The glove has been thrown . . .

. . . and I shall accept the challenge.

Pinafore has been getting - almost across the board - great reviews from bay area critics. This is wonderful for the whole company and hopefully shall extend to some full houses during our remaining performance weekends. (Let me know if you'd like to come see it!)

However, (and I know it's just my own pride), I can't help but feeling a little like the 'weak link' in some folks' eyes. I know there will always be good and bad reviews - and opinions are completely subjective, I shouldn't let them get to me, etc - but part of this one did, and has been eating at me a little bit.

[MezzoSF] sang Buttercup. In a production dedicated to the memory of two historic Buttercups, it can’t have been easy, but she did a good job. She sounds a bit like someone sticking to the score; I hope she will come to be more outrageous in the part. Buttercup, like many G&S mezzos, should be a scene-stealer.

The thing is, I tend to agree with her - at least about my first performance when the review was done. I have noticed that I do improve throughout the run of a show - there is a vast difference between my first and last show. Not that the first one is "bad", but it's like I'm not fully enveloped by the character - that I am "sticking to the score" as it were. I don't know why I am like this - maybe it's fear? Or I am just feeling inhibited? I know that with each performance, I dive deeper into the character. What I need to learn is how to dive in deep sooner.

I can't help but compare myself with my colleagues who have done this show a million times before. But of COURSE they have more layers in their characterizations - they're being reunited with an old friend. Whereas myself, I am meeting Buttercup for the first time. But even that does not suffice as an excuse, for I know that I am not the only lead doing this show for the first time. Which makes me wonder . . . what is it I'm afraid of? It's ACTING, for crying out loud! There are no consequences . . . I can pretty much do whatever I would like to do. Most people only dream of that, and here is my golden opportunity. Hmmmmm. Is it my introvert rearing her head? I mean this role is a little more - earthy is perhaps the right word - than what I usually play - much more extroverted.

Anyways. This being said. I accept my critic's challenge, to be more outrageous. I shall not venture to be a scene-stealer; rather, I shall venture to be more connected to Buttercup. We'll see...