05 February 2009


I feel like there are so many variables floating up in my life this year. Not bad variables, just unknown variables. Funny how life really *is* a "choose your own adventure" book, right?

I do have constants in this equation. And thank God for that (who is one of the constants to begin with...). Along with faith, I would count my amazing family and equally amazing friends among those constants.

But back to those mysterious unknown variables. I think what drives me crazy is:
1. Lack of knowledge/control
2. The "What-if's"
3. Fear of making the "wrong" decision (and yet - who decides what is right/wrong, not in a moral sense, but in a ... decision sense, I guess)

All of the above reasons, however, are in some kind of conflict with the feeling that as I get older, I am finally learning to let all of that GO and just get on with my life. Let go of the what-if's; let go of thinking what anyone "thinks" is right for me, and just make my own damn decisions. It's not as easy as you'd think. But I'm getting there. And trying to decide what it is exactly I want out of life - I only have this one chance! Better make it a good adventure . . .

1 comment:

Buck said...

...and just make my own damn decisions. It's not as easy as you'd think.

All TOO true. But recognizing the situation is the first step in overcoming it. I think you're on your way, Katy. Would that I could have arrived at this point at your age! It took me considerably longer...