Right now my life is a series of what-if's. And I'm learning to be okay with that, and not jump to any conclusions ahead of myself...something that is hard for me, but something I'm working on.
For the moment...2011 is still a year full of unknown possibility. What if I get to work in the mountains all summer? What if I don't? What if I land some singing gigs? What if I don't? What if this is the year I fall madly in love? What if it isn't? What if my mom outlives us all? What if she doesn't? What if I learn to tune out all the little what if's and enjoy the moments as they come? ...and what if I don't?
Many, many things to ponder and to which I look forward. And things yet unknown lingering just beyond the horizon.
Whatif - by Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pol?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow tall?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!