My End of the Phone Call

"Hey, Mom...I've gotta hang up soon, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"No, Ma...I'm only going to be at home for a few minutes - enough time to grab my stuff and head back out the door."

"No, I don't have a rehearsal tonight, but I am headed to Bible Study up at the church, and I'm going to take the bus."

"Um...hello? Have you *seen* the news? Gas is over $4/gallon here, so, yeah, I'm trying to take the bus more."

"WHAT? The bus is FINE mother. It's fine. Really. My neighborhood is *fine*. Look, I'm leaving when it's still light outside. No reason to get upset. Seriously...What? No, [Sibling] is not at home...he's still at work. Are you going to get him to talk me out of taking the bus??"

"Come on. You can't be serious. MOM. Do you know how many places I've lived where there's much worse public transportation? Seriously. You realize I've ridden public transportation in countries where I don't even speak the language, right? Right?"

"Wait - no...don't worry. I can always get a ride home. Oh you don't have to get dad involved, Mom, just-"

"....."

"Hi, Dad. I don't know. Mom's freaking out over me taking the bus tonight. To church. What? No...it's fine. Really. And I'll get a ride home, I promise."

The familiar

and unwelcome feeling of Panic has been gnawing at me this afternoon. Crawling around under my skin and between my shoulderblades. It started at work, and now I am at home trying my best to breathe in and out at a regular pace - grasping for any hold I can keep on my rational, yet slippery, sense of self - constantly reminding myself that I'm not dying, I'm just hovering on the edge of a mental cliff. It's been over a year since my last full-on panic attack, which I count as a blessing.

I'm hoping that the focus required for rehearsal tonight will help my system to override and reboot itself. I wish it were just a simple means of telling myself to "calm down," but it's not that easy. I can tell myself to calm down, and perhaps that puts off the inevitable, or shortens the duration of an attack, but it really is an involuntary physical manifestation. It's very weird...I can describe all the symptoms like they are happening to someone else...very 'out-of-body' like...but they are not happening to someone else, they are mine.

I think it's probably because I've not slept enough this week...that's happened to me before. Gotta change that and I'll go to bed directly after rehearsal tonight.

blank

I am blank today...do you ever have those times?

Everything feels blank. I think because work was crazy busy and my brain was fried by the time my day was over.

blank.


looking forward to filling in those blanks later this week.

I'm not remotely Irish

...but I still celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
Here are a few funny YouTube clips for ya'll...enjoy!

I *heart* SF

One of the reasons I love SF is by virture of its size; it's a small city. And, well, live here long enough, and you just get to know people.

On Saturday, walking through GG Park with Sibling, a bicyclist zoomed past and I was like...WHOA I knew who that was!

"CIAAAAOOOOO PROFESSOOOOOOOORRREEEE"

~screeeech~ the biker turns around.

It's my Italian professor, running his weekend errands. We chatted for a few moments, then all went on our merry ways.
- - - -
About month ago, I ran into V in the financial district. I was walking down at a time of the morning I'm never out...but for some reason, that day I was. (In fact, it was almost exactly a year to the day since I had last seen him).
He was like "Why haven't I heard from you?"
Me: "Um...because I emailed you and you never returned my emails..."
Him: "oh, man, well I have a new email address, let me give it to you..."
Anyways...I took his info, but have yet to email him. But I might if a really hot salsa band comes to town or something...
- - - -
Today I saw not one, but two people newly returned to SF, both of whom had been away for a few years. It was really crazy - like, suddenly no time at all had passed, when in reality a TON of time had passed, and we are no longer the same people we were when last we met. Makes me realize that I've lived here for a looong time.

prayers needed

Please pray for my good friend J in North Carolina...his father passed away this week, succombing to his battle with cancer;

Please pray for my coworker M, whose uncle had a tragic accident on Friday and ended up hospitalized in a vegetative state; the family was not going to keep him on life support for very long;

Please pray for a close friend and her baby - pray for healing for the mom and safety for the baby;

Please pray for P and his fellow Soliders, as tensions escalate in the 'box;

Please pray for T, still looking for housing.

A good way

. . . to start out the morning (or...mid-morning, as the case may be), is laughing one's ass off walking down the street. I highly recommend this.

Sibling: "Time to make like a chicken and get the cluck outta here."

Me: *WHAT* did you just say?

Sibling: "I just made that up right now - did you like it?"

Me: "OH yeah. Nice. What about make like a chicken and cluck off?"

Sibling: "Make like a plane and jet."

Me: "Make like a ball and roll. NO...make like a ball and bounce."

Sibling: "Make like the band and Jet."

Me: "Make like a gang in West Side Story and Jet."

Sibling: "Oh yeah...but when you say that one you have to spontaneously burst into the dance and slowly retreat backwards, snapping." [Demonstrates said move].

Me: laughing me arse off, doubled over on the street

Sibling: "You should totally do that somewhere, like, next time you're leaving a place with a bunch of people."

Me: "I would - but I can't snap, man!!"

Sibling: "Okay, then make sure your Sibling is with you and we'll both do it. Although I'll probably mess it up and say something like, Make like West Side Story and leave."

Friday fives - Top of Mind

From Five on Friday:
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you read each of these words and why?

1. ice - cold. And I don't like when you're drinking an iced beverage and the ice comes crashing down into your teeth.

2. primary - colors. I don't know why that's the first thing, it just is.

3. dirty - dancing. Nobody puts Baby in a .... you know the rest

4. green - M&M's. Psychological viagra.

5. fly - paper. Never used it, but for some reason it makes me think of old cartoons.

file under: humor

After drinking too much green tea at dinner last night, I found myself on a caffeine-fueled trip through the wormholes of blogs begetting blogs begetting blogs . . . ad nauseum. One of the sites I stumbled upon was called Skippy's List: The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.
(#10: Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time; #16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”; etc.) I urge you to go check out his list - there are many laugh-out-loud funny ones.

Also ran across this Daily Show clip over at Chuck's blog . . . features our very own Bezerkeley Code Pink as they faced off against the USMC. Pretty damn funny.

Office Kninja

The Office Kninja is stealthy and quiet. Freakishly so.

The Office Kninja prides himself on his ability to creep right up on a cubical dweller - right into the cube inself - and read over the dweller's shoulder unnoticed for several seconds.

Then SUDDENLY!

An arm appears out of nowhere and - as it reaches across you for a large paperclip from your special large paperclip holder - you immediately want to shudder and recoil from this gross invasion of your personal space. But such a shudder would show weakness - or even worse - would insult your supervisor the Office Kninja. So instead, you jump 3 feet up in the air.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you? Are you busy right now?"

....uh....am I busy? What do *you* think - that I didn't hear/see/sense your kninjaness because I was just sitting here staring into space?? Can't you see that I'm very busy on this spreadsheet? Which I've just now learned has the capacity to contain 65,536 rows??

Did you know?

Did you know that there are 65,536 rows available to use in an Excel spreadsheet? I didn't know, either, until I accidentally hit something on my keyboard, and the cursor jumped all the way to the very last row . . . and then there was just grey space. No additional rows would appear, no matter what I did to try and make them appear.

Who knew?

Alone, And Yet Alive!

Alone, and yet alive! Oh, sepulchre!
My soul is still my body's prisoner!
Remote the peace that Death alone can give —
My doom, to wait! my punishment, to live!

Hearts do not break!
They sting and ache
For old love's sake,
But do not die,
Though with each breath
They long for death
As witnesseth
The living I!
The living I!

Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
Why linger here,
Where all is drear?
Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
May not a cheated maiden die?

May not a cheated maiden die?

- - - - - -
I've started rehearsals for the new show I'm doing, and this is one of my "big numbers"...it's an achingly beautiful song. And quite sincere - not a song done melodramatically or for laughs in any sense. It is - in a word - 'vulnerable.' And this is one of the hardest things for me to do on stage. Granted, I am WAY way better at this than I was even two years ago, so I'm not that worried about it. I just know that it's going to be a process, and I'm looking foward to this process, but it's not an easy one.

Time to bring back the snail!

oh bliss

the interwebs is finally back up and running chez moi!

understatement

It seems to be an especially bad week for our OIF troops and innocent civilians . . . keep them all in your prayers tonight!

retro

I'm retroactively posting this because I wrote a whole post and then my home DSL went out. BOOOOO. I *hope* it is back up and running again, but I have no idea.

so.

hopefully we'll be getting back to our regularly scheduled blogging soon!!

slight paraphrase, but you get the idea

" . . . I don't even say that when I'm drunk on the phone talking to my Grandmother!!"


(Or something like that, anyways. The speaker will remain nameless, in order to protect the children. The children laughing their asses off over $1.50 beers during happy hour, that is.)

weekend redux top 10

Making this in easy format, because I can't really focus much to make it otherwise. Random order:

1. Planted trees as part of SF Connect on Saturday morning. Made some new friends, and had a great time helping out the neighborhood. Props to GW for getting FBC folks involved.

2. Seeing In Bruges. I no - I can't shut up about this movie. Yes it's crass and morbid and achingly British. Therein lies the genius. And Colin Farrell is effen brilliant. BRILLIANT I tell you.

3. Sent a care package to P with gummy bears (by request) and other assorted random items. Also included some of this candy which made me laugh so hard, I almost peed my pants. Because, you know, you can't send *real* pork products to The Sandbox.

4. Joined a card-sending-team with the amazing Soldiers' Angels, thereby putting my 2008 resolution of writing more letters to the test.

5. Went up to Ledson with Sibling to pick up my wine. I hadn't been in several months, so I had 8 bottles waiting for me. All told, however, we came home with 14 bottles between us...! Time to have a party!

6. Dinner at Fish. in Sausalito. So tasty.

7. The weather here was beautiful this weekend. Springtime has sprung in the City.

8. Rona sent me a text this morning asking for a ride to church. I couldn't give her one because I had to be there at 9am today. Well...I had failed to adjust my clocks prior to going to bed, so I thought it was 7:30 when she texted. NOPE it was 8:30am. Good thing she did text, or I would have been really late!

9. Live salsa music apres-tree planting.

10. Cereal for dinner. Honey nut cheerios, to be precise.

11. America's Best Dance team facing off with songs from Thriller. HOT.

(ps: "but it goes up to eleven...")

stellar

Thus far, I am having a stellar weekend, indeed....so many fun times. I am composing a list for tomorrow.

In the mean time, in case you've not already heard me talking about this:

GO SEE THE FILM In Bruges RIGHT now. It was brilliant, hilarious, morbid, and oh-so-very-British. LOVED it.

Friday Fives - Hope

From RevGals via Wyld:

What have you seen/heard this week that was a:

1. Sign of Hope?
My friend's decision to take the first steps towards leaving an abusive relationship.

2. An unexpected word of light in a dark place?
An email from a friend experiencing a similar mind-fog to mine.

3. A sign of spring?
All the flowers are blooming here!

4. Challenging/surprising?
Finding out an old friend of mine just had a baby - and realizing I need to be better at keeping in touch with her!

5. Share a hope for the coming week/month/year:
Too many hopes to list here! I hope you all have many hopes, too!

all Greek to me . . .

Sibling and I went to dinner tonight - Greek food at what is *probably* my favorite Greek restaurant in SF: Mykonos. It really is awesome. And yummy...

The best part? During the course of the evening, getting to just have "real" talk with mon cher frere. Even though we are housemates, we often pass an entire week without seeing each other for more than a "hey, how's it going?" or the occasional ride into work together.

OPA!
---
In other news...is anyone else out there watching Eli Stone? It is such a quirky show, and I can't *quite* figure it out. I love that it's set in SF - of all places - and has such a spiritual/Higher Power vibe to it. Even more interesting is the fact that this show is seemingly trying to tap into a (long?) dormant spiritual side of your average-everyday-I-just-watched-LOST-so-I'll-catch-Eli-Stone-audience, even in light of this newly released Pew study on religion in America.

NB: If you find the afore-linked study interesting, check out these articles:

Stereotypical SF take on things from SFGate


Secularism makes a comeback from TheAtlantic.com


Read what the NYTimes has to say about things


Ironically, this is a Christianity Today article on the same topic - but from 2002!


And, check out this little gem entitled Religion in World Affairs. It's not quite the same topic, but interesting, nevertheless.

Quote

"Where does India call for tech support?"
- Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Understatement

I saw an advertisement for IKEA today. It was a large sign on the side of a bus.

The fine print: "Some products might require assembly."

I think

. . . yesterday's post exhausted me and I have low creative juices running tonight.

So. I'll leave you with a little tidbit from Sunday evening.
I was at my alma mater to see a bunch of friends in a performance. While there, I saw my former Italian professor (easily one of my favorite teachers ever) - and got to shoot the breeze in italiano, which always makes me happy.
We talked about how things were going, what I've been up to since the last time we'd run into each other (at the Shakespeare Festival six months ago), how his family was doing etc, etc.

Just before we parted ways, he imparted to me this unsolicited advice:
"I think it would be *good* for you to be a little more hedonistic."

Had I been drinking something when he said that, I probably would have spewed said beverage all over him. Seriously - I don't even remember what my response was.

Hedonism: Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.

I'm all for pleasuring the senses . . . fine wines, arts, lingering kisses, etc. However, my 'devotion' lies elsewhere.

La plus ca change . . .

The more things change, the more they are the same . . .
- - -
In an attempt to keep current on the situation in Iraq, I follow the DOD press releases, the blogs, the military sites, online news, and yes even the NY Times. I read lots of different sources to get a rounded perspective (especially because my local media can tend to be . . . of a certain slant, shall we say?) I learned something tonight though, that I hadn't realized before: the city of Mosul is the capital of Ninevah Province.

Growing up, I spent my fair share of time in Vacation Bible School. And one of the most popular stories we read was Jonah and the Whale, of course. As a kid, I was fascinated that someone could get eaten by - and then spit out of - a fish. I learned that Jonah disobeyed God because he had been scared and decided to run away, and his consequence of not doing what he was told was being stuck in a smelly fish belly.

Well...fast forward a few years, and I realize that the story told in Jonah is not just about Jonah, but about the people of Ninevah and God's grace on his people.

Jonah was supposed to go to Ninevah because:

The Lord gave this message to Jonah son of Amittai: “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgment against it because I have seen how wicked its people are."

But, of course, Jonah turned and ran in the opposite direction. Perhaps he didn't want to be blamed for the bad news he was to deliver. He was Hebrew, and not generally liked in the place he was called to go. Instead of being concerned for the well-being of the people of Ninevah, he was scared of what they might do to him for telling them they were going to face God's judgement.

Well, after spending what I can only imagine to be a horrible three days & nights in the belly of his fishy prison, God told Jonah a second time to go to Ninevah, and this time he did:

Then the Lord spoke to Jonah a second time: “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh, and deliver the message I have given you.”

This time Jonah obeyed the Lord’s command and went to Nineveh, a city so large that it took three days to see it all. On the day Jonah entered the city, he shouted to the crowds: “Forty days from now Nineveh will be destroyed!” The people of Nineveh believed God’s message, and from the greatest to the least, they declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow.

When the king of Nineveh heard what Jonah was saying, he stepped down from his throne and took off his royal robes. He dressed himself in burlap and sat on a heap of ashes. Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city:

“No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop all their violence. Who can tell? Perhaps even yet God will change his mind and hold back his fierce anger from destroying us.”

Jonah delivered his message - and to his surprise, the people actually listened! They took heed of his warning and changed their ways. Also to Jonah's great surprise and even his anger, God did not go through with his planned destruction of the city. Jonah was upset because he had thought God was indeed compassionate and wouldn't go through with the destruction, so he shouldn't have even sent Jonah in the first place! God should have shown his mercy from the get-go and why on earth did he bother with making Jonah go someplace he didn't want to go??

Well - perhaps the point of this book in the Bible is not that God has great mercy and love for the world - but do we? God made Jonah examine his OWN attitude towards the people of Ninevah, as we see in the last chapter of the book:

Then Jonah went out to the east side of the city and made a shelter to sit under as he waited to see what would happen to the city. And the Lord God arranged for a leafy plant to grow there, and soon it spread its broad leaves over Jonah’s head, shading him from the sun. This eased his discomfort, and Jonah was very grateful for the plant.

But God also arranged for a worm! The next morning at dawn the worm ate through the stem of the plant so that it withered away. And as the sun grew hot, God arranged for a scorching east wind to blow on Jonah. The sun beat down on his head until he grew faint and wished to die. “Death is certainly better than living like this!” he exclaimed.

Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry because the plant died?”
“Yes,” Jonah retorted, “even angry enough to die!”

Then the Lord said, “You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness,not to mention all the animals. Shouldn't I feel sorry for such a great city?”

- - -
Before P headed back out to "the Sandbox" on Friday, I asked him how we here at home could pray for him - besides, of course, for the physical safety of all our troops. His response?
"Pray for peace in the Middle East".

At first ... wow, that seems to be practically impossible, right? How do we pray for peace to reign in a city - a country, a region - which has been fighting and not peaceful for literally thousands of years? Do I have the tiniest bit of faith that God is compassionate, kind and ultimately wants to save the people of Ninevah - of Iraq, of the Middle East - again from their current path of self-destruction?

Well, I better not spend too much time trying to figure out if I have that kind of faith or not.
There are far too many lives at stake (Iraqi, American, TCN, etc) to delay.

quote

"It's like the Titanic, but with BEARS!!!!!"

- Jackie Moon aka Will Ferrell in "Semi Pro"

Family Traditions

I am 28 years old. Perhaps different from a lot of people, I did not drink alcohol before I turned 21. What can I say? I was pretty goody-two-shoes. Even when I lived in France during college (and I was not yet 21), I only had wine once or twice. Looking back, I cannot believe that!

All this being said - fast foward to now. I still do not drink alcohol very often. Living in the Bay Area, I've come to appreciate good wine, indeed, but I've never been sick from drinking. I don't like the physical symptoms that come with "drunkness" and the lack of judgement that is often part of that, as well.

Anyways. Tonight. We celebrated Sibling & Shanna's bday at our neighborhood Irish pub. I started out with them there and then progressed on to a *different* Irish pub across town for a going-away party, and then went BACK to the original pub to meet up with my original crew.

When I got back, I was greeted with a round of shots. Now. This is the first time EVER that I have ever "done shots" with my brother. It was a real family bonding moment. We did two rounds of something nasty. Ick.

Anyways. A new leap year tradition, perhaps? hahaha - I'm not sure...but it was fun(ny) to partake of the aforementioned adult beverages with the same man whose toys I used to break.

Leap Year Friday Fives

It's Leap Day!! Whether you're one of the special few who have a birthday only once every four years, or simply confused by the extra day on the calendar, everyone is welcome to join in and play our Leap Year Friday Five.

Tell us about a time you:
1. Leapt before looked:
In recent memory – deciding about 24 hours before-the-fact to head to NashVegas for MLK, Jr. weekend. It was a good decision :)

2. Leapt to a conclusion:
Honestly, there was this one audition last year that I NAILED and thought for sure I was going to get the part for which I auditioned. I mean…really…there were so many factors pointing me towards that conclusion. And after all was said and done – I didn’t get the role, which was disappointing. And I felt even stupider for being ‘so sure’ of it. I guess it’s a fine line between self-confidence and being cocky . . . But I got over it.

3. Took a Leap of Faith:
Every day . . .

4. Took a literal Leap:
This one time caving in CO with my youth group (many years ago now), I leapt into nothingness and ended up hanging upside-down there for a while, suspended by my boot which had wedged *just so* in a crevasse. And let me tell you how awesome that was. I owe my life/sanity/etc. to Ty’s brother (and P’s cousin) M for getting me outta that situation.

5. And finally, what might you be faced with leaping in the coming year?
I feel like this year might bring several life hurdles my way. I’ll be entering the last year of my 20s, so perhaps that has something to do with said feeling. I’m not sure yet what all that entails . . . we’ll see!

where she stops . . . nobody knows!

so...

I'm feeling much better now than I was a few short hours ago.
I still feel a little bit like crawling out of my own skin - but, I am more at peace now than I was.

--

P's flight leaves at 8am Friday and he'll spend about 22 hours in flight getting back to the desert. I can't even imagine spending that much time in flight - Wow. What I do know is that his reading material for the voyage is Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot." You know, nice *light* reading.

Wishing you well P - and sending lots of prayers your way . . .

round and round and round she goes

trying to get a grip on things, folks. there are just those days/weeks/seasons where everything seems to converge into one big, hot, emotional wreck of a mess.

*good* times for all.

i mean, for the most part, i 'keep it together'. work is fine. home is fine. blah blah blah. but hear a certain song on the radio - hell, even read a seemingly 'random' clue in today's crossword puzzle - and here come the tears.

wtf, mate?

i feel sick to my stomach and i know it's not anything i've eaten - because i haven't eaten much. it's nerves, tension, stress, emotional upheaval, my brain and my body completely out of sync with my heart and soul. this is why the good Lord gave me a piano to play on and music in which i can cocoon myself.

the strangest thing about all of this is my seeming lack of panic attacks. now THAT is a huge praise - because that was the torture i was experiencing a year ago.


as my friend Jen said to me earlier - "don't you just want to blame the whole month on pms sometimes?"

indeed. ;)

really?

Why *IS* it that when you - okay, when I - find myself in conversation with someone I really *like*, that all intelligent conversation FLIES OUT THE WINDOW on my part?
And it doesn't matter the venue...if it's someone I am really attracted to, it happens in person, over the phone, whatever.

Seriously.

It goes something a little like this:
1. Strike up a conversation
2. An invisible gnome sneaks up behind me
3. Said gnome whacks me in the back of the head with a stupid brick
4. My cheeks flush and I start saying "I don't know...uh...grusoviejsfoieoieuoru".

Rinse, repeat as necessary.

ack. I love being a woman, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like *such* a little girl, you know?

Okay. I'm going to watch La Vie en Rose now.

Chip off the old block

Now, this has been floating around on the interwebs for a while - but I just saw it. And it's freakin' hilarious.

WARNING: contains grown-up language.

the letter

Her right leg dangling off the edge of the bed, she slowly loses circulation in her foot: the numbness of her awkwardly hanging extremity but a pale mirror of the numbing she feels creeping into and over her emotions and spirit.

In her lap, the letter sits halfway open now, beckoning to be read and reread for the 48th time . . . the words never change, and yet, they never cease to surprise her, either. How just a few scribbles on the back of a thin piece of celluloid can be so powerful is almost impossible to wrap her mind around. Ideas, concepts, words: everything melting together to create meaningful sentences. Or perhaps she is the one adding the meaning. Reading between the lines. Decoding what she hopes - what she wishes - is thus encrypted.

The imminent threat of tears starts as a rumbling somewhere deep down behind the place in her heart where the fondest memories of those long gone - but still dear - are kept. Slowly, but steadily, her throat starts to close up, the rational part of her still trying to keep it together lest she fall apart in front of her....what - ancient dolls and teddy bears? Even alone, she holds it back. If she can delude herself for just one minute more, keep the dam from bursting, then perhaps the curtain will rise and the studio audience will jump to its feet, applauding and commending her on a 'wonderful and realistic' portrayal of the triumph of human will over emotion.

But no. This is not film. This is not reality TV. This is real time; a slice of life worthy of note only in the heart and mind of one. One that is indeed wishing she were not sitting there, alone in the dark, on the edge of the bed, tears flowing softly and freely down her cheeks.

feedback

The concert went well last night. Our audience was smaller than we had hoped, due to the craptastic rainstorm we were having. But, even though they were small(er), they were mighty and very receptive.

When I got to the venue, I started thinking about how long it had been since I'd performed in this kind of situation - that is . . . singing an opera excerpt without actually being in the opera. Shoot - it's been months since I've even had to audition for anything. That being the case, I was starting to think "well, crap...hopefully I'm not boring and don't just stand up there like a moron, etc etc". So, I took a quick few minutes to sit and think through my piece, again - getting in touch with the emotional viewpoint of Demetrius (the character).

So. I get up there, do my thing, actively lowering my center of gravity to walk and project more manly than not. But mostly - I think about my attitude, my eyes, my sense of defiance. How, despite being incarcerated (as it were), none of that matters..."the man" can't bring me down. Basically, my thought process was "*uck you and your little dog too - you can't quelch me." And - shoot - I am in love, so all things are possible, right? Right!

I guess it worked, because a man came up to me later and said "You know - even though you didn't move around a lot or anything during your song . . . you were believable. I could read everything in your face & sound. I know you must've been working hard, but it looked easy."

And that - well, that was probably the highest compliment I could have received. I was humbled and just smiled and said "thank you....".

The clothes make the woman

I am singing tonight as part of a fundraising concert benefiting the Life After Exoneration Project and the Unrepresented Death Row Prisoner Project. I became involved in the concert because I have performed with the woman whose pet project this is. And she is formidable: a death row lawyer, clergywoman AND dramatic soprano. Unusual combination, eh?

All of the music being performed tonight is either sung by characters in prision, enslaved, or otherwise held against their will. We've excerpts from Aida, the prisonners chorus from Nabucco, etc etc etc.

I myself will be singing a lively Handelian piece. As is often the case for us mezzo-soprani, the character singing is male. He's been imprisioned for plotting the overthrow of his beloved's sister, the Queen of Egypt. However, jail does not get him down - if anything, it makes him that much more cocksure and determined:

Yes, even in chains and bonds
my faith will shine.
No, not even death itself
will extinguish my fire!

And now to the title of this post . . . as this is a fairly formal event, I've been debating what to wear. Since we'll have an emcee announcing a little about each of our arias, the audience will know that this is a "pants role" for me. In other words, it would be weird for me to waltz out in a long formal gown, breasts a-heaving as it were, hair defying gravity and rain with unnatural poofiness and the aid of much hairspray. Nope...instead, it'll be black formal pants, a red shantung button-down and keeping the hair back in a low, less-poofy ponytail.

I'm not conceeding my diva jewelry though . . . hell no! A woman's got to do what a woman's got to do!

Friday Saturday Fives: Heaven

A little late on this one ... sorry!

Anyways - taking this one from Wyldth1ng.

So how about we share five "heavenly" things? These can be serious or funny or a combination of the two. What is your idea of a heavenly (i.e. wonderful and perfect):

1. Family Get-together?
Anything where my entire family - I'm talking aunts, uncles, cousins, etc - can be there. I love visiting all of them in their natural habitat (The South) but every now and then we'll all end up in Rocky Mountain National Park, which is also a great time. My extended family is pretty small, so we can all easily fit in one place. And I miss seeing them!!!

2. Song or musical piece?
This is a hard question for me to answer...ack. So, I'm going to list a few different things (in random order): Barber's Adagio for Strings but scored for voices with the Agnus Dei text; Chopin's Nocturnes; Lensky's 2nd act aria in Eugene Onegin; Paint it Black by the Rolling Stones; In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel; and anything by U2.

3. Gift?
Friendships - old and new.

4. You choose whatever you like-food, pair of shoes, vacation, house, or something else. Just tell us what it is and what a heavenly version of it would be.
The perfect blanket for cuddling, napping, what-have-you is the "nap" brand of blankets from Sharper Image. Expensive and totally worth it - they are the softest blankets EVER.

5. And for a serious moment, or what would you like your entrance into the next life to be like? What, from your vantage point now, would make Heaven "heavenly?"
I would like my entrance to be without fuss on this end, but with great rejoicing on the far end. Being reunited with loved ones long gone would make Heaven "heavenly" for me.

30 November 1981

Dear Grandaughter -

Wish you were here to drink coffee with NaNa & PaPa. The men come to work by the time we get up and stay all day. What a mess, but you'd love it.

We have rain but no snow.

Aunt Fran was off all week and she worked some on Hewitt's room. We went to Shreveport one day. Is [Santa] Claus coming to see you?

We love you
NaNa & PaPa

From the mouths of babes . . .

One of the things mom & I discovered over the weekend was my elementary school's "Renaissance Poetry of 1985" book. Each class had poems published and 1985 happened to be my kindergarten year. I was in Miss Lessig's A.M. Kindergarden class.

Our first entry is by: Yours Truly, Dan, Jamie, Katy T. and Trevor.:

Once upon a time there was a magic garden and there was a king. There was a unicorn. The magic garden could make anything. There was a magic cloud and a rainbow and a magic book. There was a magic king and he could make anything just like that - that fast. And the book, when you read it, the story comes true. The garden made the first thing it ever made. It made one big cloud come up in the sky so it would be scarey and stuff. There was a live purse. The unicorn could fly and it was magic. Once there was a real queen and the live purse - the queen didn't know it was alive. And there was a magic school. It had little kids in it that could fly.

This next entry is by: Yours Truly, Katie C., Dan D., and Traci B.:

I saw a Snoopy up in the sky
Pinocchio in the clouds
a white rabbit
an eagle flying up high
a shiny diamond necklace and a ring up in the sky
Robin Hood shooting a bow and arrow at the sheriff of Nottingham
a pink unicorn flying on a cloud
a Pegasus with red and white stripes flying around the clouds
Snake Mountain

Candyhouse pics

Pictures from our Candyhouse making on Sunday night. We even listened to Christmas music!

My house (featuring "Bob" the alien Marshmallow blob):


P's cabin (featuring a kick-ass porch):

The artistes themselves (with only a minor chopping-off-of-the-foreheads):

good stuff

My mom pulled a box of my old Kindergarten (I know!) papers out and we went through them. I saved a couple of gems . . . and we threw out the rest. Also tucked among them were letters to me and my brother from our grandmothers & grandfathers and great-grandmother. Reading one of them made me cry - I really do miss them.

Anyways....I'll post some more stuff later.

[edited: I started this post late afternoon on Tuesday - but got interrupted & didn't post until after midnight...alas. However, seeing as I haven't gone to bed yet, I'm counting this as Tuesday's post - so HaHA! lolll]

FFFFFFFff

Last night, when I was finishing my blog, I fell asleep typing (seriously - my parent's have this AMAZING leather couch - it sucks you in and doesn't let go).

Anyways. I woke up and tagged onto the end of my blog entry was (approximately):
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll . . .

It went on and on and on for lines and lines. I was so confused. Funny stuff.

just making it . . .

I started writing this just before midnight - so even if I don't finish it on time, it will be marked on the right date! whew!

Today was a really good day. We went to church and saw everyone, really, including P, which was nice. I forget his hair is all "high and tight" now - but he carries it off well.

Our group (about 15) went to lunch...it started snowing and snowing. Very pretty and very cold.

At 4:30, P and his parents came to our house to:
1. Eat dinner together
2. Make Candyhouses!
3. Celebrate P's dad's birthday.

I made lasagna, and P told us a stories from his deployment. He likes his job (can't go into details) and I was happy to hear that. Around 8, his cousins called and we met them for an 8:30 movie (to which we were 20 minutes late!) We saw Jumper. It was HORRIBLE and hilariously so! I mean, it was an awful movie, but a fun time. P and I returned to my parents house, because we hadn't finished our candyhouses yet - and so we finished them up. They are very cute & I'll post pictures when I return to SF. Now I just have this image of P returning from leave & when his fellow Soldier's ask him what he did during his time off . . . he can say he made a candyhouse. :)

Good times had by all.

Tic Tac Toe dinner

Mom, Dad and I went to Opus, a very SF-like restaurant here in the 'burbs. It was very yummy - and my appetizer is pictured below (Beet & Goat cheese salad...mmm).

Friday five

A little late with the Friday Fives today - oops! Oh well!
I Love the 80s - Slumber Party Edition
If you were throwing an 80s themed slumber party...

1. What movies would you show?
All the Molly Ringwald films; Howard the Duck; Princess Bride & Ghostbusters

2. What kind of food would you serve?
Popcorn, slice & bake cookies, salsa & chips probably

3. Which childhood friends and crushes would you reminisce about?
Ralph Macchio! And probably all the people from CCVE, as well as our corrupt Youth Group...still a miracle any of us turned out normal!.

4. Which trends and fads would you lament most?
Neon.

5. What board or card games would you incorporate?
The Game of Life; Uno; Sorry

Definitely, maybe

Went and saw Definitely, maybe tonight with AZ. It was a sweet movie - not just your average "chick flick."

I highly recommend it!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

bezerkeley

Seems the Berkeley City Council has somewhat come to their senses.

I'm all for freedom of speech. It's one of the best things about America. But - as AZ noted - remember where those freedoms come from, how they are defended, and at what price...

NOW I get it . . .

One of my mom's favorite sayings when we were growing up was:

"Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

A sign with those words hung over the computer in our house. I hated that expression. It made me so made. Especially when I had waited to the last minute to finish a paper . . . and then we ran out of printer paper. Or some such thing.


But. Now. As an adult? In an office? I totally get it - and, there are many times when I am tempted to hang a sign of my own . . .

and the love/hate continues

The love/hate relationship with Bezerkeley continues. Although, this is more hate (on my end) than love this week...

Berekley takes on the United States Marine Corps.

My money's on the USMC.

Forget year of the rat - try year of the baby

I was doing a mental count today of all the people I know having babies this year, or who just had one at the tail end of last year. The number - quite frankly - is startling (at least to me)! I guess this is what comes with getting older :)

Geographical location of the babies in question:

California: 7
Florida: 2
Italy: 1
Texas: 1
Virginia: 1

All this being said, I am sooo thrilled for all of these families!!!

Beginnings

I usually think of Sunday as being the end of the week. However, tonight it struck me that really, Sunday can be (should be?) thought of as the beginning of the week. That one slight change can make a big difference in my perception.

As the first day of the week, it can be a time to rest before diving into the work-week; a time to spend with family and friends (old & new), just 'being'. A time to focus on God and not let the weekly worries get to me yet....

Today was a day like that. After church, I spent several hours in GG Park - with old and new friends - enjoying the sunshine, looking at the flowers, and enjoying the day. Later, after dinner with a couple more friends, participated in an amazing time of worship and fellowship which set the tone for the days ahead.

It was a great beginning to my week.

MacGyver

Armed with nothing but an old pair of cuticle trimmers and my stubbornness steely resolve, I set upon the task at hand.

Not a few years ago, after a trip to Scotland, my dad gave me this beautiful purple-blue atomizer. It has sat for the longest time - unused - on my bathroom shelf. Nothing but a pretty objet d'art taking up space.

Perhaps it was the cold-induced fog, or the fact that I was just itching for something to do having been cooped up in the house for so long, but I decided I would make use of this pretty bit of glass TODAY without delay. It's not that I hadn't tried to use it before. No...the problem had been I could never open up the bottle of my perfume in order to pour it into the atomizer.

Until this morning.

So...armed with nothing but an old pair of cuticle trimmers ( . . . etc, etc) I managed to pry off the bit of hard plastic on the top of my perfume. It only took a couple of minutes, thus allowing me to unscrew the rest of it and pour it into the beautiful "new" bottle.

Success!

I even managed *not* to pour perfume all over the place - truly a miracle in and of itself. Now, who's ready for a nap?

Friday five

This is a particularly a propos Friday Fiver...

Chicken Soup
1. How often do you get sick with a cold? The flu? Something else?
Well, I have a cold right now. A mild one. Every few months...though I'm more prone to them when I don't sleep enough.

2. Are you the sort of person who goes to work or school no matter how sick you are or are you willing to stay at home when it gets bad?
No - I stay home if I can. I don't like being that person who goes to work sick, and then gets everyone else sick. That happens a lot in our office.

3. How do you like to treat a cold? What remedies do you like and why?
Rest, water, tea, soup, nighttime cold meds so I can sleep.

4. What do you do to keep from getting sick in the winter?
um...well. Not sure on that one.

5. What is your favorite thing to do when you stay home from work or school?
Sleep. Watch a dvd. Today I stayed in bed with my laptop and watched Ugly Betty.

wonderings

- I'm wondering if for Lent I can give up something along the lines of "going to bed too late". That would be sacrificial. I think even if I aim for 11 pm . . . that would be a start.

- Holy crap - what is happening on L O S T!? WHAT? Is anyone else watching this?!?

- I have a mild cold. blech. Trying to keep it from turning into a major one. I got home from work and slept for a few hours. And I'm going to go back to bed soon.

- The email I had from P on Sunday said he'd be headed home yesterday from Kuwait. As of this morning CA time, he had spoken to his parents & was still in country, waiting for his orders to head on out. I wonder what those flight paths are? Just interesting to think about.

- I wonder who's going to win the democratic candidacy? And, similarly, how long do is Huckabee going to stay in the race?

- I hope my rehearsal on Saturday is not rescheduled for early in the morning. That would be no good.

- SERIOUSLY wtf? Is this Miles guy (back to L O S T) a ghostbuster or a psychic or something? OMG I think he is??? Seriously...WHAT is going on? He's also some kind of conman?? He communicates with the dead, I think.

I'm done musing for the moment. Talk amongst yourselves.

figure of speech

Today's word-of-the-day is asshat.

Enjoy.

Happy Mardi Gras

Hope ya'll have all lived it up tonight! It was A's last night in town, and his actual birthday, so we had a small potluck dinner chez moi: lasagna, salad, garlic bread, vino and "chocolate decadence' cake. We even had party favors!

The theme: "You don't look a day over 30 (let's keep it that way!)" it has been a lovely few days with A in town. Busy! But lots of fun, to be sure!!

Weekend!

It was a great weekend (minus the shin-incident).
A good chunk of the weekend was spent with A, in town for his 30th bday. We saw Cloverfield (meh - interesting story, dizzying camerawork) and rented Stardust (excellent), had lunch at his favorite SF joint (Flippers) and went to the beach. Sunday night, A's West Coast Fan club hit up The Mint for a karaoke birthday spectacular!! And spectacular it was!

Other highlites: experiencing Glide with two friends from outside of the states; catching up with B; thai food with AZ and A and hanging out with sibling. Good times had by all!

good news

It's been a great day thus far - and it's only just half over....I've a lot to write about, but no time. BUT, I am happy because I got an email from P today (haven't heard from him since he was deployed). So, he does get to take an 18-day leave starting Feb. 6th, which means I'll get to see him when I'm home in Denver over President's Day weekend. Hooray!

I think we're going to make Candyhouses. Random but fun. More later . . .

adventures in klutz

Yesterday, when I got home from work, i walked over to my windows in the living room to read through the mail. I turned suddenly to go get something from the other room and walked straight into my coffee table. I hit my right shin on the corner of the metal and glass table and pitched - hands first - onto the glass table. I thought I was going to crash through the table and slice up my arms, face, head...everything.

But praise the LORD, for I did not crash through! I guess my hands were far enough apart, and mostly over the metal frame of the table, to keep me from crashing through the table.

Today my wrists are *very* sore. I've been icing them. And I have a huge, nasty bruise forming on my leg, along with a cut. It is very sore, too.

*sigh* Madame Grace strikes again.

Friday Fiver - Thinking Warm Thoughts

1. What is your favorite hot beverage?
Almost any kind of tea. Really good French or Italian coffee.

2. Describe your favorite hot food?
Mom's gumbo...mmmmmmmmm

3. What piece of clothing makes you feel warm and snuggly the moment you put it on?
Fuzzy, thick socks; Sibling's fleece pull-over; my SF Giants hoodie.

4. Do you warm up your car on cold days? Do you run the heat all the time or just enough to defrost the windows?
It doesn't get cold enough here to have to warm up the car, really. I run the heat until I'm warm & the windows get defrosted and then adjust as necessary.

5. What is your ideal warm-weather vacation spot?
The Mediterranean

A Study in Contrasts

M: Ame
D: Denny's

M: "What are you drinking?"
D: "M'am, can you get me some food?"

M: Stands until the lady is seated.
D: Shivers in the booth.

M: Clean, confident, and completely in control.
D: Ragged, humble, and at the mercy of a stranger.

M: Speaks in jargon, military terms flow freely.
D: Repeats the same stories of life "back on the farm."

M: Helps me with my jacket.
D: Accepts the gift of an old scarf.

M: Opens the door.
D: Walks thru first.

M: Was awarded a Purple Heart.
D: Had a heart attack.

M: On a mission to help Iraq & Afghanistan War Veterans.
D: On a mission to find a place to sleep.

M: Looks me in the eyes, has an easy smile.
D: Looks me in the eyes, has an easy smile.

An argument for music therapy

Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more – it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity.

-Oliver Sachs, Neurologist and author of Music and the Brain

A Passing Case of the Stupids

I think I inadvertantly came up with the title to the perfect break-up album:

The Soundscape of My Stupidity

Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? This was the phrase I used to describe the various and sundry exasperated sounds coming from my mouth today at work as I "accomplished" many stupid things. I couldn't get through one task today without some sort of stupid being infused into it. Lack of sleep, perhaps.

In any case, the evening - and the soundscape - ended with two blond-haired, blue-eyed girls singing the chorus of "Achy Breaky Heart" at the top of our lungs, much to the bemused horror of three speechless Brazilians rounding out the carpool in the backseat. And yes, we knew ALL of the words.

uno, dos, tres, catorce

14 means to a fabulous [week]end:

1. Mustard-tarragon pork tenderloin and roast potatoes coming out tasty on the first try;

2. Speaking French with new friends;

3. Breakfast at Kate's Kitchen with Sibling;

4. Organizing and decrapping kitchen cabinets;

5. U2 t-shirt;

6. Finding a fun Superman Card to send to a friend;

7. Experiencing U2 3D IMAX with an international cast of characters (3 from Brazil, 1 from Belarus), and not being the only SuperFan sporting a U2-shirt;

8. Trying to start "the wave" in the IMAX theater;

9. Blue Bottle coffee, thoughtfully picked up by Rona on Sunday morning;

10. Getting my car out of the parking lot after church before the lot was locked;

11. Putting my own spin on mom's homemade chicken soup;

12. Finally watching "An Inconvenient Truth";

13. Landing a borrowed copy of ZooTV to watch;

14. Receiving a Petit Prince card from another friend.

Looks like Somebody has a case of the Mondays

I was recapping the magic that is U2 3D on the IMAX screen to two of my colleagues this morning - my excitement growing with each passing second of reliving my Saturday night experience – when at the height of my story-telling (reaching out to 3D Bono on the line “Touch me, take me to another place….” as he stretches his hand out to grab MINE over the audience), Debbie Downer joins in with “Oh, you’re talking about that movie you saw? Hahahaha! Did I tell you the story of the really nice man who helped me install xyz appliance at my house last week? His wife dropped dead!” . . . and walks off.

I couldn’t meet the eyes of my two other colleagues, due to inappropriate laughter. Not at the loss of life – never – but at the reliable timing of DD to drop a comment like that. I mean, it’s like clockwork. I could practically set my watch by it.

Happy Monday!

U2 3D - the movie

The film was AWESOME. It had all the benefits of being at a live concert, witout the contact high and sticky beer-shoes. After it was all over and we were walking outside, I felt as if I had been through an emotional wringer. It was a great experience!!! I already want to go see it again!

The adventures of Salty Pete

AZ gave me this guy for my birthday last year. He's handsome AND functional. I use him as a sea salt grinder (hence the name); he is a fierce kitchen tool pirate.

Inspired by all of the kitchen organizing I did today, I decided Salty Pete would go on adventures. And I would take pictures. Stay tuned for chapter one: Salty Pete vs. Pancho Pescado.

Books

Today's Friday Five is actually Wyld's from last week.

1. What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why? Hmmm...the most recent coming to mind is Doonesbury's The Sandbox, which is a collection of stories from Soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's an emotional read (ups AND downs), and I've appreciated the insight into a world which I know very little about. It's also a website, updated daily.

2. What is one of your favorite childhood books?
I loved reading the Ramona Quimby books, and others by Judy Blume.

3. Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell!
Psalms. Every human emotion is expressed in them - pretty amazing, actually.

4. What is one book you could read again and again?
LOTR. The Outlander books

5. Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why?
For Lenten reading? I don't know . . . I've never really thought about it. Perhaps something on discipline . . .

Sarcasm much

Sure I'll share my feelings . . . while listening to Yanni and drinking herbal tea.

-Scott Baio

When Google's parents leave town for the weekend

Go watch this video now.

If you think it's funny and brilliant, then we're on the same page. If not - well, no hard feelings...it's a generational thing, I think. :)

I've come to realize

1. I've come to realize that me and my last ex:
are on different life paths.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
I say "dude" and "awesome" a lot.

3. I've come to realize that I love:
having family in the city.

4. I've come to realize that I have:
many books to read.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost:
my mind.

6. I've come to realize that I hate:
very little.

7. I've come to realize that marriage is:
something to look forward to, but that it's not easy.

8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking about me and:
probably laughing? hahaha - or at least smiling. I hope.

9. I've come to realize that I'll always have:
wine on the wine rack.

11. I've come to realize that the last time I truly cried:
was last week.

12. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
has caused me to lose the ability to memorize phone numbers.

13. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
I did not go to sleep early enough the previous night.

14. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night:
I have to set my alarm clock.

15. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
The Amazing Race finale.

16. I've come to realize that babies:
are squishy in the best way.

17. I've come to realize that I get on myspace:
not very often.

18. I've come to realize that today:
turned out not too shabby.

19. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
go to bed by midnight. Hopefully.

20. I've come to realize that highschool is:
11 years behind me.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
get up and go to work.

22. I've come to realize that I really want:
to travel more.

23. I've come to realize that my last kiss:
was almost exactly a year ago.

24. I've come to realize the last stupid thing I did was because:
I was delirious.

25. I've come to realize that my true friends:
are amazing people.

Tragic

After 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale, I had a huge celebrity crush on Heath Ledger. I tore his picture out of magazines and I'm pretty sure I even wrote him a fan letter once. (I *KNOW* - I can't believe it either.)

I just remembered all this a few minutes ago.

I am saddened that he has passed away...but it's a sort of detached sadness, since I didn't know him personally. Rather, I am saddened for his family and friends. Their loss gets magnified under the scope of a media frenzy - I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that would be to endure.

So...say an extra prayer for the Ledger Family today: for his parents and siblings, his daughter & her mother, and for his circle of friends. They are all just regular folks, too, and mourning the loss of a loved one.

hurry up and wait

That was basically how I spent my day today . . . hurrying up and waiting.

I guess it worked, though, 'cause I finally made it back to my home sweet SF home a few minutes ago. The cab ride home was entertaining. As soon as I got in, the cabby starts hitting on me, asking about my state of singleness or marriedness and if I would like a "part-time boyfriend". . . and I was being polite, but I was on the verge of cracking up. I could barely understand the man because of:
a. my tiredness
b. his extremely thick accent
c. road noise

Good times. Had by all.

OH and surprise, this is post number 500! How exciting. I think I'll give myself a high five. *high five!!!!!!*

BNA *

I'm sitting here waiting for my flight to Denver and then SFO. There's a slight chance that I'll miss my connecting flight if this one is delayed too long (for de-icing). Oh well - good thing Mom and Dad live in Denver - I won't be relegated to the DIA floor for the night if we are delayed...ha! :)

It has been a wonderful weekend. S and I just picked up like no time had passed whatsoever, which always amazes me. I got to visit with her whole family (including meeting her precious nieces & nephew) and meet a few of her close friends. Worlds collided in the best of ways.

We spent a lot of time curled in blankets (temperatures in the teens here!) talking until the wee hours, drinking tea, looking at photos, listening to performances, watching chick flicks, etc. But we also braved the cold, going for a lake-side trek with her dad in the Nature reserve behind her folks' house. (I'll put up a couple of pics soon).

As is usually the case, I feel very much at home when I head back to a Southern state. Living my fast-paced city life, I forget how nice it is to walk down the street and have everyone say "hello". Also, you don't have to lock your doors out in the country where S's folks live, and you can leave things in the car without worrying about break-ins. The men are gentlemen and the women are ladies, and everyone is happy with and expects this arrangement. Even after this quick visit, I feel drawn into the rhythm of life here. Including (of course) finding myself slipping into the inevitable drawl I always seem to pick up during any down here.

All in all, a highly enjoyable weekend. I am so glad it worked out!

weekendelements

seeing.fondue.hibachi.doggies.toddlers.family.janeausten.loves.
friends.laughter.pictures.freezing.church.worship.dvds.singing.
playing.dancing.cooking.hiking.visiting.shopping.facebookpoking.
catchingup.teaching.listening.giggling.french.coloring.borrowing.
lending.reminiscing.meeting.inviting.encouraging.sharing.enjoying.
notsleeping.reading.telling.solvingtheworldsproblemsfromthecouch.

being.

fun with photobooth

and other madness...

S and I just did a whole series of shots with her macbook. it was a lot of fun....from sad, angry, and crazed to zoolander, mysterious and pensive.

I'll have a lot more to write about, but for now it is bedtime! I've pretty much had about 6 hours of sleep in the last 48...ack!


[edited to reflect that this was posted Central time, meaning 12:56 AM on 1/20/08, thereby fulfilling my 365 reqs. My compy is still set to PST]

Tennessee (Tennesssee...)

(You guys remember that Arrested Development song? Anywho . . . )

A few of the things I'm looking foward to this weekend in TN:
-Playing catch up w/S and her family
-Being back in the South (I do miss it at times - really!)
-PBS Jane Austen (S is the quintessential Austen fan . . . oh yes)
-Mini-Vacation time!
-Sweet tea (can't be down South w/out having it once, ya'll...)
-lots of laughter
-qq conversations en francais (peut-etre!?)
-Hearing other people say "ya'll" (not spoken too much out here)
-live music of some sort

woot!

Friday Fives - Speed Trap

1. Have you ever been pulled over? How many times?
Yes - twice. Once for a "rolling stop" and once for speeding. I only got a ticket for the first one.

2. What are you most likely to be pulled over for? (Speeding? Reckless driving? Expired tags/inspection? Bad signal/headlight?) Probably the aforementioned rolling stops.

3. You're driving along on your merry way when you see a police car. What is your first thought? "Whoops - better slow down!"

4. When you see a cop car, do you hit your brakes or keep your foot on the gas? If I'm on the highway, I just take my foot off the gas or take it off of cruise control (I usually don't slam on my brakes in that situation).

5. What's your personal speed limit? How do you determine what it is for any given road? Where I grew up in CO, the highway speed limit is about 10 mph higher than anywhere near me now in CA. So, I got used to driving 75-85mph on the highway, easily. Now, there's very little opportunity for that - if for nothing else than the usually snarled Bay Area traffic. In city street driving, I probably drive on the faster side of the limit, but not unsafely.

Viva Nash-vegas!!!

I just booked a ticket to Nashville on a last-minute, spur-of-the-moment decision. The stars aligned, my Frontier miles kicked in and having a free place to stay seemed too good to pass up!

I'm headed to the fine Southern state of Tennessee to visit my college roommate. We saw each other briefly one afternoon after Sibling's graduation from Wake Forest (not sure *why* exactly I was in Nashville during that trip to NC...hmmmm....must be getting too old to remember....hahaha).

ANYWAYS. Other than that, we've not been in the same place at the same time since graduation in 2001. And that was a long time ago!! I can't wait!

It will be a trip down memory lane and a wonderful catch-up to present lives. ACK I gotta go pack!!!!

defrost

In December, just before Christmas, I had the - pleasure - of being the D.D. for a carpool of drunken revelers. Included in this entertaining group was a Kiwi and a Brit.

We pull up to a gas station (the empty light's on) and sibling hops out to pump gas.

The pickled (but lovely and nice) Kiwi in the back proceeds to write in the condensation which has gathered on the inside back windshield.

"I <3 U. Pump 'n Pay, Bitch".

It was hilarious at the time.

Fast foward to . . . last week. It's cold, foggy, damp winter weather. I look in my rearview mirror, and what do I see?

Oh yes - pump 'n pay, indeed. I had forgotten about that compeletely. I tried to wipe it out of the window, to no avail. I can still read it. I think I'll have to bust out the windex...but for now, I look in the mirror and crack up. Good times.

train keeps a rollin'

. . . that is what today has felt like. One fire after another to put out at work and no breathing time. Coupled with our alarm going off and having the cops come - that's always fun - and squeeze in trying to plan 8 different things at once. Good times.

ack.

SO...I'm drifting back to a less stressful time. And that time would be yesterday morning on my way to work. Bohemian Rhapsody came on the radio and I turned it way up and sang along. When the song ended, it hit me: I know ALL of the words.

It's the little things . . .

hilarious

Sibling *just* walked in the door with the best blog fodder. EVER.

My own personal DEVO HAT. That's right. The MacWorld party band was none other than the one and only DEVO. And my sweet brother fought off tens of drunken computer genii to bring me a hat.

I am so wearing it to work tomorrow. *Sweet*

precious metals

Make new friends,
but keep the old,
one is silver and the other gold!

(Shout out to my fellow Girlscouts out there - if you were one, you know that song.)

One of my best college friends has proposed a yearly get-together for our little group of four musketeers. We are spread out across the country - one in each time zone, in fact - and rarely get to see each other. In all actuality, probably the next time we'd all four of us get together would be (I'm assuming?) my wedding.
Which . . . well, let's just say that that's further in the future as to be at an as yet undetermined time. Anywho! Three of us have managed to work out a potetial plan via Social Networking Site, and yet the fourth, our Georgia Peach, is M.I.A. (She is not a subscriber to said Social Networking Site).
I just hope it all pans out, because it would be so much fun to get together again with these women who were - and continue to be - such a wonderful part of my life.

motley crew, indeed

The last 10 keyword searches leading to this blog (in random - natch - order):

1. late night laundromat san francisco
2. marrakech whores [oh yeah - that's my favorite one hahahah]
3. The song where the chicken clucks all thru it, and no other singer
4. how do you spell rose in Greek
5. yanni chole
6. "Mr FdC"
7. katharos meaning
8. poems about laundry [Hey AZ, maybe you can help me out with this one...lol]
9. random point of view
10. nicholas sparks random facts

hilarious, the lot.

Surf's Up, Dude

So, yes, we ended up going down to Mavericks this weekend - and it was awesome!
Got down to Half Moon Bay around 9:30pm Friday night and as I rolled into the hotel parking lot, there They Were: blond, blue-eyed skinny surfers...three of them in the lot, clearly ready for the day to come. (lol...it was a running weekend joke that the Queen had dated two of these types of guys, and I never have).
Anyways, I knew I was in the right spot!

We woke up at o'dark thirty to make our way North to the beach. We rolled up by 6:30 and actually found free(!) parking. Loaded with our gear (blankets, picnic, water, binoculars, coats, hats, gloves, etc) we made our way to the so-called shuttle. (There was - supposedly - a shuttle running from the Half Moon Bay airport to the beach site...we never found it). So we made the hike ourselves - and it was beautiful. Watching the sun rise over the bay, making our way up the hill with a hundred some-odd of our "closest friends" felt like we were part of some really-cool, underground event.

Now the think about Mavericks is . . . if you stand on the beach you don't see any of the action. The big waves (read 30-40 footers) break about half and mile out, and if you're standing on the beach, you can't see over the waves breaking on the shore. So, the place to be is high up on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. This is where we were headed. Our path was cold and muddy, but the reward was an amazing view. We picked out our spot, set up camp and waiting for the 8am start time.

And we were not disappointed. I can't believe the waves that these guys tackle - they are HUGE and dangerous! One guy's board snapped in half one of his first times out. Crazy!

We ended up staying there until 2pm (having arrived at 7:30). By that time, most of the biggest waves had already made their appearence. All in all, it was a great time - lots of cool people, big waves and beautiful scenery made for a memorable Saturday. I look foward to going back next year!

I took a few pics - none of them had the big waves, though...! However, you can check out these pictures here from SFGate.

Giggle me Elvis

On my way home from work yesterday, I was listening to KPOO San Francisco 89.5. They were playing Elvis songs and "Are You Lonesome Tonight" came on. Well, about one verse into it, Elvis screws up the words and starts cracking up (it was a live version). Well - that took me off guard and I started laughing, too. He never did recover from his giggles. I've been there man...sometimes, they just get a hold of you and there ain't nothing nobody can do to make them stop!

Anyways . . . his band and backup singers just kept going. They were pros! Every now and then Elvis tried to jump back in, but to no avail. So, when I got home, I just *had* to find that performance online, and sure enough, found it on youtube. It's from a 1969 performance. Enjoy!

Friday Fives - Primary Colors

I like the idea of Friday Fives. Feel free to join the fun!

1. When is the presidential primary in your area?
February 5
2. Do you plan to participate? Have you participated in the past? Yes and Yes (via absentee ballot)
3. Do you identify with a single party or do you consider yourself independent? Has that changed over the years?
I used to consider myself firmly Republican. Now . . . I’m more right down the middle.
4. In your opinion, what are the major issues this year's presidential candidates must address? Which is most important to your vote?
Foreign Policy and Health Care.
5. How do you get your information about candidates at this time of year? What media and messaging impacts your opinion of the candidates the most?
I read my ballot information guide; candidates’ official websites and wash it all down with a dose of Comedy Central for good measure.

Random defined

My friend the Queen and I are going to the Maverick Surf Contest. Well, I *think* we are. We've made our hotel reservations, but the contest has yet to be officially announced. They give people 24 hours notice for the contest, and then all the surfers, musicians for the day and spectators take the bay by storm. Speculation has it that the contest will be on Saturday - and that's what we're banking on . . .

Should be AWESOME!

Band meme

This is funny. I stole it from this milblog here.

1. Random Wikipedia
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. Random Quote
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. Random Flickr
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic. Here is mine:

HBIEDs*

They are not a good thing.

Say an extra prayer for the troops in Baghdad today.

Yum

I found a yummy recipe via this blog here and I thought I would try it out. Feeling inspired by:
A) My free evening;
B) Wanting to use up random stuff in my fridge;
C) My watching of Chefs on the Travel Channel drool

This is what I had already in my kitchen:
Red onion
Green onion
Olive Oil
A few snap peas
Garlic
Brown Rice
Lemon pepper
Dried cranberries
Slivered almonds
Chicken breast (from one of those grocery store rotisserie chickens)
Grated parmesean

What I bought at the store:
Can of butter beans (big, white beans)
Baby carrots
Red Bell pepper

Saute garlic and onions in olive oil; add carrots and bell peppers; add chickpeas and chicken; add cranberries & almonds; add beans, lemon pepper & salt. Serve hot over brown rice, drizzle with a little olive oil and sprinkle with parmesean.

I choose to enjoy dinner with a glass of Ledson's Bellisimo red wine (it was open and only had enough for one glass left). Delicioso. I even took pictures, but I *still* have no idea where my camera's USB cord is...hmmmmm.

20 Minutes

It took me 20 minutes to get the gridlines to appear on a document template today. Perhaps that doesn’t mean anything to you. To me, it represents 20 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

Open template.
WTF? Where are my gridlines?
Borders? No…those show when printing.
Shading? No.
Options? Customize? No and No.
AH! “Show Gridlines!"

Crap. I can’t select that option.
Close document.

Open template.
WTF? Where are my gridlines?
Borders? No…those show when printing. We’ve already been over this.
Online Help. Please. Help would be lovely. As would a shot of…something.

Anything. No help. At all.

Rinse. Repeat three or four times as needed.

Oooh…flash of brilliance coming through!
“Select All”“Show Gridlines!"

Et voila! The waters parted, sun rays shone down on my CRT, and the gridlines appeared in all of their grayish, grid-ish beauty. After two Bachelor’s degrees, one Masters, one artist certificate, three languages, and . . . .20 minutes . . .I had my gridlines.

This is why I appreciate the comic genius of Dilbert and The Office, ladies and gents, because I am one of them.

Maido

I love the Maido Stationery store at the Westfield center. They have beautiful papers, notebooks, supplies, and such, all mostly from Japan. I could spend hours in there.

I went Sunday afternoon to pick up a birthday present for a friend, and yes, ended up with a packet of handmade paper for myself. (You know, to encourage that letter-writing resolution).

Even better, upon checking out, I received a "frequent buyer card"...after enough stamps, I get a discount. I am SO excited. I only wish I were still in school so I had an excuse to go there more often, ha!!

Happy Monday, ya'll!

No Reservations

The new season of No Reservations premieres Monday, January 7.

YAY. I am very much looking forward to seeing Anthony Bourdain once again cross the globe and get himself in (and out) of trouble.

Also - LOST comes back on at the end of January. *sweet*

fridge poetry

In college, I used to keep a journal of all the poems people would write on my little dorm refridgerator with those little word magnets (remember them?)

My grown-up, brushed stainless-steel fridge does not allow for the sticking of magnets (only on the sides does it work), so I have to find my inspiration elsewhere. Last week, when I was throwing out the mass of holiday cards we received at work, I found a few inspiriting gems among them:

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
-Harriet Tubman

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.
-Albert Einstein

hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.
-Emily Dickenson

7-year itch

The classic Marilyn Monroe film The Seven Year Itch deals with the premise that after seven years of marriage, one's spouse may get an 'itch' for his or her old life, as a happy-go-lucky single. It's the one with the famous subway grate dress scene.

I'm not married. BUT my own 7-year mark is rapidly approaching - I've been living in SFO for almost that long now. And I can't help but wonder if the aforementioned 'itch' applies to living situations, and not just marital status. I am wondering this because I have been back from vacation in Colorado for . . . less than a week now, and I am already scouring my 2008 calendar, calculating my hours off, downloading passport renewal paperwork and trying to plan the next time I can go home for a visit, go abroad to see friends, or just go somewhere new stateside.

I'm thinking of starting locally - a trip up to wine country or maybe Monterey over the MLK weekend. In, February, I think a good friend of mine currently abroad will be headed to Denver for a couple weeks, so I might try and coordinate a long-weekend trip home for that time. I would *LOVE* to go to Paris this year. Oh man, I'm missing it a ton. I want to see my "French Grandmother" again before it's too late (she's in her 80s, you never know!). I want to go to Italy and visit the F. Family - and meet their newest addition, baby Clark! I am also ready for a trip back to New Orleans. I've not been since Katrina hit and my family down there had to leave the city. I want to see the changes with my own eyes.

The enormous math problem I have to work out in my brain to make this all work is: 90 hours vacation + paid holiday time x airfare costs + time off between performances / cash = creative traveling. Heck, in 2007 I managed quite a few trips across the globe and back again, so it's not impossible.

Ready. Set. GO!

Link-up and send a prayer

One more plug for Milblogging.com. It seems they linked me up as their entry of the day today since I gave them a shout-out earlier this week.

While I am at it, here are links to some of the blogs they have on their site, which I've found very interesting:

Badgers Forward

From My Position . . . On the Way!

Kaboom, A Soldier's War Journal

Tragically Famous

Blackanthem military news site

I encourage you to read an entry and pray a blessing over the writer!

Sunrise

I took this on my phone after I dropped my dad off at work one morning. It's about a mile from my parents' house, looking towards the Rocky Mountains around 7am. Colorado has beautiful sunrises in the winter - this pic doesn't do it justice - but it was very lovely. Ice-blue sky and snow-covered mountains: one of my favorite sights.

True 'dat

“I did some auditioning [for Sweeny Todd] with other people, and afterward I was completely devastated and exhausted. I felt like I was casting a porno movie. I mean, having people come in to audition and sing was like having them come in and take their clothes off. It felt that exposing. It shocked me.”

-Tim Burton, Esquire Magazine 01 08

Site to check out

Check out Milblogging. It features straight-from-the-Soldier's mouth writing from US Soldiers (active & retired) around the globe.

I've a minor compulsion going right now about reading some of their blogs. I feel like I have ignored (or tried to tune out) news of the Iraq war for so long (due to the mostly negative media here in SF), that now I can't get enough news. Read the accounts and say a prayer for our guys out there.

hp

Am setting up my new compy. And hoping that it doesn't give me fits! Yay!

Starting things off with a bang

2008! Who-hooo!!

I'm sitting on my couch, waiting for the dishwasher to finish so I can put in the last of the dirty dishes. I'm trying to hydrate, only now realizing that I did, indeed, drink more wine and champagne than I had originally intended. I'm hoping the water will counterbalance any headaches to come.

As for resolutions? I'm never really sold on that idea. But, at least one thing I'd like to do this year is to send more handwritten letters. [Full disclosure: I've already kind of started that, seeing as I've been writing to P - who's currently serving in the "Big Sandbox" with the Army.]

Here's to a new year!