In Memoriam...love you, K

Katie Wise Friedman Memorial Video from Josh on Vimeo.

forecast

"Blustery with snow showers. Thunder possible. Temps nearly steady in the low to mid 30s. Winds N at 20 to 30 mph. 1 to 3 inches of snow expected."

Thunder and snow...rare but awesome combination.

That's the forecast for Colorado Springs later today, where Katie will be laid to rest at the Air Force Academy in a mere 12ish hours from now. It's completely appropriate...and she would either be laughing or so pissed off about it.
On her wedding day (also at the Academy) the rain and lighting got so bad that the Air Force closed the roads on base, thus preventing wedding guests from getting to the chapel on time. Guests could not leave their cars and head into the chapel, even, because of the wide-open expanse...aka lightning field...between the parking lot and chapel. I can't remember how long the delay was, but Katie wasn't happy about it.

Fitting that thunderous snow should accompany her exit...I think she would've enjoyed that.

**Update** Please pray for safe travel for everyone going down to the Springs...*this* is absolutely crazy...

---------
Issued by The National Weather Service
Denver/Boulder, CO
8:39 pm MDT, Tue., Oct. 27, 2009

... WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 6 PM MDT THURSDAY...

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 6 PM MDT THURSDAY.

SNOW... HEAVY AT TIMES WILL DEVELOP WEDNESDAY MORNING AND CONTINUE INTO THURSDAY. TOTAL SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 10 TO 18 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE... WITH UP TO 24 INCHES IN THE DENVER AREA. NORTH WINDS AT 15 TO 30 MPH WILL PRODUCE AREAS OF BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

RESIDENTS SHOULD PREPARE FOR A LONG PERIOD OF WINTER STORM CONDITIONS WITH DIFFICULT OR IMPOSSIBLE TRAVEL ON WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY. EXPECT CONDITIONS TO DETERIORATE CONSIDERABLY WEDNESDAY MORNING. CONSIDER COMPLETING TRAVEL TONIGHT IF POSSIBLE. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY... TAKE ALONG A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT.

unprepared

I am not prepared for today.

There would be no way to prepare for today.

None of us are.

Some are anxious.
Some are angry.
Some are just plain sad.
Some of us are numb.

I think I have reached numb. Sad? yes. Last weekend and almost every night of last week were filled with gut-wrenching sobs. Since I've been back in Denver the last three days, I have barely cried, mostly...out of protection, I think. And the strange, irrational hope that all of this is a bad nightmare from which I will awake.

But it's not.

I've dug through the old photos. Seen the red-rimmed eyes. Held on to hugs much longer than normal.

But today? tonight? I still feel numb. If I didn't...I would be experiencing a pain probably akin to having one's heart drawn and quartered, and I am not ready to go back to that place right now.

Later today is the wake. I'm going. But I don't know if I'm going inside. We'll see when we get there.

thanks

...for all of the well-wishes and prayers. I am hanging in there - sometimes it feels as if only by a thread. But God is good.

Please continue to pray for Jon, Clark & Quinn Kat. They've a long road ahead of them.

Funeral services are next week...K should be repatriated from Italy sometime over the weekend.

Trying to cross-plan housing, a wake, funeral, reception and everything between two countries and 3 states is crazy and exhausting.

I'm going to bed.

ouch

"Emotional" doesn't quite cut it as a descriptor of my
mental
emotional
physical
state.

More like...
Lengthy stretches of numb
punctuated by body-wracking sobs and
silence

as the tears flow

one
by
one
by
one

As I remember
your goofy side
your love of Otter Pops
the way you beamed at your boys with such love

Oh, my dear sweet Katie.
Friends for life is not long enough
when one life gets cut short.

You are missed.
Loved.
Remembered.
And your extended "family" will keep watch over all your boys.
(That's a Promise.)
What a blessing they are, especially little Quinn.

Love you.
(And get a pair of scissors from your grandma for me.)

the unspeakable

A friend of mine died. Giving birth. My USAF friends in Italy....whom I will be forever grateful that I got to visit last month...the wife, a friend for my entire life...died. I can't even wrap my brain around it. heading to CO to be with family for a few days and will head back once they figure out the memorial service.

the newborn, baby boy, is strong and healthy. please pray for the dad, now a widower with two small children under the age of 2!

Reversal

The thing is . . .
*I'm* supposed to be the quiet one.
That is my accustomed role.

Shy around strangers - and especially handsome men.
I can't tell 'em, but I laugh at jokes - the worse, the better.
"Call me if you need ANYthing - even at 2am," is sincerely spoken.

"You're such a good listener," they say.
"I know I can trust you with anything."
"Thank you."

Tall shoulders to cry on.
An easy smile of encouragement.
Words to soothe.

I love my loved ones unwaveringly.
Loyalty is a virtue.
If troublesome, at times.

And then?
You.

You've upset my . . . knowing how
to act. In any other situation with any other person, I would be the one too shy to venture the first sentence. With you I babble. As if some tricky imp has stolen my tongue and randomly strung words together in a mesh and tangle of verbs, nouns and antecedents. Oh, what fool this mortal be, eh old Puck?

It's nerves.
It's butterflies.
It's being shy around a handsome man, but with quite a different outcome.
It's . . . the recollection of the cold, wintry night when you first kissed me.
And I kissed back.

It's the paradoxical certainty of something which should be completely uncertain.
It's my utter lack-of-control over the situation, which serves as my reminder that I'm better because of it. Because God's in control.
God is in control.

You have the strong shoulders.
You have the easy smile of encouragement.
And - though given more to action - your voice still soothes.

The situation may not be ideal, may not make (logical) sense.
But if everything were logical in life, we'd all be bored.

And I would give anything to tell you this in person tonight.
But all I can do is send a prayer of protection, thanks and love your way.
And wish, hope, trust know that you do the same.

I've a lot of stuff

on my mind. But I'm too tired to write at length about anything - it's time to go to bed.

In random order...wanna write about the following at some point this week:
-Afghanistan
-National Parks
-Health
-Singing
-Other...hahah

woot. Hope ya'll all had a good weekend. I had a lovely one.
Here's a pic (Marin Headlands):