24 April 2008

Notes to self #814 - #819

  • Do not buy tights which appear to have already been opened. Even if they are the only pair in your size hanging on the rack (TALL!).

  • Make sure you have the correct size tights with you BEFORE arriving at the theater. If not, make sure you have an extra pair.

  • When standing in the bathroom cursing at the tights which will not come up much past your knees . . . make sure your director is not in one of the bathroom stalls. You might frighten her.

  • If you are lacking an extra pair of tights, make sure you have a pair of scissors. Or nail clippers. Use them to cut out the crotch of too-short tights so that you don’t have to walk like a duck all night long.

  • When not onstage, do not make the mistake of sitting down! Sitting down only causes the too-short tights to fall even more.

  • Make sure – of course – that this all happens during a performance, so that the onstage orchestra ALSO gets the pleasure of watching you in the wings as you wrestle with the crapulous tights underneath 20 pounds of skirt. There is just not a graceful way of doing this, especially whilst wearing a torso-bend-preventing corset.


Wyldth1ng said...

Do you have any footage on that?

Mezzo SF said...

HA...ha ha ha ha...no way. That footage is most definitely NOT on film anywhere.

Wyldth1ng said...

Too bad.

Bag Blog said...

Sounds like quite a performance.

I sent my hubby to buy pantyhose right before my sisters's wedding - giving him specific instructions to buy tall although I am short. He chose to listen to the saleslady rather than me and bought petite hose. I walked like a duck all evening. I feel your pain.