Saddening

This is heart-wrenching.

Rest In Peace, Soldiers.

Bark definitely worse than bite

Utility worker kills attacking 2-pound Chihuahua

This might make me a horrible person, but I laughed out loud when I read this story. Threatened by a chihuahua? REALLY?

It reminds me of a story as told by the older brothers of my high school bff. One time they were playing basketball with some neighbors, and the neighbors' chihuahua came outside to run around with the boys. One of the other guys didn't see the dog and, then, well. Let's just say that in chihuahua vs. bouncing basketball, the basketball wins. I should feel sad telling that story, but to this day I can't help but crack up when I think about it - it's just such a crazy story.

update

He was just a kid.

do not try this at home

Vampire stories + nightime tylenol cold medicine = wacked out dreams.

Added bonus? Going to the Symphony after a hit of Afrin and more cold meds only to listen to Ligeti's Lontano. Not my favorite piece of music, but it basically proved to be the perfect soundtrack for my wacked out vampire dreams. Best part? Ligeti's Romanian, of course.

numb-ish

I am numb. More like numb-ish. Numb because I'm having to guard myself from a huge emotional blow...and numb-ish because I know that it is impossible to shield myself from this one and I can already feel the cracks in my armor starting to give way, though they haven't fully broken just yet.

Even though I've not lived there since 1997, when I think of "home" I think of CO. Yes, I think of the physical place, of course, and the mountains and all, but even more so, "home" is represented by people for me. As the saying goes "home is where the heart is," and well, my heart belongs to a great many people back in CO, as do their hearts belong to me. A vast majority of these beloved folks are family friends from my church back there. All of us kids from those families grew up together, and I consider them among my best friends *still* to this day. That church family was instrumental in my upbringing. I learned how to sing there; my piano teacher was the church pianist; I was baptized there; hell, I even learned some not-so-churchy things there (spin-the-bottle, anyone?) NEEDLESS to say, that place and those people represent the "village" in my own personal "it takes a village to raise a child" story.

Well. It seems that that church - and a chunk of my heart - has just imploded upon itself. A possible church-merger went very, very wrong and many feelings have been hurt in the process. The merger itself was not the problem, but the execution of said idea was . . . less than ideal. I fear that, figuratively and literally, families might have been ripped asunder. And this grieves me beyond . . . beyond feeling. Beyond comprehension. This is why I am numb-ish. This is why the tears start to flow and then stop short. This is why I feel like something elemental to me has been irreparably broken. And I don't know what's going to happen. I will probably never, ever be returning to that place again. I know for certain that my parents will not be returning - that's for sure. What I don't want to happen, and what will be very tricky to navigate, is for those ties -those mentors; friends; surrogate families; those people whom I love so dearly - to come unraveled. The ties which have been my . . . home . . . for as long as I can remember.

Everything will be fine with us kiddos. We are spread around the country - hell, around the globe - and have managed to keep up with each other and remain friends despite location, life situation, etc. And the rare happy holiday times when we are all back in CO at the same time have become precious jewels to which I look forward with much anticipation. But, really? I am as much friends with the parents of all of these beautfiul people and other adults in the church as I am friends with the people my age. Call me greedy, but I want those friendships to remain intact. And I will be praying that they do . . . but there will have to be much healing involved.

The damage is such that I can think of a few of the people who came and sat with me at the hospital while my dad underwent open heart surgery - just this last November - might now be sliced away from my parents', and thus, to an extent, my life. Not by my choice, but by the events that have transpired. They've effectively cut themselves out. And it makes me sick...just...SICK to think about.

I am angry. Angry that grown-up, adult people are acting like they are two years old, arguing over a toy truck. Angry that something that did not have to be handled so poorly WAS handled so poorly. And just ... unbelieving and hurt at the whole thing. I want to rip my hair out and shred my clothes and mourn in the Biblical sense.

I don't know. Some of this is just my first gut reactions and spilling of emotion onto the page. But some is not. I really won't know anything more until I go home and see the aftermath for myself, later this year. Right now, I get only a couple versions of what's happening. I just....I don't know. I just feel so ... disgusted. And sad. And broken. And I feel this not just for myself, but for everyone involved. It completely sucks.

let's get political, political

I can't believe Hillary just gave a ... like 30 minute non-concession "concession" speech. Seriously? She needs to just freakin' concede already. Support your colleague and get. Over. It. "She did everything but offer Barack Obama the presidency"...someone on CNN just said that, but I didn't see who it was. HAHAHA.

And I also can't believe I'm listening to a recording of Tina Turner's "Simply the Best" playing during the aftermath of her speech (don't tell my father!)

CNN's saying Obama is the winner of the Democratic nomination...a fact about which I have mixed feelings. Although I'm glad it's going to be him and not Hillary.

I think it's awesome that in my lifetime we have had both an African-American man and a middle-aged woman in the serious running to be the next POTUS. I mean...the 1960's weren't that long ago, really, and I would dare say that if M.L.K., Jr. were still alive today...he'd be proud to see his dreams coming true!

All that being said, I disagree with Obama on some issues (foreign policy, for example). I disagree with McCain on some issues (roe v. wade, for example). And I just don't like Hillary.

Hell....I'm thinking Bob Barr! Anyone?? Bueller...? Bueller...?
It's going to be an interesting few months running up to November...

(Side note: Obama is milking his "victory" speech right now talking about caring for our military....interesting considering he's been ignoring them lately. H/T to Maj C for the link.)

Chip off the old block

Now, this has been floating around on the interwebs for a while - but I just saw it. And it's freakin' hilarious.

WARNING: contains grown-up language.

adventures in klutz

Yesterday, when I got home from work, i walked over to my windows in the living room to read through the mail. I turned suddenly to go get something from the other room and walked straight into my coffee table. I hit my right shin on the corner of the metal and glass table and pitched - hands first - onto the glass table. I thought I was going to crash through the table and slice up my arms, face, head...everything.

But praise the LORD, for I did not crash through! I guess my hands were far enough apart, and mostly over the metal frame of the table, to keep me from crashing through the table.

Today my wrists are *very* sore. I've been icing them. And I have a huge, nasty bruise forming on my leg, along with a cut. It is very sore, too.

*sigh* Madame Grace strikes again.

I don't know's on third

been runnin' in circles, conversationally speaking . . .

FRIDAY NIGHT
A: Hey, [MezzoSF], when do you get home?
Me: Tonight, late
A: So, hey, J and T and I are going up skiing Sunday...but we were thinking why don't you and your brother and G join us and we'll go up Saturday afternoon, get up there, have dinner, chill out catch up etc etc. Then the three of you non-skiiers can go home early Sunday to beat the traffic.
Me: uh...okay. That would be fun, but I have to clear it with my parents. My dad's working all week (yeah - that's another story), so his only time off is the weekend.
A: OK call me ASAP when you know.
Me: I'm getting on a plane in like 20 minutes. I'll call you in the morning.
A: OK, but ASAP. G's going is contingent on you going.

SATURDAY MORNING
ME: Okay, I'm in but Will is not.
A: Okay - let me call you back after yoga and after I talk to J.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON
A: uh, well, J & G weren't as committed as I thought. So they're not going. T and I might still go.
Me: Oh. okay. Well. Are we still on for karaoke tomorrow with everyone?
A: I already made plans for tomorrow - no one told me about karaoke. So, if I get out of dinner early, then sure. Call T and ask him.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON, part deux
Me: Hey, are we still karaokeing tomorrow with the gang? Since the mountains are not happening and all?
T: What? I didn't know that fell through.
Me: Oh. Well you better call A and talk to him about it and then call me back.

5 MINUTES LATER
T: Yeah okay yeah we're not going to the mountains. So yeah, karaoke's still on. Let's meet at my house at 5pm and then go to dinner and karaoke
Me: Okay fine.

3 HOURS LATER
T (via voice mail): So, yeah, A and are I still going skiing on Sunday. So...we should be back and ready to go by 6. So...come on over for 6pm.


ACK. I can't wait to see what chaos Sunday brings!