

trying

So. Here I turn to my faithful blog. I have started a handful of posts over the past month, but none of them ever actually made it to being published. However, that will probably change shortly, as I think I am...maybe...ready to come back to blogging here more or less regularly.

I had to step away, because I think that everytime I started to write something down, it was all really heavy, sad, depressing. On one hand, that's how I process life? emotions? On the other hand - I didn't want to turn into some horrible emo blog, for crying out loud.

There are lots of things on my mind. Lots of things over which I've been mulling, wondering and trying to figure out.

This is a difficult month spiked with wonderful dots of joy. In other words, a little bit of a roller-coaster!

Under the "dots of joy" category: AZ is gettin' hitched!! I am very honored and excited to be her maid-of-honor, and we are fast approaching the Big Day, and have had many wonderful showers and parties leading up to the wedding. I could not be more happy for her & N, truly, and cannot wait to celebrate with them in just a short time, now! Other Dots-of-Joy: spending Halloween weekend in Vegas with my parents. Oh yes. Mom and I will play the penny-slots until the wee-hours of the morning...it will be grand; and Fleet Week starts Thursday. I love Fleet Week!

Filed under "Difficult": fast approaching the one-year mark of Katie's death. THAT is entirely too hard a concept for me to understand and/or even process at the moment; difficult because P has an impending deployment, and, well, that is hard for me on many levels right now - but that's a topic for another posting.