"Keep out of reach of children"

Yesterday was Halloween. And, of course, I couldn't just let that slide by.
I got up, dug out my vampire teeth and threw them in a cup of Hydrogen Peroxide (they'd been sitting in my medicine cabinet for a year). I then drew an amazingly life-like (death-like?) vampire bite on my neck, using lip liner and three shades of eyeshadow.

Off to work!

I snuck around the office, creeping up on coworkers, and got some great reactions. I live for this stuff, man!

So, I get home, rush to Albertson's for eggs to make pumpkin bread, return home, get the bread in the oven and decide to go full out vampiress. Even though I'm just going to Bible study. I just really wanted to dress up!

Out comes the black shirt and cape-like wrap; the looong blond wig; bright red lips; pale, pale skin; dark, dramatic eyes. What is NOT to like about this costume, seriously?

I am running late. The pumpkin bread is taking to long. I'm supposed to be there at 7pm. It's 6:55.

I run in the bathroom, remember that I never took my medicine that morning, and grap my pills. I see a mug of water next to my sink and take a glup to wash down the meds......and it tasted NASTY!!!!

Slowly, and yet almost immediately, to my horror I realize that I have just taken quite a large swig of hydrogen peroxide. Yup. My fangs were soaking in that mug this morning.

I FREAK out and run to the living room where my roomate and his girlfriend had just sat down. I told them what happened, and I was like, 'what do I do? do I need a doctor? what??" The bottle says "Keep out of reach of children. If swallowed, contact a poison control center IMMEDIATELY". This did not help my state of mind, you see. Ryan was like, drink some water. And I did. And he tried to convince me that since the H2O2 had been sitting out, exposed to the air, all day, that I was going to be fine. I was kinda convinced, and left for Bible Study.

In the car, I called home. Mom answered, and I was like "I need to talk to Dad. Please. Now." He picks up, I tell him my story, and he calls the poison hotline and then calls me back. I am going to be fine. Did you know that sometimes vet's give dogs H2O2 to drink, because the bubbles induce vomiting? Well, I never got sick, so I guess I was okay.

I can just HEAR my father's comments to my mom after he hung up the phone with me. Something along the lines of "Well. Only [MezzoSF] would accidentally drink the hydrogen peroxide she was soaking her fangs in and call us for advice about the situation while dressed as a vampire on her way to Bible study with half-baked pumpkin bread. That must be your daughter."