19 October 2005

Just add (holy) water

Our church is doing a church-wide Bible study (as seems to be the case twice a year or so) called "Better Together", and it encompasses 8 weeks of sermons, small group study and reading of the same titled book by Rick Warren. It is, I think, the second in a trilogy by the aforementioned uber-pastor from SoCal.

I must admit I went into this kind of a skeptic. I mean, Rick is cheesy. But, he also has some valid points. Anywho. I'm not here to blog about theology or doctrine or anything like that.

I have been going to my church in SF for about 3 years. For a good chunk of that time, I have been part of a small group Bible study, meeting on Monday nights. It started off as a group geared specifically for Graduate Students (which I was when I joined), and has now morphed into a Grad/Young Professionals under 30-type of group. There are a handful of us left from the first few months, but others have come and gone as people in SF are wont to do.

In this particular study, there is a big emphasis on getting people really involved in a small group - which is good. You build community, get connected to people and get to know one another better than just glancing over at the pew next to you and smiling at that girl who looks *vaguely* familiar (Is she new? Did we meet last week?) every Sunday.

But I digress...When our group met for the first time for the "Better Together" study, we found that we had practically tripled in number, and had about 40 people show up. That is NOT so small. Consequently, we broke down (randomly) into 3 small-er groups.

Now, before this branching, our group was pretty tight--we had all finally broken the mold and actually started becoming friends, confidantes, etc. All of these relationships were not built in a matter of weeks, but over the course of months, and in some cases, years.

The idea, however, that an 8-week study can create an "insta-bond" of deep community and fellowship is kind of absurd to me. I know - well - about one third of my new small group. Another third I would consider acquantainces, and the last are practically complete strangers.

We had some communication problems in our group this week. Probably - maybe? - due to the fact that we are trying to create this instantly intimate bond, without really being comfortable yet. People are sensitive, unsure, and hesitant about letting their guard down. Which, is NORMAL, I would like to point out, for a group of mostly strangers.

There is so much emphasis right now on "group togetherness" and a "group community project" - which (on paper) is an awesome idea. But we just seem to be having growing pains. I am one of two in charge of planning a social activity for our group. Bowling and pizza? You bet! The problem is scheduling (of course) and it feels a little like I'm planning "mandatory fun". Like, the only reason to go is because your mommy dropped you off at daycare and you have no choice.

I don't know.

It's only been three weeks. I've committed to stick it out, so we'll see what develops. I'm trying to keep an open mind, because I think it's important...but it's also difficult.

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