23 June 2005

Thoughts

What a crazy week. Crazy in a good way, mind you.

I have been keeping myself busy. And, really, when I stop to think about it - which, I don't really want to do, but I've just started doing - I have to ask myself why.

Why do I fill my days and nights so full that I fall into bed (too late) only to wake up still feeling exhausted? I tell myself that it is worth it; that I am enjoying my 20's in the fabulous city of SF. And, in truth, I am. I am having SO much fun.

On the other hand, I am neglecting some important things. My aparment is a currently a catastrophe. I spent a little time cleaning the main room today, but my room is a disaster. I am not being disciplined in this area. Also, I'm not staying on top of some phone calls, organizing, etc etc which I need to do.

Basically, I'm playing really hard right now (again, in a good way), and I work hard during the day, but I need more balance. I know too, that I've been neglecting my relationship with God---I just haven't been making that time a priority.

In short (or long, as it were) I often find myself confused and constantly pondering why why why am I doing this or not doing something else. And, instead of seeking answers or prayerfully submitting my questions to God, I just sit with them, or worse, force them out of my mind.

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More random thoughts, not related to the more serious ones above:
1. Jazz at Pearls is a kick-ass place. You must check it out!

2. I need a good (upright) bass player in the SF area. Anyone out there know anyone? I think I'm going to put together a recital for the all, with some spanish, portugese, and possibly French (read: cabaret) music, and some straight up jazz standards. I need some instrumentalists for all of this!!

3. I had a friend send me an email, asking if I would consider marrying him so he could get his green card. WHAT? ummm....no way, man. That would be too weird. He was dead serious, too! My first reaction to reading the email was hysterical laughter. Honestly, I couldn't believe what I just read.

4. I have had several good conversations with a coworker, A, this week. Praise God for that!!

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