open letter to the family behind me at the movie theater today

Dear Family:

A family outing - three generations bonding on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Sounds idyllic. Grandma, Grandpa, Dad and two kids - lovely.

Except for the fact that your brought two kids, approximately aged 7 and 3 to see...wait for it...Wolverine.

WOL-VER-I-WILL-KILL-YOU-WITH-MY-ADAMANTIUM-CLAWS-WHILST-ON-MY-BLOODLUST-REVENGE-MISSION-TO-HUNT-DOWN-MY-SOCIOPATHIC-MURDEROUS-BROTHER-INE.

Yes, I was annoyed when the boy "accidentally" kicked the back of my seat. Repeatedly. But after I turned around and nicely asked him to please stop kicking my seat, the look of shock on his face on being called out was priceless. And, with each subsequent kick, I did relish hearing you admonish him each time, Grandma. Thanks.

The seat-kicking, however, did not compare to your three-year-old girl asking "Wha happen? Wha happen? Wha happen?" every time something scary, violent or loud occurred on screen. In other words...constantly. (Did you *see* the previews for this movie?)

Sure, PG-13 means parental guidance suggested for kids under 13. You wanna talk semantics? Well, then I suggest you leave the under-double-digit crowd at home next time, or take them to an age-appropriate movie. Hell, I saw E.T. in the theaters when I was 3, and it scarred me for life. And it's not even scary.

Love,
MezzoSF