I watched the funniest thing tonight.

Have you ever heard of Robot Chicken? WHY didn't I discover this sooner??? OMG. This show is so funny, it hurts!!!!

Thank you, Adult Swim!!

Scary movie

I love scary movies. I'm not sure why . . . I just like the suspense, the jumps, the twists and turns. I enjoy them, and usually am pretty good to sleep afterwards (except for E.T., which scares the shite out of me - but that's another story)

Many of my friends do not share my taste for the scary movie. Alan, however, does. We go to scary movies. Even the really bad ones, because in all of their hilarious awfulness, we can revel and laugh and even be startled, all in the name of fun.

One of the best ways to enjoy a scary movie, of course, is to go with a big, strong manly date who will let you hang on to his arm throughout the course of the film, and tell you when it's safe to look again. Alan, my flaming, dramatic, dear friend and I usually just end up clutching each others' arms in mutual fright. And crack each other up in the process.

Tonight we went to the late show of "The Fog." It was decent; MUCH better than "House of Wax" (although that's not really saying much). If you'd like some scary "fluff" movie, this is it. There are a few rough patches of "what just happened to the plot?"-ness, but it's pretty cohesive on the whole.

So. Good Haloween movie? Perhaps. But I would go see Saw II instead...

Fall is in the air

I can taste fall in the air. The crispness. The slight chill.

By my workplace, there are crunchy leaves, and I always go out of my way to step on them, much to the amusement of the valet standing in front of the restaurant next door...

I made pumpkin bread this evening for my bookclub, and it was very tasty. Even AZ commented that it was (and I quote) "your best yet". Coming from her - highly knowledgeable SF foody that she is - high praise indeed :)!

I am craving hot apple cider. And roasted chestnuts like one finds all over Paris around the holidays.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry . . ."

Did you know that the above is a line from the movie Love Story?

I just watched it. I netflixed it almost 2 months ago and just had not watched it yet. Of course you know the famous music theme, right?

It was a beautiful and tragic story. I cried and cried at the end. It was not unkin to my reaction during all of those *%?*!# Nicholas Sparks films. Alas. But I'm glad to have watched it.

Just add (holy) water

Our church is doing a church-wide Bible study (as seems to be the case twice a year or so) called "Better Together", and it encompasses 8 weeks of sermons, small group study and reading of the same titled book by Rick Warren. It is, I think, the second in a trilogy by the aforementioned uber-pastor from SoCal.

I must admit I went into this kind of a skeptic. I mean, Rick is cheesy. But, he also has some valid points. Anywho. I'm not here to blog about theology or doctrine or anything like that.

I have been going to my church in SF for about 3 years. For a good chunk of that time, I have been part of a small group Bible study, meeting on Monday nights. It started off as a group geared specifically for Graduate Students (which I was when I joined), and has now morphed into a Grad/Young Professionals under 30-type of group. There are a handful of us left from the first few months, but others have come and gone as people in SF are wont to do.

In this particular study, there is a big emphasis on getting people really involved in a small group - which is good. You build community, get connected to people and get to know one another better than just glancing over at the pew next to you and smiling at that girl who looks *vaguely* familiar (Is she new? Did we meet last week?) every Sunday.

But I digress...When our group met for the first time for the "Better Together" study, we found that we had practically tripled in number, and had about 40 people show up. That is NOT so small. Consequently, we broke down (randomly) into 3 small-er groups.

Now, before this branching, our group was pretty tight--we had all finally broken the mold and actually started becoming friends, confidantes, etc. All of these relationships were not built in a matter of weeks, but over the course of months, and in some cases, years.

The idea, however, that an 8-week study can create an "insta-bond" of deep community and fellowship is kind of absurd to me. I know - well - about one third of my new small group. Another third I would consider acquantainces, and the last are practically complete strangers.

We had some communication problems in our group this week. Probably - maybe? - due to the fact that we are trying to create this instantly intimate bond, without really being comfortable yet. People are sensitive, unsure, and hesitant about letting their guard down. Which, is NORMAL, I would like to point out, for a group of mostly strangers.

There is so much emphasis right now on "group togetherness" and a "group community project" - which (on paper) is an awesome idea. But we just seem to be having growing pains. I am one of two in charge of planning a social activity for our group. Bowling and pizza? You bet! The problem is scheduling (of course) and it feels a little like I'm planning "mandatory fun". Like, the only reason to go is because your mommy dropped you off at daycare and you have no choice.

I don't know.

It's only been three weeks. I've committed to stick it out, so we'll see what develops. I'm trying to keep an open mind, because I think it's important...but it's also difficult.

Did you ever notice

. . . that when you go to the movies, the shortest person in the group gets stuck sitting behind a really tall person? This almost happened to AZ last weekend. We were waiting for In Her Shoes to begin, wehn these a couple walked in at the last minute, and started down the row in front of us. AZ let out this little sound of "oh no....!" and the couple ended up just missing her by one seat.

Now, by this point, AZ has it made in the shade. Because unless a movie is sold out, people will avoid sitting next to a stranger at all costs. Hence, the lone single seat gets left. And the next couple will then sit in front of me.

Great.

Satisfaction

Is finally knowing the song well enough to sing along with the radio/cd/ipod with confidence.

And man that makes me feel cool, right?

Even though I'm really still a dork because I only know the chorus.

Remeber the Blues Traveler song "Hook"? Great song!

When I got that album in highschool, I played the song over and over and over until I learned the "fast part" in the middle. I remember spending hours laid out on the floor of my bedroom, listening to the song and reading the lyrics until I could sing the whole thing JUST like John Popper.

And to this day, I still can. Truly satisfying, indeed!

I am getting one of

these.

I am so excited.

Party Express

I just walked in the door. My feet are aching, my hair is a little chaotic (what's new?), I'm sweaty and still have plenty of adrenaline running through me. These are the classic post-salsa dancing symptoms.

Long story short, I went to a friend of a friend's birthday party tonight. We celebrated Erika's birthday with the help of the Party Express Bus. Basically you rent a bus to take you to 3 different clubs of your choosing in SF.

There were 15 of us on the bus, and our theme for the night was salsa. Erika is from Brazil, and had a mini-entourage of fellow brazilian girls in tow. Erika's husband is completely a compeletely gringo Mormon from Utah. But, they just seem to go together.

The rest of the crew was mixed; most didn't know how to salsa, but they were willing to try.

First stop: Roccapulco. I'm glad I finally got there. It's a nice large space with lots of tables to sit at. The bus just pulls up in front, the guide speaks to the bouncer, and we go straight in. No lines, no nothing. Beautiful. We started at 9:30, and at that hour, Roccapulco was pretty quiet, with only the DJ playing. Danced a few salsa's with on of the Brasilenha's husband, and we had a group merengue (everyone kinda got that rhythm down).
Just as the band was coming on, we had to be off to the next club.

Second: Club Caliente in SOMA. This place was packed, and we were definately an odd bunch to be going in, because
A. We were dressed for Cocomo (ie: no jeans) and everyone in here was more casual and
B. We had lots of tall blond girls (even though some were latin) who tended to stick out.
The DJ was playing Raeggaeton music when we came in, and we kind of danced in smallish circles. I eventually starting dancing with a guy for a while, until he put his face in my cleavage. Then, I was like..."I'm just here to dance, sorry" and told him he could go find someone else, no hard feelings. So, I go back to the group, and, suddenly, see a familiar face in the crowd (or, at least, a familiar looking shaved head). It was Adonai, a friend from salsa class. I couldn't believe it! We talked, and then the DJ started playing better music (merengue & salsa) so we danced until the party express had to take off.

Final stop: Cafe Cocomo. It's funny. This club was so intimidating to me in January of this year. Now, I walked in and it felt so familar---the music, the people, the decor, the vibe, was all welcoming me back. The band tonight was Pepe y su Orquesta Peru. Excellent! We got there around 11:45, managed to find an empty table in the corner, and went about the task of acquiring dance partners.

First up for me: Dago from Colombia. Really fun to dance with - but was trying to convince me that 'we had great energies together' and 'come dance with me 4 nights a week.' He gave me his number, and I promised not to throw it away.
Then we had Virgil, a stout, short mature man who was lots of fun. He had an interesting way of leading with his wrists...but he knew what he was doing and how to communicate, so it worked. We were being silly & danced for a while.
A had the opportunity to be one of two women (the other being "Carmen" aka Raquel) to dance with some guy at the same time. That was cool! How he did it (can't remember his name) I don't know, but it was neat.
The last dancer of the night was Marco. He was very much into the cuban style salsa, but led very well. He would do this crazy knee bends & hops --- seriously just like at the end of the movie Dance with Me. We took a photo together at the end of the night, and agreed to dance again next time we were both at Cocomo.
Finally, the clock sounded 2 am, the lights came up, and the strains of the Beach Boy's "Cocomo" begin to play. The night had come to an end. It was a great time.

Bon appetit

I went to Chapeau! for dinner tonight. It is this tiny little French bistro in the Richmond. And it was sooooooo delicious. And packed with patrons all night.

Menu:
Amuse-bouche: Melon and tea cold "soup" served in an espresso mug
Appetizer: Moules et frites
Entree: Cassoulet
Dessert: Tarte tatin
Coffee
Red wine

The chef came around and spoke with everyone. He was very nice.
In fact, after we left, and were half way down the block to the car, I hear this shouting behind me. I thought it was some crazy person, but then turned around and realized it was the chef. He was running after us, telling us to have a good evening, and asking if we enjoyed the food.
"Mais oui, c'etait superb, delicieux"...it was great to speak French. He gave us both kisses on the cheeks. And scooted back to the restaurant.

The perfect ending to a most pleasant dining experience.

The blue angels are in town!

They have two big shows in San Francisco this weekend.

They are practicing right now.

And they are flying back and forth right over our office.

I am like a two year old, barely able to sit still and get anything done, because I want to go see the airplanes fly by doing circles, spins and dives!

Seeing 20/20

I do not have good eyesight. But every now and then, God gives me 20/20 vision. He gives such clairty and understanding - albeit in hindsight painful at times - that I know He exists and listens and cares.

Today is a perfect example.

I've had an interesting week in regards to a certain man who shall remain nameless, but who has been a factor in my life for about a year. I will not bore you with all the minutiae, but I will say that he has been in and out of my life throughout 2005. When we ended things, they did not end with a bang . . . they just stopped. We lived on opposite coasts, and, well.....that ended that. And I knew that going into the relationship - I mean, I knew we would only be in the same city for a short while.
And yet, I decided to go for it.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

A major reprecussion of the "ending": lack of closure.
Everytime we saw each other this year, it felt (rekindled?) as if we were together again. Each gesture, speech pattern, habit, so familiar, comforting, wanted.

We spoke this last week - in person and via computer - of hypotheticals vs. reality and "what-if's" vs. "not likely's". We spoke of what it is to be happy, what it is to be committed (or not), what it is to be an artist, what it is to follow your heart, what it is to be one human interacting with another. We were approaching a closure of sorts. Actually talking about things that had been left unsaid.

I wrote a letter. Hid it in my drawer for a week. And then decided to let him read it. It was a good letter - no "I'm so unhappy without you letter," nor "I hate your guts...". It was a simple, truthful statement of feelings past, and present thoughts. I think I wrote out about 5 drafts of the thing! ha!

For me, the letter offered a closure. I am better able to express my thoughts in writing than I am in person. I get too nervous and tongue tied in person (especially around this particular person). I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but I still have a ways to go in this respect.

Closure. And yet this morning, en route to work, I could not stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. It sucks. But I can see that it is good.

How? God is looking out for me.

Example: I did not get cast in a part I really wanted. I am not a super diva, but I sang a damn good audition and I would have been perfect for it. But I didn't get cast, and was upset about this over the weekend. Last night, P told me that he got the part he wanted in this same show. If you have ever been in a theater production, you know how much time you spend with your castmates, and how that intensity fosters relationship(s). My heart could not have stood that.

Example: I went to Starbucks this morning, and my friend C was barista-ing. I had just gotten to work post tears-during-the-commute and she expressed some concern. I didn't have time to get into it right then. Fast forward to my lunch break. I'm walking to the deli, when I hear my name. I turn around, and there is C, smiling and telling me that she is buying me lunch. We sit and talk and pray and I am was so grateful for how much God blessed me today with C.

So. It is late and I am tired.

I don't regret my relationship with P. I will stick with Lord Tennyson on that one. I try to own my decisions, be they good or bad.

But, I am humbled that even when I am feeling frustrated, sad, worked-up, stubborn, emotionally tender, and weak, God sees all and grants vision to us. And He cares. And He loves.

The people at safeway are always so nice

When checking out at Safeway, the checkers never fail to look at the receipt and hand it to you saying "Thank you, Ms. Daniel" or "Thank you, Mr. Jones" etc etc.

And today was no exception.

I went to Safeway with our business card to buy some supplies for a goodbye party we're having at the office tomorrow. I swipe my personal safeway card - with my name on it (saved us $1.50!) - and then swiped our business visa.

I sign the credit card receipt.

The woman at the cash register hands me my copy and says "Thank you, Ms. Foundations".

You just can't make this stuff up, people. This is real life.