round and round and round she goes

trying to get a grip on things, folks. there are just those days/weeks/seasons where everything seems to converge into one big, hot, emotional wreck of a mess.

*good* times for all.

i mean, for the most part, i 'keep it together'. work is fine. home is fine. blah blah blah. but hear a certain song on the radio - hell, even read a seemingly 'random' clue in today's crossword puzzle - and here come the tears.

wtf, mate?

i feel sick to my stomach and i know it's not anything i've eaten - because i haven't eaten much. it's nerves, tension, stress, emotional upheaval, my brain and my body completely out of sync with my heart and soul. this is why the good Lord gave me a piano to play on and music in which i can cocoon myself.

the strangest thing about all of this is my seeming lack of panic attacks. now THAT is a huge praise - because that was the torture i was experiencing a year ago.


as my friend Jen said to me earlier - "don't you just want to blame the whole month on pms sometimes?"

indeed. ;)