04 November 2009

Life vs. Art, part ...infinity

I am singing the below in public in 12 days. It's not easy to sing right now, but such is life. And art. And ... something about 'fake it till you make it' and 'the show must go on,' and hell, even method acting. Why not?
The past two weeks have been the absolute worst and hardest 14 days of my life-to-date. That is not to say that there have not been any roses among this thorn patch - there are several - but I feel as if the "He will not give you more than you can handle" promise from God has been liberally tested. This period has been more difficult than my mom's heart attack and more difficult than my father's heart valve surgery (don't get me started on *my* genetic pool)...and all I know is that I am still crying myself to sleep at night. And probably will continue to do so for a while.

But...the music plays on...maybe there is some catharsis in my near future (life) from this near future (art). God knows. Hopefully He'll let me in on it, too.

Sigh.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As their tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dream to shame.

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came.

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

1 comment:

Rona said...

* holding you *