One of the reasons 2006 has been interesting, has been that I am re-connecting with a lot of my colleagues from SFCM. I kinda fell out of that loop for a while . . . somewhat on purpose, but also just because of how life goes.

Anyways, I posted a little about this before, but since them God has really been talking to me about not being concerned with earthly judgements; for ultimately, He knows me and judges my heart.

Rather than being concerned with what poeple think of me, my professional "aspirations", my extracurricular activities, or my day-job . . . what really matters is what are my motives for all of these things? And even more, how harshly do I judge myself on these same things? There is a difference between living righteously and living in a perfectionistic manner. Is my life, are my choices, pleasing to God? Do I worship Him in everything I do? What fruits of the Spirit are evident in my life?

One passage that has been powerful to me this week is 1 Cor. 4:1-5

So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

Thanks be to God . . .

Update! updated...

The last 24-hours have been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm thoroughly drained.

But, a quick update:

I spoke to Will this afternoon and found out that the the spinal tap was negative, meaning there is no bleeding going on in his brain. He has to see a neurologist this week and get some more tests run to see if they can't figure out what is causing these pains. He was in high spirits, about to watch the superbowl, though I know he was tired and in pain from where they did the tap. (It took them 3 tries!!! OUCH!!!).

And, because I'm his sister, and I can get away with it, I think I'll send him this movie for his birthday next week. Hey, laughter's the best medicine, right?

Brokeback to the Future

Stolen from Jen. Thanks, J, for the much needed comic relief.


Whew. And now I'm going to take a nap. Go Broncos! Man...just as long as the Steelers get their butt kicked, I'm happy.

Sibling! update

Will is okay right now. They sent him home from the ER, and we're now just waiting for the results of his spinal tap, which takes about 24 hours to process. My parents spoke to him at some point last night, and he was in high spirits, which is good. Please continue to pray for him, that the docs would figure out what is going on...thanks.

Sibling!

Please pray for Will. He turns 24 in 11 days. I just found out that he's in the hospital, for reasons that are yet unknown.



<------See how smiley he is? :)




Please pray that the doctor's would figure out what's wrong. Pray for his girlfriend, Shanna, as she is waiting there with him. I pray that this would bring them both closer to God - as Will has kind of wandered off the path for several years, and Shanna is not a practicing believer, either.

Please pray for my parents. They are not well. My dad deals with severe stress by becoming angry and pissy with my mom. My mom is freaking out, because, well, this is her Baby Boy.

I'm . . . well, the shock is starting to wear off. And, now I must turn to God and ask for miracles, and focus on the positive. If I stop to contemplate the alternative...I just can't even go there...Thank you for your prayers.

Check this out

One of my oldest and dearest friends from UHBC sent this out. It will drive you crazy, but it is still really fun. And *really* satisfying when you get one of the harder answers.

I got 30/33. That means I'm a *genius* :)

We'll call this the Mad Skillz test.

And, for your brain-twisting pleasure, here is part two of the Mad Skillz test which I'm currently working on . . .

priere / prayer

que Dieu te benit...il te montrera ton chemin...mais c n'est pas a dire que le chemin sera facile. oh la, si j'aurais la puissance....mais c seulement Dieu qui va te proteger, qui va te diriger. La priere que j'ai pour toi est celle ci: que tu sois rempli avec joie - la joie de Dieu - et que tu sentirais le vrai amour divin. Et que les blesses des anness passees...donc que celles sont passees, et que tu pourrais sentir que t'es merveilleusement fait a l'image de Dieu, et qu'il ne laisse pas ses enfants vivre sans but. oh mon cheri, tous ces choses et de plus...mais peut-etre surtout, que tu saurais et sentirais que ton Pere s'inquiete de toi. -ecrit completement d'amour et du soin, K

that God blesses you....he shall show you your path, but that is not to say that the path shall be easy. oh la...if i had the power....but it's only God who is going to protect you, and manage you. The prayer I have for you is this: that you would be filled with joy - joy from God - and that you would feel His truly divine love. and that the wounds of the past, that they are past, and that you could feel that you are wonderfully made in His image, and that He does not let his children live without purpose. oh my dear, all of this and more - but, perhaps, above all, that you would know and feel that your Father cares about you. -written full of love and care, K

I am *feeling*

at a level where words cannot do justice to express exactly what or how I'm feeling.




While a bit frustrating, it's not a bad thing . . .

Short February observations* (Rated at least PG-13 for you sensitive readers)

It's the first of February.

I walk to the grocery store before heading out to meet Alan for our trek to Berkeley.

I enter the front doors and *whoosh* I am blinded by an enormous mish-mash of pink, red, and white. Plastic, paper and glitter cascading down the shelves, forming a mass of cupids, hearts and lip-prints. Holiday marketing at its best. But, the part that stuck out the most - which actually made me chuckle out loud as I continued further into the store - was the ginormous chapstick display. There were about 30 different flavors of chapstick prominently displayed in a free-standing, pink, cardboard shelf unit. I guess there's an increase of chapped lips to be expected between now and February 15. It just cracked me up, though.

And, in complete contrast . . . at the opera this evening, as were we loitering around the lobby during intermission, I noticed yet another free-standing shelf unit. No chapstick this time, but flyers, rather. Free flyers for upcoming events in and around Berkeley. I literally stopped in mid-sentence when I read: International Clitoris Celebration. (Hyperlink purposefully left off). My first thought? "Hmmmm, maybe it's some sort of protest against various groups/cultures which persist in practicing female genital mutilation as a means of abuse and/or control of women".

Nope. Just a day for well...I stopped reading and gave the flyer to Alan. But you get the gist. Only in Berkeley, ladies and gentlemen. And so continues my love-hate relationship with the People's Republic.

Finally, in perhaps what could be called a real tribute to everyone's favorite holiday between MLK Jr. and Presidents' Day: a quote from this evening's opera, Verdi's Falstaff.

Bocca baciata non perde ventura
Anzi rinnova come fa la luna

Now, where's my chapstick? ;)

Je vais au lit en cinq...

mais, a ce moment je voudrais penser/reflechir un peu en francais parce que demain, je parlerai avec Raeeka pour une heure, en francais. Elle a une audition en france en ...deux semaines, je pense, et elle m'a demande' de lui aider un peu.

pff...il ya trop de temps depuis que j'avais parle' francais avec une autre personne. bah, c pas la meme qu'avec un vrai francais..mais....ca va

euuuhhhhh peut-etre je trouverai un autre cours a l'alliance francais pendant l'ete. ca sera impossible avant ca, je pense...mais je me commence a trouver en moi meme qu'il existe un......bon, qu'il me manque qqchose.....pour la plus part, je suis si heureuse, mais j'ai envie de rattraper la capacite de parler plus come avant...

de plus...je dois une idee' pour mardi en quinze...je dois reflechir un peu plus...

bon ca fait 5 minutes....bonne nuit et bons reves a vous tous: mes amis que j'aime sans reservations ni conditions; et quand meme les etrangers qui cherchent un peu d'amitie' aussi . . .

Today was nuts *rant* alert

I hate bugs. Of all kinds. I really passionately dislike spiders. I don't mind killing bugs, but spiders creep me out.

All this to set-up the fact that one of today's joys at work included bugs. We have some sort of infestation of these annoying , tiny, little black bugs. I start thinking about them and it just...ick.

Another thing: stupid people at the freaking USPS. I was determined to reach them today, and after seven attempts in a row (letting the phone ring until it clicked off automatically - say 50 rings or so), someone *actually* answered the phone. We've been trying to reach them for four days! If they're understaffed.....for crying out loud HIRE MORE PEOPLE. Can't our federal government work this out...? Won't it ultimately keep more folks - on both sides of the counter - from going *postal*?!?!

arrggh. And PLEASE, for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS SANE, hire people with communication skills. Is that really so terribly difficult?!?! Please be able to handle a conversation over the phone which makes sense. Now...I'm a patient person...usually...but today my patience was just worn thin.

And then sitting in a meeting with two of my coworkers for another reason (renovation drama)...I love these people, I do. They are good women, easy to work with, fun, caring, hard workers etc etc etc...but they were just talking at each other for a good 10 minutes. They were totally miscommunicating, and it was very frustrating to be in the middle of that. I don't mind being a moderator, but let me get a word in edgewise, people, or else that defeats the purpose of moderating.

AND, if you ask me to help clean out your office, don't sit there and tell me the backstory about every. single. file. in. your. drawers. Just tell me whether or not I can throw it out, relabel it or send it away. Pile on hormones on top of this nonsense, and you get a picture of my day.


ARGH. I need some loud-ass music right now. And dancing. And sweat. And Will Farrell telling me to do 8 more reps.

ESFJ

But, just barely over the line on the "E" part . . .

What are you?



(and, why am I still awake?!?)

party redux

So...reflections on the party last night. It was a great party. But I also realize that I have fallen, somewhat, out of the Conservatory/opera loop. Not that that is a bad thing, necessarily, but I'm also just out-of-touch with some people I used to be a little closer with - socially and professionally speaking. There was more than one occasion last night when I found myself "justifying" my life to people. "Justify" in the sense of, what I'm doing, since I'm not in any productions right now.

At one point, a singer friend of mine, P, called me out on it and said "You don't have to give me a progress report. I was just asking how are you doing?". And my reply to that was "Wow. You're right...but I just find myself in crowds of singers feeling this need to explain myself...defend my life." Which is ridiculous...why should I feel that way? Especially when I'm happy and enjoying my life - I shouldn't have to "justify" that. Not that life is perfect (it never is) but, I am joyful and God is good. And, it was weird to be amoung people I spent so much time with just a couple years ago, but to feel like a stranger amoung them at the same time.

Part of it, I know, stems from the fact that I am different. I would bet my right arm that I was one of only a couple - if not the only one - Christians there last night. And, as such, my priorities are (or, should be) different. I mean, for a singer, to not be singing anywhere - - - it's like...."what's the point in living?". Seriously. I have several friends/acquantainces for whom that is how they live their life, and it makes me sad.

Which is why I only stayed a couple hours. For, as much as I love these people - and, I do love them - after that amount of time I was ready to go home. I could only handle so much "singer-speak" last night, and while I did get to meet some cool new people, small-talk after midnight is not my strongest point.

I am, however, excited to reconnect with Kiki - we've not hung out in a while, and she is someone for whom I have always really....just had a heart. As she was hostess, I didn't get a big chance to talk with her, so we're (hopefully) going out tomorrow. And, I also hope we get to go jump the fire again this year.

Oh. And another random thing, I just remembered! Last week, I went out with The Queen for a late night catch-up session. We hadn't sat and talked in a while and it was really good to see her. So, we're talking, and out of the blue she's like..."I have to ask you....there is some gossip going around about you." I was like "what??!!". Come to find out that a mutual singer friend had asked her "Why is MezzoSF giving up singing?"

Me: "WTF..?"

The Queen: "Well...she said she a Certain Peruvian Tenor (CPT) told her that you weren't singing anymore or something..."

Me: "hmmmmmmm...interesting...."

I would venture to say that CPT and I are actually friends now, and I had the chance to call him out on this over the phone. His response was, "Actually, what I said was that you hadn't seen your teacher in a while." At the time, this was true, I hadn't had a lesson in about a month and a half. But, I had had a decent amount of gigs over the last couple monts. Whatever. CPT followed this up with "You know...I'm going to tell [that girl] some made up story about myself and see how long it takes to get around."

This is how rumors get started, people. Not good. I am pretty laid back...but the whole thing pissed me off. I got over it, but still...*grrr*.

Musical Meanderings and Drag Queens

It's been a great weekend - with a great soundtrack.

My man Steven Tyler kicked off the weekend for AZ and I as we cruised over the Bay Bridge to Oakland. And Aerosmith kept us going as we got lost and had to turn around. And got lost and had to turn back around. And as we finally pulled up to The Uptown to hear our friends M.O.V.E. tear it up. They were really good - and I'm not just saying that because they're my friends, too. Even though the crowd started off small, they gave us a good show. My particular favorite of the night was "Hero Factor"...Kenny O's got some mad crazy stage presence!

The next band up after M.O.V.E. was Metrovox. They looked like aging 70s rockers, but they sounded good...like they had been playing together since the 70s, and it was just second nature to play together.

Spent a relaxed Saturday morning and early afternoon with DGS, watching crazy home-made movies from back in the day, playing games, and listening to Weird Al parodies. I'll admit that it's been years since I listened to Weird Al - Will had some of his CD's - but the man is talented. I would love to see/hear a head-to-head parody competition between Weird Al and Eminem. I don't think the world is ready for that - it might just be the cause of WWIII.

Later Saturday we went to hear Erica's violin recital. She played Brahms, Bach, Ravel, and some traditional Brazilian folk tunes. She played beautifully, and it was nice to hear her and see some folks from the SFCM that I hadn't seen in a while.

Post-recital, Dennis and I walked up to The Mint Karaoke Lounge and met up with AZ, Alan and AW for some serious karaoke fun. We arrived just in time to get our songs in before it got NUTS (lots of private parties last night). AZ and I started with some Bon Jovi (we got flames!); Alan tried out some new Queen, and DGS rocked out to REM ("Leonard Bernstein")!

As the night continued, the lounge got more and more packed - great energy from the audience. Our follow up songs ran the gamut: J. Lo, Dusty Springfield, Whitesnake, and (of course) Journey. If I do say so myself, our little group kicked some serious karoke-butt.

After the karaoke spree, our little group disbanded. DGS and I went back to my house to see one last home short before he had to make the trek back to the 9-1-6. I was a little tired, but fueled by the diet coke's from the lounge, I decided to swing by kiki's house party in the marina for a little bit, as I had not seen her nor some of my other opera-folk in a while. As I walked down Lombard and turned onto Octavia, I could hear the singing coming from her house.

The inside was packed: equal parts opera singers and Persians. I arrived in the midst of the singing - which is what inevitably happens when opera singers all get together. Around midnight, our amazing friend and pianist K begged off the bench (she'd been there quite a while), and then the Persian contingent took over. Playing drums and singing in Farsi...and, of course, there was much dancing! It was very cool. Eventually, salsa was put on the stereo, and I got a couple of dances in with Momo, before finally leaving around 1am.

----

Sunday morning was spent at......Beside Baptist. Otherwise known as Our Lady of the Sheets. I needed some sleep, I think. I need to be better about my bedtime during the week...as right now, I am too dependent on my morning coffee.

I spoke to my parents today. They went to see Dame Edna last night. If you don't know, Dame Edna is really comedian Barry Humphries' drag alter ego. I've never seen a show, but I believe there is singing and dancing involved...and comedy, of course. Wellll........my parents happened to be sitting in the front row. Next to the stage stairs. Apparently, Dame Edna comes on stage, and down into the audience to get some "volunteers". Whom should she choose? None but our own Sally D.

Mom had to get up on stage with three other "volunteers" and act out a skit, for about 30 minutes. They gave her script, slapped on a hat, a chenille bathrobe and placed her in a wheelchair, and *voila* she became Dame Edna's mother. I would've given anything to see my father's face throughout this ordeal. He was probably peeing in his pants. hahhahaahhahha.

Today at work, I . . .

[x] left a ridiculously rambling phone message

[x] laughed so hard, I cried

[x] thought my boss was going to keel over from lack of O2

[x] got a new toothbrush (purple!)

[x] got a new eyeglasses screwdriver

[x] had the best chicken salad sandwhich ever

[x] thought someone had stolen some checks

[x] realized we are no where NEAR ready for our move/renovations

[x] was asked to return a bogus candybar for my boss (but the deli had closed already)

[x] got a phone call from Hawaii!

[x] worked

[x] got free samples of coffee to take home

[x] laughed at a co-worker, who was sleeping sitting up at his desk

[x] was stuck in a dark room with no lights

In keeping with our

Chuck Norris theme from last week, behold this tribute to the Young Chuck Norris.

I love the internet! (Again, my thanks to the inimitable Davezilla.)

Ach...those crazy, singing, baywatch german folk

David Hasselhoff.


I. Am. Completely. Speechless.



(link thanks to Davezilla)

Where is Anne Geddes when you need her?

I would like to preface this by saying that the game Puerto Rico *rocks*. For all of you Settlers of Catan fans (and by 'fans', I mean you, AZ) out there, this is right up your alley!

I spent a lovely day in Fremont on Saturday. (Contrary to popular belief "lovely day" and "Fremont" are not necessarily mutually exclusive). DGS invited me to attend a birthday party with him; one of his college friends was turning 30! Yay!

So, BARTing down to the end of the line, listening to Johnny Cash and Extreme on my iPod, I nodded off a little bit. As is the norm on BART. But, there was this woman who boarded around Powell station, and she had her little daughter with her. She was about 2, I guess. And she was just as cute as a button...talking to everyone, dancing on the seat, smiling. The old man in front of me stuck up a funny little conversation with her, and was teaching her to make peace signs. Well, her mom didn't really fancy that too much, and eventually they moved. (When they finally disembarked, the old man said "Listen to your mother, and never, ever, talk to strangers!")

Anyways...I'll come back to the BART portion.

The party was very fun...lots of games were played (I was a winner!) and good food. Granted, I didn't know anyone really, but nonetheless, this was a nice group of people and it was cool to see them interact and catch up after being apart for a while.

Now, the title of this post has to do with the fact that:
A) Almost everyone at the party was in a 'couple' and
B) Three of them (married) had babies. One-year-olds or younger!

The babies were precious...all of them, absolutely adorable. But, it was a little overwhelming to be surrounded by babies and moms and talks of lactating etc etc...because most of my friends do not have kids (yet). I was at the young-er end of the age spectrum on Saturday, and it was like a completely different world. Someone said to me that "when one is married, you feel about 5 years older than your single friends." I'm inclined to say that "when one is single, you feel about 5 universes removed from your friends with kids."

So...back to the BART, with the mom and her little daughter. Kids are a big responsibility, man! Keeping track of a little one while commuting, carrying different things, going here and there - life is no longer all about "me:"...you've a little person completely dependent on you for their every need.

I like to take care of the people in my life...sometimes to the point that I neglect myself, it seems. In high school, people starting commenting that "some day, you're going to be a good mother"....but wow....I am not near that point right now - I'm just too selfish. And, quite frankly, I'm fine with that - I like being able to do whatever, whenever. Ask me in another five years or so, and we'll see what the ole biological clock has to say. But, for now, the alarm is on silent (much to Sally D's chagrin, I'm thinking - however, my brother and I BOTH have told her that she's just going to have to hang around for a while!)

Anyways. Right now, I'm content being "auntie" to baby Jonathan and baby Kaylia (who is supposed to be born in a couple weeks). I get to spoil them with love, without all of the day-to-day dirty diapers! I'm cool with that . . .

I *heart* . . .

CSI: Las Vegas. I am watching the episodes I taped on Thursday right now.


I DO NOT HEART - AT ALL - the Pittsburg Steelers. They suck. :(


I *heart* Benise, whose PBS program cheered me up and made me laugh after the tragedy of defeat this afternoon.



I STILL do not heart - not in the least - the Pittsburg Steelers.


I *heart* Amoeba. I *heart* even more that in February, The Gypsy Caravan Tour is happening!

5 A.M.

Phone rings. Three times. Waking our heroine from a deep, actually dream-filled, sleep.

K: [whispers] "hello?"

Mystery Caller X: "Mooshi Mooshi! aldkjaoeij ao;weijr aoweiru oaweirhoawierhoawieh..."

K: [thinks to self: self...you do not speak Japanese] "Wrong number..."

[click, roll over, snuggle back into covers]
---------------
6:30 A.M.
R turns the dryer on. [squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek goes the closet door]
[rolls over, returns to sleep-like state]
---------------
7:50 A.M.
***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** [fumbles for button...click]
---------------
8:15 A.M.
[thinks to self: Crap. I was just dreaming that I had already gotten up and ready for work. Now, I am running late...]

The little pleasures of html

I got so excited about learning how to do a strikethrough that I peed my pants had to write about it!!

My many thanks to Math Jedi...!!!!

see the stone set in your eyes

You know that just....primal.... yell Bono lets loose in "With or Without You"....?

I love that. It's so meaningful...it's not a yelp of anger, it's one of .... well, it's hard to describe, which is why I think Bono chose to insert that, instead of having more words.

For me, I've always felt that the man (or woman, as the case may be) saying those lyrics is just so torn in their situation that they can't go back and forth about it anymore, and all that is left to be expressed is

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"!!

A release of inner emotional tension, perhaps.
The desire to communicate that which words fail to do so.

That's what I feel like sometimes - just tongue tied. Which is weird, because I'm one of those people that tends to NOT be able to hide what's going on in my head - my face gives a lot away. But then again, I've never been especially good with the spoken word. It's a little *hard* for me to be one-on-one and just come out and bare my soul.

I've come a long way as I've gotten older. I care less what other people think, and will just blurt out things without necessarily filtering them first.

It's not just me, though. I would venture to say that it's hard for most people to be open and vulnerable with one another. It takes trust and faith that the person listening will not just turn away and start laughing, or abandon you, or hurt you. There is a lot of jadedness in our society, too, which just inhibits open communication even more. I thank God every day that there are people in my life with whom I can just be myself and be open. But, I still find myself wanting to hide in my shell, sometimes.

All this...um...overthinking?...was prompted by my day off. I was floating along happily in my day off. I think I stayed in my pj's until....oh, 2pm. L-A-Z-Y. All I had to do was go to a 4pm appointment, and that ended up not happening.

And then I started thinking about how I wasted my day.

And what I really wanted to do today was drive down to the 8-3-1 and spend the day with a certain *deer* man.

And I was frustrated, because I didn't plan - or even talk about - a trip. I think I was scared to come out and say "Hey, you know what? I want to come see you." And, that is just...dumb...on my part. I ended up telling him, anyways, in a very rambling sort of way, and he was gracious enough to let me finish my ramblings without telling me that I was completely out of my gourd. :)

Anyways. You know how there are all those self-help books out there? I bet that that industry would just all go to pot if eveyone started being honest with each other and stopped caring so much about their image/egos/whathaveyou. With all the "social protocols" and "rules" these days, it's a wonder more people aren't nuts trying to follow them all.

Praise the LORD that He just takes us as-is, you know?

:/

I can't sleep. I'm insomniac-ing.

Which is funny, because earlier today, I was so punchy and tired that I literally fell on the floor and was laughing my ass off. ROFLMAO. For real.

I was laughing so hard, I had to run and get my inhaler, because I was starting to have really bad asthma. It was great. Good times.

Skeeball rocks

I had a great day. Truly a great Saturday!
Went to "Will Farrells" dance class this morning, and was not disappointed by our fearless leader, who always seems to be doing his best Will Farell impression, if Will Farell played the role of an aging, gay, white, hip hop dancer . . . (oh, and he's written some music too, the most memorable of which is called "Sex Train". That was our cool-down song).

After class, I went home and got ready for the rest of the day. Tonight was CY's birthday party at the Dave & Buster's in Milpitas, but I went down early to meet DGS at *$'s at the Great Mall. I actually got there around 4, so I could get a present for CY. I hadn't been to a Mills Mall in a while, and it was all very overwhelming. Until, of course, I noticed one of the electronics stores was broadcasting the football playoffs. Then I was okay with it all.

I met DGS around 5, and we played a couple of really fun games. The first one pretty much was all strategy, and I lost. Both times. But the second game was quite close (!). Then, we played a game based on his comic, Cow Chip and Lance, which is almost pure luck. I won! Go figure . . .

Post *$, we headed to D&B to put our name in for a table (which ended up being a 2.5 hour wait!), and play some games while we waited on the gang. I haven't played Skeeball in AGES...and let me tell you, I was not disappointed. Ooooohhhh good times. We played skeeball, air hockey, a trivia game, ms. pac-man, donkey kong jr., raced horses and shot shotguns at the old west shooting gallery. At the end of the night, you turn in your tickets for prizes. I had enough for a hacky-sack. DGS had enough for a yo-yo (girls like guys with skills) and a soft football.

It was a great night. We ended up leaving shortly after midnight. Whew. The drive home was decent, although I did miss the 101-North cutoff and had to circle back around. No big deal. I was happily wide awake . . .

Some highlights from tonight:
1. Learning new games!!!!!
2. The Broncos beating the Patriots!!!!!
3. Skeeball!!!!!
4. Celebrating CY's bday, she rocks!!!!!
5. Singing along to U2 in the car with DGS!!!!!


[side note: I totally have the hiccoughs right now! Ack! Not good when trying to sleep!!]

7's survey

I've been tagged by mathjedi

Seven Things To Do Before I Die
1. Travel anywhere south of the border (I can't believe I've not yet been to Mexico, even!)
2. Sing Wagner really well
3. Take a "family roots" tour of Louisiana with my parents, photographing their memories, and recording their stories
4. See the Grand Canyon
5. Get married
6. Really learn spanish. And portuguese. And German.
7. Spend time in France and Italy

Seven Things I Cannot Do
1. The Running Man
2. Drive a stick shift
3. Cheer for the Raiders
4. Watch/see/hear anything to do with E.T. (freaks me out!)
5. Stop singing
6. Stop learning
7. Do the limbo

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. "Dude"
2. "What's your damage?"
3. "Are you kidding me?" (usually spoken at inanimate, techno-type objects)
4. "That's funny"
5. "Sweet"
6. "Ciao"
7. "wow"

Seven Things That Attract Me To People (in general)
1. sense of humor (goofy, sarcastic, dry, silly, dorky, whatever...just being able to laugh at life - it's too short to be serious all of the time)
2. generous (with themselves, time, resources...whathaveyou)
3. honesty (with themselves, with others...ie: not a poser)
4. passionate about something in life - whatever that may be
5. smarts/intelligence
6. musical ability/good rhythm (always impressive!)
7. and, I have to add one in about men: tall(-er than me...does that make me shallow?)

Seven Books (Or Series) That I like a lot:
1. The Outlander Series, Diana Gabaldon
2. LOTR, J.R.R. Tolkein
3. Le Petit Prince, Antoine de St-Exupery
4. Travel books (Bill Bryson et al)
5. Linguistic books (language history, etc)
6. Dean Koontz novels
7. I used to LOVE reading the World Book Encyclopedia when I was growing up. If I had a set, I still would.

Seven Movies I Can Watch Over And Over
1. Star Wars (any)
2. The Godfather trilogy
3. A Knight's Tale
4. Anything with Johnny Depp
5. Monty Python's Holy Grail
6. The Princess Bride
7. Dance with Me

Seven Places I'd Rather Be
1. hanging out with any of you
2. in my bed with a good book & a mug of tea
3. South of France
4. Concert
5. North Carolina w/mon frere
6. Tonight's AFC Championship game (Go Broncos!)
7. Milpitas (ha ha ha I have my reasons lol)

Seven Favorite Bands (Artists, Groups, Whatever)
1. U2
2. Marc Anthony (en espanol)
3. Pink Martini
4. The Beatles
5. Aerosmith
6. Bon Jovi
7. Any salsa music, en general

Seven People I Want To Join In On This
1. AZ
2. Sandra
3. Jen
4. Raina
5. Blackbird
6. Sally
7. Whomever!

Warning:

This site might just make you pee your pants.

Chuck Norris Facts.

Enjoy. But heed the warning . . .

For the light-colored-khaki-pants-clad-bike-riding

business man I followed into work yesterday, I just have two words:


Butt. Sweat.

Las Palmas Doradas

So, remember this concert I went to with my friend JG?

Well, this evening in salsa class, I reached a new milestone. Never in my 26.5 years (exactly), have I ever received a piece of jewelry from a man outside of my father or brother. Until tonight.

This is how it works. JG, is great. A great dancer, great personality, and just a fun guy. He and I and AZ and Jaime and others all just have a great time in class and going out to the occasional salsa club. We are all friends, but the thing is, JG has a crush on me. I know, and have known for a while.

But, I'm not going to start dating him - there is just no interest on my part to be with him *that* way. And, he is enough of a gentleman, that he never oversteps our boundaries of friendship. So, all that said...

After class, we are talking and he tells me he has a Christmas gift for me. I was shocked, and was like, but JG, I don't have anything for you! And he replied "No, no, no....I wanted to give you something to thank you for being my friend...you are such a good person and Feliz Navidad."

He hands me a small gold box.

Inside, a gold necklace, of my name spelled (the right way!) in cursive lettering, with little golden palm trees.

What! Wow...I was literally speechless. I mean, it is such a thoughtful gift, I didn't know what to say. I did manage to say thank you, and was very gracious and all. I just ... wow. Blew me away.

So. Later, in the car with AZ, I decided that this shall now be the Salsa Necklace. If there is salsa dancing involved, las palmas doradas shall now be the accessory of choice!

I love movie previews

I do. I love seeing previews - a glimpse of what's to come! X-men 3, for example! Hooray!

Before the previews, as you know, there are little entertaining games, trivia, ads, and then commercials. After guessing which actor said "I'll be back" and about 3 times, one's attentions starts to drift, and by the time the commercials roll around, the anticipation is killer! So, I do what almost every other, normal, movie-going person does. I talk. I talk with my friends during the pre-entertainment entertainment and I talk during the commercials. As soon as the previews start, I'll shut-up. No big deal, right?

Right.

Except for yesterday. Post wine-country, Tyler and I decided to see "Walk the Line" (which was so amazing, I can't even tell you). Anyways. We get to the theater early enough, and have a good 15 minutes to sit and watch the trivia on the screen.
I call my mom back, quickly, and then Tyler and I are just sitting there, talking. Now, we can be loud, I'll admit, but we really were using our "indoor voices", and were both relaxed and low-key after our Sonoma adventures.

As anyone with long legs will attest, movie theaters can be tricky. I usually make the effort to not kick the person in front of me, but I accidentally hit the back of the chair of the woman directly in front of me and to my left. I apologized, and, in a jokey, but NICE manner, told her, "Don't worry, I won't kick your chair throughout the movie."

That was that.

About three minutes later (not EVEN to the previews, yet), she and her partner, glare back at me and Tyler and say "You're not going to talk throughout the whole movie, either, right?"

HUH?

ME: "um, no..." (*quizzical look on face*)

Tyler and I looked at each other, like, "what did we do?" and started giggling, of course.

About 30 seconds later, the women stood up and moved one row down. It was just a funny incident.

First week of 2006

It's been a good week. There was a rough patch here or there, but all-in-all, 2006 is off to a great start.

Highlights:

- New Year's Party!

- Driving down to Monterey on Monday to go to the aquarium with Dennis. With sting-rays to pet, beautiful vistas and good conversation, what's not to like?

- Getting back to salsa class on Tuesday. I hadn't seen Jaime in a long time, and it was good to get back in the *groove* of things.

- Friday night workout/dinner/movie with AZ. We saw Match Point, which was very interesting.

-Saturday sleeping in a little, followed by dance aerobics with a Will Ferrell-esque instructor, getting to reconnect with my roomie (hadn't really seen each other in a while), dinner with Dennis at the best pizza place in town, followed by Ruben's concert at the Bazaar Cafe.

-Sunday will bring my first worship service of 2006, and then a trip up to Sonoma with Tyler, to pick up some wine. (Hopefully, it will not be raining!)

Thanks for the love, y'all

Just want to say thank you for
1. Wow. Actually reading my rant
2. Giving me some words of encouragement the last couple of days (in person or online)


They are much appreciated, and do not go unnoticed. Much love right back!


Now back to our regularly scheduled program . . .

Must've been a slow news day in SF

But I love that C-3PO was on the cover of today's Datebook section.

Pardon my French*

*you've been warned*



I woke up this morning exhausted. And I went to bed early. And while it has been a good day, I've had this feeling of dread just niggling at me...

Were I not a spiritually-minded person, I would venture to say that it's only just the post-holiday slump, which most of us go into during the, um, post-holiday season.

But fuck that. I believe---I know---that it IS spiritual in part. I should have seen it coming. I resolve to get on the right track with God, and *splat* the "what if's" have been flung full force at me. Literally overnight. I went to bed in a cloud of prayer and full of the Word and Spirit. Fast foward to my drive home from work, during which I almost started crying. And it's SO not PMS. I have heavy things on my mind and heart - which is fine - but they shouldn't just overwhelm me so suddenly, right?

I need to get these out:

What if mom ends up with open heart surgery this month? She doesn't do well with surgeries, and in all honesty, she might not make it. I am worried about her, whether she makes it through or not! This snowballs into worry for my father - in both cases - and worry for their relationship...they are on SUCH different levels. He's almost more of a caretaker than a husband, it seems, from my perspective. But I'm not them. Satan get thee back!

What if I succeed as a singer? What if I don't? What's keeping me from really pursuing this...fear of success or fear of failure? Or truly just that I don't want to do it? Or what? And why the hell am I doubting myself so much. Satan get thee back!

Why the hell do I have an email from a particular person asking me about my love life?? It's none of his damn business - he's just jealous, I guess. Satan get thee back!

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN PRETENDING TO TRY?" are the words I felt hitting me on my drive home from work. "FUCK YOU...FUCK THE WHAT IFS" is what I mutter under my breath at that lie. Satan get thee back.

I can choose to give in. Or I can choose to fight. I choose the latter.

"...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one" (Eph. 6:16). And I imagine my shield to be like that of Peter Pevensie...with a large Lion on it. A tangible object for me to visualize for this spiritual battle.

Rose Bowl

So, it's January 4th, Rose Bowl Wednesday, and I find myself - game on in the background - a bit contemplative as I read emails from various friends, and muse over what I have to do, want to do, need to do and should do in 2006.

I fear I might be getting back into a 'music rut'. Just two months ago, I was so gung-ho about putting a recital together for March, and now I'm just so-so about it. I don't know what my deal is. One area of life starts coming together, while another one starts slacking off. It's like I'm a "Sim" version of myself. My employement meter goes up, while my creative meter goes down. Or, relationship meter suffers, while professional endeavors soar. I suppose this happens to everyone, but I always feel like I am letting folks down when it happens in my life. And by folks, I guess I mean my parents, music mentors, and, to some extent even some friends.

I know right now the best thing for me to do is to turn my sights up! To God! Frankly, that is one of my "I'm-not-going-to-call-it-a-resolution-because-resolutions-get-broken" for 2006: to prioritize my daily life around God. This time last year found me in a very different place! I was: without steady income - but singing in a show, grieving over a lost relationship (boy did that get tricky...), depending on just my own resources, and unwilling to really ask for help with most of this. I had a lot of growing pains in 2005; it was a trying year in many ways, and, honestly, I wouldn't have changed it one bit. There were also many, many wonderful things about 2005: lots of new friendships were made and experiences had that I now count among my fondest of memories.

I just got an email from a friend of mine, A, who has been working at an orphanage in Juarez, Mexico for the last two months. He writes every now and then, sharing his experiences and prayer requests with his friends and family. In this last letter, he shared an old journal entry, and I was glad to read it. I don't fell like this myself - right now - but, I was refreshed, nonetheless:

"I don't know if i can go on and I am certain that I can not in my own power. I feel defeated lost and confused. I have never felt this hopelessness that has swept over me in the past few weeks, and the darkness has grown around me. I have taken in the poisonous vile of the evil ones telling me, "You can't do it, you are a failure, God has left you here all alone.

Now I push them out and grasp for the healing touch of my savior. I call out to him, "Who do you say that I am?" I breath deep and as I inhale life enters in and I know that I am his son whom he loves. I am his brother whom he died for. I am already victorious, and I am not and have never been alone. The God of my fathers and my fathers fathers has claimed this soul and cherished me. "God I do not know if I can go on"

"You can" he replies, and his breath of life falls upon me, rests upon my chest, and I feel the life that that passes through me. I lay back and my chest rises and falls rises and falls rise and fall. When I close my eyes I envision the air in my chest pass from his lips and journey to my brothers all over the world. Sheltering them - giving them courage to keep going to - hold on. They draw his breath and find strength to fight back the words that attack their wills, His will. They are restored. They Fight. I Fight with them."

I hope this finds you in good times, that you are happy, that you are grateful and have the love and support of other around you. Take it in and appreciate it, because you will not always feel that way. We all feel alone. We all feel tired and next time you do remember that you are not alone and that there is breath to go on.

I look forward to 2006, and I am excited about all of the potential it holds. I will cherish the time I have and the people I get to be with. I will pray for you, my friends and family, and would that you pray for me, too. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17).

"10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 . . . "

I rang in the new year with the loveliest group of people; we were in our own little bubble of laughter, good cheer, love, joy and hope for all that 2006 would be (all that and fondue, too).

I have to admit that I was a little concerned about how the evening would work out, for a few reasons. One of which being that I wasn't flying back to SF until the 31st. But, my plane was only slightly late, and I had the the blessing of a ride home from the airport (thanks to DGS)!

Upon arriving home, there were groceries to be bought, and an ever-growing guest list with which to contend. I was worried about the fact that there were several "unknowns" coming to the event: friends of friends, about whom little or nothing was known. I think I was worried because I was tired and - (believe it or not) - being a person more inclined to introvertedness, I was just coming from a week of no 'alone time' into a party situation with strangers! Ack!

But, not to fear, as the group really gelled well: there was a neat cross-section of social circles involved, and all were open and glad to make new friends.

One last pre-party worry was the curious disappearance of my fondue pot. Not good when one is hosting a fondue-themed party. I'm sure I must've let someone borrow it last year, but I've no recollection of whom. Oh well. We attempted to use the crock pot, but that fell on the floor, and is no more.

Once the party was under way, all was well. Food and drink flowed, spirits soared, and competitive natures reared up during our game of Taboo. We rang in the new year with Dick Clark (on time-delay, of course), toasted champagne and sparkling cider to all of our new friendships, and even stole a midnight kiss or two. A weak attempt was made at trying to sing "Auld Lang Syne"...but no one remembered all of the words!

The party continued to the wee bits of the morning: some folks leaving intermittently throughout the night, some staying on to watch "Reality Bites" in the first few hours of 2006. By 5am, the majority had left, with a couple folks crashing at my place, thoroughly exhausted but (I hope) happy.

All-in-all, that's what I call a successful New Year's Eve Party.

Best of the New Year to you and yours! Here's to 2006!

Day in the life of . . .

Real-life conversation held by my parents on our way home to Denver in the car from Grand Lake:

Dad: "I wonder what Will and Shanna are up to in New Jersey right now..."

---Dramatic Pause---

Mom (from the backseat): "Makin' out."

---Dramatic Pause, while Dad looks at the clock---

Dad: "Well, Sally, it's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon! Well...it's 5 o'clock in New Jersey."

Mom: "So?"

---Meanwhile, I am laughing my ass off in the front passenger seat.---

I'm so glad I'm allergic to dogs . . .

Remember this Candy House from November?

I recently received an email from our family friends, to whom we had given the candy house, about the current state of said candy house. Our friends were planning to have their own candy house party with their little grandnephews over the holidays, and were using ours as a model.

But their dog, Redford, had a different idea.

Now, Redford is a happy dog; a Golden Retriever, in fact, and just loves everyone. But, this poor dog has many health problems. He is allergic to so many things that he gets allergy shots. Yup. Allergy shots. For the dog. And, the dog is on a special diet, to try and eliminate some of his allergies.

And, because of all the itching, Redford has scratched a patch of hair off of his butt, and as a result now has to wear "the lampshade" collar.

SO. Poor, sick dog, starved half to death, spies the Candy House up on the kitchen counter. He places the whole collar over the House and goes on to EAT THE WHOLE THING. Cardboard, candy, chocolate, crisco-based frosting, plasitc santa, tape and all.

Needless to say, our friends' house was turned into a minefield of little gifts from Redford over the next few days.

You're know you're in a tiny mountain town when

. . . both of your parents are asleep and it's before 10pm and you suddenly find yourself wondering, "Where does Yanni live?" So, I now know that Yanni is indeed from Greece, and keeps a house there as well as a recording studio in Flordia, I also came across this fabulous Yanni-an quote:

Music," says Yanni, "is an incredibly direct language. It bypasses language and logic, and speaks directly to your soul."

Well stated, Yanni.

Happy Book

One of my college friends, Janie, used to keep what she called a "Happy Book." In it she listed things/people/events which made her happy. She had several volumes by the time we graduated, and it was always entertaining to go back and read some of the past quotes or occurances listed in her book. A la Janie, here are just a few things I would place in my Happy Book (Mountain Edition):

1. Flannel pajama pants - pink, of course!
2. Wool socks
3. Hot, homemade chicken soup
4. Book
5. Handmade quilts
6. Hot cocoa
7. The smell of falling snow
8. Big bed with an electric blanket
9. Fuzzy scarf
10. Hot bath
11. Pulling a prank on Dad...and making him laugh!
12. Antler lights (oh, yes)
13. Warm, fuzzy snow boots
14. Fleece
15. Squishy couch
16. Internet (!)
17. Fireplaces
18. Clean, crisp air
19. Snowshoes
20. Longjohns

winter wonderland

I'm sitting all snug and warm inside, while outside is dark and blustery on this winter evening. I would have a fire going, but dad seems to be having hot flashes (sympathetic?) and would freak out. So, I've my blankets, a hot cup of tea and Louis Armstrong music playing in the background.

Mom is making chicken soup, although we realized half-way into the preparations that we actually didn't have the chicken broth. Dad volunteered to run out to the store and get the broth, potatoes, carrots and celery. (Yeah . . . we weren't too prepared for the whole soup thing). I made biscuits, and they'll go in the oven shortly, as soon as the soup gets going.

Dad and I went out and about for an hour or so earlier. We tramped through knee-deep snow in our jeans and boots, and headed toward the Lake. It's frozen over enough for snowmobiles to drive from one side to the other, and we walked out a little ways on the ice. I tried to convince Dad to make a snowangel, but that suggestion was greeted with a guffaw and a "yeah, right".

We then tromped back over snowdrifts and up to town. We walked along the icy street (only one main road - now suitable for all those snowmobiles) and ducked in a few of the little shops that are still open for the winter, and which provided a welcome respite from the biting wind.

This is part of our Colorado. It's as close to having family roots in this state as we get. My parents worked up at the Grand Lake Lodge when they were in college, and in 1979 (when I was born!) bought a tiny little log cabin on the stream which feeds into Grand Lake, the headwaters of the Colorado River. Now, 26 years later, we still come up, although this is the second year we've really come up in the winter time. Mom just re-did our little one-room wonder cabin, and now it is winterized and resembles some sort of oversized mountain dollhouse, rather than our tiny cabin. I think it's beautiful and I'm so proud of my mom.

Tomorrow, Dad and I are planning to go snowshoeing up to Adam's Falls. It's a short hike, about half a mile, but pretty steep and difficult in the snow. It's going to be fun!

I hope that William and I will be able to come up here for many years to come with our various friends and families, and enjoy this special place that has, in part, helped shape who we are today. I guess you can take the kids out of Colorado, but you can't take the Colorado out of the kids . . .

Stop the presses

Dad actually wants to watch TV. He kept asking me if we had any blank tapes anywhere, and if so would I please set the VCR to tape the Kennedy Center Honors. I couldn't figure out why the heck my father, who is NOT a big fan of the TV, wanted me to tape this show.

I finally figured it out. Tina Turner is one of the honorees.


Of course!

I know I was too young

. . . to see Mel Brooks' classics "Blazing Saddles" and "History of the World: Part I" when I saw them. I saw them at my grade school best friends' house. We were probably about 10, and her brother and his friends were 8 years older than us. We saw all sorts of things that we shouldn't have, and I remember in 5th grade I decided to write a (required) journal entry listing all of the movies I could ever remember seeing. Needless to say, I got in a little bit of trouble with Mom, after she read it one day.

Fast forward to 2005. The four Daniel family members all went to see "The Producers" this evening. And, we were not disappointed. Completely irreverent, this Mel Brooks comedy had the audience howling with laughter. I'm not sure how he came up with the idea of the original film - but he managed to combine Broadway, swedish bombshells, Nazi's and little old ladies into a satire so wrongly funny that I'm surprised anyone actually goes to see it our pc-laden society.

It's worth seeing and staying until the very end of the credits. You will not be disappointed!

We might have created a monster!

My dad is a good man. He has his quirks - - definite ocd tendencies, for one thing - - but, overall, is one of the most generous and patient men I have ever known. He alas has a weird hidden side that comes out every now and then.

For example, last week, Will, Mom and Dad were all up in the mountains, when an Enya song came on the radio. Apparently, Dad really liked it, and was asking about Enya, etc etc.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve. This is the first time EVER I can remember opening all our gifts on Christmas Eve, and that is because none of us wanted to get up super duper early and do it tomorrow before church. Anyways, we're opening gifts, and Will has gotten Dad an Enya CD, which promptly supercedes the Diana Krall Christmas CD we are listening to at that moment.

Well, William kind of starts twirling around, dancing, and poking fun at the music. A few minutes later, Dad starts dancing around - in earnest - kicking his leg, and totally almost falling over. It is one of the funniest "Bill D." moments I have witnessed in a while. We were all laughing our butts off, crying and practially peeing ourselves. Those of you that know my father, I'm sure, can just picture all of this in your heads . . . .

wow.

"When the Lights Go Down in the City . . . "

So I'm at the mall this evening, which is packed to capacity, being that it's 4 days 'til Christmas, and it's about 8:30pm. I've just about finished my shopping, and I've ducked into a store to try on some tall length pants, when all of a sudden the power goes out. In the whole mall. And I'm standing in the pitch dark changing room without any pants on. Good times all around.

"Everybody knows a Turkey . . . "

We received not one, but two, turkeys in the mail today at work. One for our ED and one for our Administrator. They are smoked birds courtesy of one of our money managers. To date, we have also received:
-Maple Syrup
-Biscotti
-Cookies
-2006 Calendar
-and "donations in our name" to various and sundry charitable organizations

It is my job to write the thank you notes, and to come up with some creative way of saying "thanks for the turkey, but in the future, we'd rather you make a donation in our name", without sounding ungrateful.

Turkeys. In the meantime, we're trying to send them over to Glide, where they can be put to good use.

la question est........

il y a des questions eternelles entre les hommes et Dieu: qui suis-je, et quelle est la raison pour laquelle je dois souffrir, pleurer, mourir, etc etc. Avec notre generation, je trouve il ya toujours cette question du 'prochain pas' dans la vie....pour exemple....prennons un ami de moi, il a deja finit des etudes, il a deja travailler pour qqannees, dans une carriere qu'il aime bien...mais, le prochain pas sera koi? rester, s'en aller, recommencer ici ou labas? Je connais ces questions moi meme, en ce concerne la musique, le boulot, les rapports...et celles sont des questions dont il ya une difficulte implicite dans le reponse.
Je ne voudrais pas vivre avec des regrets. Je voudrais vivre dans le present...mais, je pense trop, et ca je le sais si bien...j'ai de la tete lourde des pensees...des hypotheses...des fantasies...des reves...et meme des prieres. je voudrais etre la ou Il me dit....mais je trouve que je ne serait pas sur d'etre "la" avant que je me bouger d'ici. Tout devient clair en retrospection...et ca, ca c difficile d'accepter pour nous qui voudrions savoir tous des que hier...

bien. j'ai finit...et je m'en vais. je suis un peu mal au gorge (merde!) et j'ai besoin de dormir....a la prochaine

I should be working now, but

as I just had this conversation via email with my immediate supervisor, PM, (who is working from home today), I had to post it, cause it started out so normal...

Me: "Hello, everyone. Please help yourselves to some yule log cake in the kitchen. Pete sent it over for us."

PM: "Pete gave us a yule log last year as well and it was very good. If there’s a piece left, save one for me, but make sure others have had some first."

Me: "Of course I'll save you a piece."

PM: "I told [the CEO] to email me a piece (just kidding, of course)"

Me: "Haahahahhahaha that's funny :)"

PM: "We’re laughing now, but some day it will be possible"

--------WHAT? Did we just take a turn for the sci-fi? I think so...---------

What won't they think of next?

When my brother and I were younger, one of our favorite things about travelling via airplane was looking at the Sky Mall magazine. Coming back from Rose's wedding today (more on that to follow in subsequent posts), I found myself reaching for the holiday edition of the Sky Mall, and I was not disappointed. There is some wacky crap in there.
Here are some of my favorites:

I love the title of this gadget: The Sensory Assault Alarm Clock. As if having to wake up in the morning isn't already enough of an assault.

And what houshold would not be complete without an Animatronic Chimpanzee Bust?
The classic thing that always cracked me and William up is still around, and it's not so much the item itself, as much as how it's billed. The superlative Best Nose Hair Trimmer better be good...but it USED to be called The World's Best Nose Hair Trimmer, so maybe it got bumped down a notch.

This particular item always makes me think of Lucy and Desi. I think it's hilarious that all of those shows, now on Nick at Nite, featured families with kids, and yet the parents slept in separate twin beds. Go figure.

And, maybe my family will instate this Victorian Tradition. Nothing says Good Luck and Health like a candy pig.

I know a lot of dental students right now. I think I'll give them this as a collective Christmas present. Or, maybe I should give it to all of our other friends, and help the dentists drum up some buisness.

My mom would probably really dig these slippers, cause she stays up late and walks through the dark house at night. But really, are they necessary?

No words necessary for this customizable item.

If I had a big front yard, and neighbors I particularly wanted to annoy, I would place old Basho, The Sumo Wrestler, out there.

Mess with your cat.

Now, these last two things I actually think are REALLY COOL, and if I had unlimited funds with which I could truly geek out, I would totally get them:
Star Wars Exhibit A, and Star Wars Exhibit B.

"26 going on 12" or "The Urban Deer" ***

Stacy and Ferris meet at a concert. They have been exchanging emails, myspace messages and IM's for a few weeks, as is the norm among gen-xers these days. Ferris asks Stacy to dinner and drives up from the valley for the date.
They go to dinner, and pass 5 hours discussing everything from music to math and college days to historical personages, all the while laughing their butts off. After dinner, they play a close game of scrabble, which Ferris ends up winning in the end.


Act I, scene iii: The front door to Stacy's apartment complex, 1am, time for Ferris to drive home. It is the ultimate "first date" moment; replete with all the awkwardness - for both parties - implied within.

S: "I had a great time tonight."

F: "Me too." They hug.

S: Still in the hug. "Drive safely. Don't hit any deer on your way home."

F: Silence. Followed by snickering.

S: Giggles, "You know, all those urban, San Francisco deer." (In her head, she is screaming "Nonononononono! Shut-up, Stacy! Why are you babbling about deer??")

Both Stacy and Ferris have been reduced to giggles. The tension of the moment has been dissolved by (not unwelcome) laughter.

F: "One more hug".

They hug, still chuckling.

S: "Okay, good night...get outta here and drive safely."

End Scene....................................


Act II, scene ii: One week later; Ferris and Stacy meet up for a National Basketball Association game halfway between their respective homes. We join them mid-game, in section 117.

S: Leans toward Ferris, whispering "Ferris!"

F: "Yeah?" He leans his head back, eyes still on the game.

*bonk, like the sound of two coconuts hitting*

S & F: "arrghh" much wincing and rubbing of heads, quickly followed by a fit of laughter, which descends into tears. Yes, they are both laughing that hard.


End Scene.....................................................


Act II, scene iii: Crowded platform, waiting on their respective commuter trains.

S: Determined not to replay the 'deer' incident from the previous week, "Thanks, Ferris, I really had a lot of fun tonight."

F: "I did too". They hug.

S: Starts giggling, and buries her head into Ferris' shoulder.

F: "What's so funny?" he asks, smiling.

S: "I am trying very hard to bite my tongue and not say anything about those Urban Sheep. Pauses. Urban sheep. Urban sheep? I can't even get my own joke right?" she asks, laughing and dying of embarrassment.

F: Laughing, "Urban sheep. Yeah, and what about that Urban Cow blocking the train tracks..."

End Scene.......................

secret santa

Last night, we had our CLG Christmas party. It was a potluck, and I think that just about everyone was able to make it. All in all, we are almost 40 people now! I can remember when we were just 10 at most!

Anyways, we truly had a feast of love last night. I looove these people. Maybe part of it is just the upcoming holidays, but I don't think so. In any group, there is always a "breaking in" period; typically the larger the group, the longer the period. Well, last night felt like a family getting together, being goofy and silly, and just being ourselves. We even had a random new guy come last night, with H and B, and he was like "man. I'm going to come back every Monday night! You guys are fun."

So, we had a potluck, and then revealed our secret santa-ness, which was promptly followed by a wrapping paper fight. It was great fun.

This moment was brought to you by the letters D, O and H

which spells, D'Oh!

I thought I had lost my ticket for my trip to Rose's wedding in Texas this weekend.

My dad, who graciously lent me some AA miles for this trip, just informed me that my ticket was, in fact, ELECTRONIC.


PRAISE GOD

Kaliya

This is the name of my friend J's daughter. She is not born yet, but will be early in 2006. J is moving to Hawaii this month to have her baby, and to be close to her Father's family and her sister.

I am thrilled to death for J. But I am also concerned for her. She is only 21, unmarried, and still - in many ways - a child herself. I only pray that she would find in Hawaii the kind of love and support she is going to need during the first few months of motherhood. And, when she returns to SF in August to finish her last year of college, I pray that she would be welcomed with open arms.

Part of my concern for J stems from the fact that she is a Christian. I am concerned that church homes she might seek out will judge her for being an unwed, single mother. I thank God that (at least to my knowledge) our church here been supportive of her pregnancy - and I am truly grateful that she chose to keep her child. But, I can't get out of the back of my head those little concerns about what will happen once she has the baby.

We had a similar situation happen at my church in CO a while ago--unwed teenage girl getting pregnant. But, she was not as accepted. There was a lot of drama surrounding her circumstances-lots of judgement from church leaders, which made me sick. As Christians, we are called to LOVE. L-O-V-E. Why is that sometimes such a hard concept to grasp?

Pray for J and her new baby girl on the way - - - that they would be surrounded by love, and supported (physically, mentally, emotionally) in the months and years to come.

Questions, part deux

This is an Interactive Internet Question Game. I posted it earlier in the year here, and had a lot of fun with it, so let's try it again, shall we?


This is how it's played:

1. If you want to play, leave a comment below saying so.
2. I'll post five unique questions to the comments section of this post.
3. You answer them in your blog.
4. In your post, you include this explanation and an offer to interview others.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

---
In other news: THIS MAN will be shooting my new headshots this weekend. Apparently, he offers special holiday offers in a couple cities each year. I'll post them up for review next week. Yay!

frustration - vent alert

What an evening.

I just need to vent a little. Now, in general I am reallllly easy going. I am laid back, easy to get along with, patient...or, as AZ would say, I am a Golden Retriever. It takes certain things to get my dander up. One of those things is unorganized rehearsals. I don't like to sit around, freezing cold, wasting time in an inefficient rehearsal. Is it too much to ask to pick a schedule and at least pretend to stick to it? I don't think so.

I KNOW it's hard to put shows together, and I KNOW it's hard to organize arts folks - I've been on that side of things. It takes a ridiculous amount of time and energy. So, if this kind of producing or organizing or what have you is not your forte, then, by all means, get someone else to do it.

Also, please listen to your musicians, your sound man, your volunteers. That's always a good idea.

*Sigh*. Just pray that by tomorrow I am over this. Because Christmas is not about being irritated.
--------------------
Contrarily, last night was the exact opposite of tonight. Wednesday was fun, silly, and just great all around. I'll try and recapture that for the remainder of this evening. And, also fun, I get to bake a cake right now(*happy birthday, AZ*)! SO, in theory, I should lose my surface grumpiness.

Tomorrow's a new day. Praise the Lord!

"Simply havin' a wonderful Christmastime"

That is the song playing on the radio right now. AZ and I just made a last-minute run to the Costco for birthday supplies, and now we're back at my house. I'm decorating my little tree (my efforts were thwarted on Friday...), and AZ is testing several recipes out for work. I donned my santa hat - yay! - and just HAD to stop and record this moment. It's a great moment, for we two are each in our own element, surrounded by music and lights and, oh...here comes the roomie. Soon, he too will be in his element: taste-testing the goodies :)

In memoriam

One of our board members, Peter E. Haas, died over the weekend. He was 86, and physcially very ill, so it was not a huge surprise, but still sad. One of the things about working at a family foundation is just that - it's a family foundation. All of our board memebers are related to each other, and this is a very hard time for them.

For the past month, our office has been going nuts trying to put together the numbers and grants to be discussed at our last board meeting of the quarter, which is scheduled for 2 days from now. It might be cancelled, now, which is fine and is just serving as a reminder of the truly important things in life.

Please pray for: Betsy, Pete, Wally, Doug, John, and Jennifer. These are our trustees. To them, Peter Sr. was not just the "honorary president;" he was uncle, father and grandfather. Also pray for Pam, our CEO, who was close to Peter, and Larry, Peter's assistant.

unforgettable

Admittedly, I can be bad with names. However, I met someone today whose name I shall NEVER forget.

Kermit Svinn.


Is that a great name, or what? He introduced himself to me during our rehearsal (he's a member of the Brentwood Arts Commission, which sponsored our Sing Along Messiah today) and I said:
"Oh my gosh. I love that. Nice to meet you, Kermit."
He cracked up and said, "Yeah, it's not easy being green", (and he was wearing - what else? - a green shirt).

A man named Kermit. Never in my life . . .

Final updated update . . .

12:45 pm

*whew*

Praise God for cell phones, google, Yahoo Instant Messenger and websites.

I can now peacefully make my way to Brentwood.


Bored this afternoon? Come to our Sing Along Messiah. You know you've always wanted to sing the Hallelujah Chorus . . .

Updated update . . .

Will wonders never cease?

PRAISE the LORD for His mercies big and small.

I still don't know WHEN I have to be there, but now I know where "there" is, thanks to DGS!!!!!! Thank you, thank you.

update...

praise the LORD my dsl is working again.


Everything else is, as yet, unresolved. But this is a step in the right direction . . .

grrrrrrrrr

I am frustrated to no end this evening.

I have to be in Brentwood tomorrow for a gig.

Time: around noon (exact time unknown)

Place: um, no clue (except for the fact that it's in Brentwood)

Auto Route: uh...no address to use as my "ending address"

Time for which my alarm clock needs to be set: No idea, because I don't know how far Brentwood is!


Why don't I have this information, you ask? Well, I thought I had it stored in my gmail somewhere, but apparently I don't. The needed details never made their way to me, and of course I just figured that all out this evening. I take full responsibility for that. But still . . .
ACK ACK ACK ACK. And I can't reach the one person whom I know has all of this info. Add to that an incapacitated DSL (thanks, SBC), sloooow dial-up, and the fact that I was supposed to be spending a relaxing evening putting up my Christmas decorations instead of all of this, and you get an on-edge opera singer.


I need a hug!!!

A life less ordinary*

Every now and then, I find myself in a season of waiting. Waiting for the next move, the next step, the next chance. Right now, I feel like I'm living in the middle of a pregnant pause. The first clause has just left God's lips, and I (the listener) am waiting for its conclusion.

I guess I am living a life less ordinary. Shoot, by virture of the fact that I have spent a quarter of my life studying opera makes my life "less ordinary". And, in SF at least, being a Christian is more than enough to qualify as less ordinary. But what does it really mean to life a life less ordinary? Who or what defines "ordinary" to begin with?

Any thoughts, fair readers?


*title thanks to dgs and CL

How to make Wednesday morning interesting . . .

10. Bring in chocolate alligators for the staff to munch on (thanks, AW).
9. Burn out the bathroom light. Call for maintenance.
8. Have toilet in said bathroom back up.
7. Bond with coworker over plunger.
6. Experience the *soothing* sounds of loud yoga music. Coming from the gym downstairs.
5. Type fedex labels on the typewriter. And pull out your hair.
4. Listen to your boss freak out in her office. Loudly.
3. Re-type aforementioned fedex labels, due to wrong contents of fedex envelopes.
2. Forget to take your allergy medicine. Try to type and sneeze at the same time.
1. Rinse. Repeat as necessary.

It's a small, small, world

Is it just me? Or do you guys notice that the world is shrinking, too? I realize the Bay Area is small, indeed, but still. It's cool and weird all at the same time.

Exhibit A:
Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I'm on an flight from SF to Denver, and I notice the girl kinda keep looking at me, like "Do we know each other?" It's not until we end up at DIA 'round midnight, that we finally connect, and she's like..."I think we go to the same church in SF, and we met once, like months ago". Crazy! Isn't that random?

Exhibit B:
Fast forward to tonight. One of my coworkers received some tickets to a recital at the Herbst this evening. She gave them to me, 'cause who else in the office is going to go hear an opera singer give a recital? Anywho . . . there actually IS one other singer in the office, N, and I asked her if she wanted to come along and hear Sari Gruber this evening. N immediately perked up: seems that she and Sari went to Yale together, and were friends! CRAZY!


Exhibit C:
At the aforementioned, I'm sitting in front of this people who are talking "shop" about singing blah blah blah. We get to chatting, and next thing I know, I might be able to make an easy $100 this weekend. For 1.5 hours of rehearsal/singing. Not to shabby. Turns out the guy saw Schicchi in January, etc. etc. Small world (especially when one starts getting into specialized areas...)

And now for something completely different

You must check out this site. Or I will particle-ize you. Seriously. I now know how, thanks to Cow Chip and Lance.

I can't believe I've never used different colors and fonts before.

In the words of Fabio:

I cahn't beliehve I hafen't seen Harry Pottah yet. :/

Thanksgiving 2005

I have had a wonderful weekend, full of friends and family (see left) and FUN. Here are some highlights, and some pictures!

I know some of you have been anticipating a report on Will's new girlfriend, Shanna (pronounced Shauna), who came out to Colorado for the holiday. Report: She passes. We all really like her. She's a smart one, funny and is totally in love with my brother (and vice versa). She's a yankee, so that proved for some funny times, as we were at a mainly Southern Thanksgiving feast. Nevertheless, she won us over with her wit, laughter, and kindness. Go, Will!!

We went up to Grand Lake for a quick trip. It was beautiful there in the ice and snow. We decided to go for a short hike, which was a little dangerous, due to the aforementioned ice and snow, but it was well worth it, as we got to see Adam's Falls. The top layer of the falls was frozen over, and you could see the water running underneath the blue-white ice. Amazing.



We also made Candy Houses. This is a tradition in my family which dates from...well, since I can remember. I think we only missed a couple years here and there. But we used to have huge candy house making parties with our friends - anywhere from 10-20 houses being built. In fact, Will learned to count by helping dole out the candy to each respective house-maker.
(Grand Lake, to the right).

My candy house




Will & Shanna's house (below)
All in all, we have much to be thankful for!!

I'd like to thank

my boss for letting us out of work early today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!! Love to you all!!!

La plus ca change . . .

merde. c temps d'ecrire une tirade en francais, et pourkoi? une fois, une amie m'a dit qu'il faut pas vivre par des sentiments. on peut les controler et pas etre controler par eux. mais, avec qq personnes, ca c impossible. il ya une heure, j'etais heureuse, contente et entrain d'ecrire un email a un nouvel ami. c tout. et maintenant j'approache mon point d'ebullition. ca c la verite. pourkoi donne-je tant d'importance a cette personne et ses pensees et sa comportement? ca veut dire koi de moi??? est-ce que c pourkoi il me reste des sentiments? ou bien que je fais tres attention a lui? mais c fou, ca. bien sur je suis capable d'aimer, mais suis-je destiner a vivre par des sentiments? ca c dangeureux, n'est-ce pas? a la meme fois, j'ai peur de ne PAS vivre comme ca. Mais c comme ca: je ne pense pas a lui sans le voir - je ne lui contacter pas, je ne lui parle pas, je ne fais rien. c lui qui le fais, e je me trouve pris dans les anciens sentiments. chaque fois. merde.
j'ai besoin de prier, probablement. mais prier pour koi exacte, je ne suis pas sur. pour etre heureuse? pour qu'il etre heureux? pour l'amnesie de ma part? c'est impossible, mais quand meme, c pas mal comme idee, ouais?!!! bon. maintenant je voudrais jouer de piano, mais je ne peux pas, il y'en a trop de monde ici et c impossible.
et, au meme fois que je me sens la colere, je me sens un peu triste et compatissante et je m'inquite de plus. Pourkoi cette reaction de brusquerie de sa parte? j'ai RIEN DIT (voir le post precedent...). Je sais qui'l est stresse, qu'il a des inquietes en ce qui concerne l'argent et le chant. et je ne peu pas le reparer. c Dieu seulement qui peux le faire. a apart de ca? j'ai peur qu'il serait "reparer" et j'ai peur qu'il ne serait pas "reparer".
mon dieu. je me sens un peu meilleure. ca m'aide d'ecrire comme ca. sans penser, sans reflechir, sans corriger, sans lire les phrases precendentes, sans jugement, sans prendre d'avis des autres, sans s'inquieter des pensees des autres, sans rien que les sentiments qui a lieu dans mes mots. ca me donne bcp de liberte, d'audacite, je me sens vraiment "moi"...la version la plus reele de moi-meme. pour que dieu me donne de patience, de tranquilite, du sang-froid et de foi...

-fin-

WTF?!?!?!?

Why did I just get the following series of emails:

1. "Hey. I want to see you. Are you around town December X? Please?"

and upon MY reply of "Ummmm...call me and we'll talk about it [cause I have some afternoon plans, and I wanted to a time frame...]

2. Response to the above: "mmmm. forget about it. Just wanting to talk about it means it's a big deal. See you next year".

?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Someone is having a bad day and taking it out on me. I'm all for listening to someone; in fact I enjoy it and I am a good sounding board. I am empathetic and honored and humble to be thought of as someone to turn to in time of need.

But I am not the whipping post.

7:45 A.M.

That is what time I arrived at the DMV this morning, book & iPod in tow. I was ready to wait in line.

After a mere five minutes, I made it to the front of the vehicle registration line and was expecting the worst. I explained the situation (see previous post) and the woman behind the counter said "Here is your number, wait over there, hon". What? She called me "hon"? And not in a weird way, but in the way that older waitresses at a 1950s themed diner call you "hon".

I was just turning on my iPod, ready to wait it out, when not 2 seconds after jeans met plastic chair did my number get called. WTF? I approached the window, received a pleasant greeting, explained the situation and -voila!- paid (with no extra late fees!), and took my receipt to the next window and got my sticker.

How much time did this take?

As I walked out the door and looked at my watch, it was !gasp! only 7:55 A.M.

10 minutes. Anyone know Guinness' phone number??

Making my father proud

...yet another one for the books.

I have to renew the registration for my car. Of course they sent me the renewal about three months ago, right before my big vacation. And, of course, I put it "away" for safe-keeping until my return.

It's now 5 days overdue. I totally lost the letter. So, tomorrow, I get to go to the DMV for 7:30 tomorrow morning. *yay*

In other news -

It is t-minus 6 days until I head home to Colorado for Thanksgiving. I am terribly excited. N0t only do I get to see my family, good friends, snow, and the mountains, I also get to meet the sibling's girlfriend! Wow. And when I say "get to meet", what I'm really saying is that we get to share a room and talk about Will all night. Heheeheheh. Whew. It will be a memorable weekend, for sure!

Breath of fresh air in this PC-cloistered city

So, I've been going to physical therapy for my foot (plantar fascitis) twice a week for the last three weeks. I LOVE the people at the clinic I go to; the doctor, J, is great. And her aide, M, is great. Their office is very welcoming and encouraging while at the same time they push us to do what they know we can. I look forward to going every time.

So, while I was being iced down at the end of my exercises today, M says something about Tom Cruise, scientology, weird stuff, blah blah blah. Then, out of the blue, he stars talking about Creationism vs. Evolutionism, and how he was in a fight with his brother about that the other day and what did we think?

I was impressed, just because for the most part, people here are so afraid to talk about ANYTHING having to do with religion - especially in "public" places (of work, etc).

So, M asks Dr. J, who replied (quite candidly) that she was agnostic. Her parents are buddhist, and she went to a methodist church for a while; now she believes something is up there, but not sure what. I asked M what he thought, and he said "I'm not a monkey" and from there went into saying how he believes in Adam and Eve, etc, and how he got in trouble during anthropology class at Berkeley for stating his creationism beliefs to the pro-evolution professor. He asked me what I thought, and I told him I believed the creationism side.

It was just an interesting night, and I'm glad the subject came up. Because in that type of "professional" situation, in rarely just "comes up". I think M might be muslim, but I'm not sure. Interesting, indeed.

Sad but true

I was reading an article by Greg Sandow in this weeks' SFCV newsletter about the disconnect which occurs between audience members and musicians during classical music concerts. I loved his last quote, pulled from Christopher Small's book Musicking:

This is the great paradox of the symphony concert, that such passionate outpourings of sound are being created by staid-looking ladies and gentlemen dressed uniformly in black and white, making the minimal amount of bodily gesture that is needed to produce the sounds, their expressionless faces concentrated on a piece of paper on a stand before them, while their listeners sit motionless and equally expressionless listening to the sounds. Neither group shows any outward sign of the experience they are all presumably undergoing.

I loved how he worded this: it's the perfect image. I hate it, because unfortunately, it is true.

Check out Greg's "book-in-progress" and his blog at ArtsJournal.

Bunny Suicides

Does the fact that I find this freaking hysterical make me sick and twisted?

sleepless in san francisco

That amazing Illy cappucino I had earlier? Should've made it a decaf . . . oh well

Music

A lot of people, upon finding out that I am a classically trained musician, ask me what my favorite song or piece of music is. The following 10 speak to me - for various reasons - and I just love them. So, for all you fellow music nerds:

Barber's Adagio for Strings - though I have a particular recording in which this is sung as an Agnus Dei, which is heart-breakingly beautiful

El Amor y la Muerte by Granados. Solo piano piece. I will never forget the first time I heard this: Alessio Bax at an SMU recital. I had never been so moved by a piano performance before.

Una furtiva lagrima from L'Elisir d'amore by Donizetti. Especially as sung by Placido Domingo or Jussi Bjorling.

Je dis que rien ne m'epouvante from Bizet's Carmen. I don't have a favorite recording of this, although some of my friends sing the hell out of it!!

In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel is probably my favorite pop song; with Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkel) and U2's Love Rescue Me tied for second.

Chantilly Lace by the Big Bopper I LOVE because it reminds me of time spent at my grandmother's house.

La vida es un Carnaval as sung by Celia Cruz is my favorite salsa.

Amazing Grace. As sung by Gloria, my grandmother's helper for years and years. She sung this at my grandmother's funeral when I was 15, and it left its' indelible mark on me.

Chanson d'automne

Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'automne
Blessent mon coeur
D'une langueur
Monotone.

Tout suffocant
Et blême, quand
Sonne l'heure,
Je me souviens
Des jours anciens
Et je pleure

Et je m'en vais
Au vent mauvais
Qui m'emporte
Deçà, delà,
Pareil à la
Feuille morte.

*Paul Verlaine, Poèmes saturniens (1866)

"Keep out of reach of children"

Yesterday was Halloween. And, of course, I couldn't just let that slide by.
I got up, dug out my vampire teeth and threw them in a cup of Hydrogen Peroxide (they'd been sitting in my medicine cabinet for a year). I then drew an amazingly life-like (death-like?) vampire bite on my neck, using lip liner and three shades of eyeshadow.

Off to work!

I snuck around the office, creeping up on coworkers, and got some great reactions. I live for this stuff, man!

So, I get home, rush to Albertson's for eggs to make pumpkin bread, return home, get the bread in the oven and decide to go full out vampiress. Even though I'm just going to Bible study. I just really wanted to dress up!

Out comes the black shirt and cape-like wrap; the looong blond wig; bright red lips; pale, pale skin; dark, dramatic eyes. What is NOT to like about this costume, seriously?

I am running late. The pumpkin bread is taking to long. I'm supposed to be there at 7pm. It's 6:55.

I run in the bathroom, remember that I never took my medicine that morning, and grap my pills. I see a mug of water next to my sink and take a glup to wash down the meds......and it tasted NASTY!!!!

Slowly, and yet almost immediately, to my horror I realize that I have just taken quite a large swig of hydrogen peroxide. Yup. My fangs were soaking in that mug this morning.

I FREAK out and run to the living room where my roomate and his girlfriend had just sat down. I told them what happened, and I was like, 'what do I do? do I need a doctor? what??" The bottle says "Keep out of reach of children. If swallowed, contact a poison control center IMMEDIATELY". This did not help my state of mind, you see. Ryan was like, drink some water. And I did. And he tried to convince me that since the H2O2 had been sitting out, exposed to the air, all day, that I was going to be fine. I was kinda convinced, and left for Bible Study.

In the car, I called home. Mom answered, and I was like "I need to talk to Dad. Please. Now." He picks up, I tell him my story, and he calls the poison hotline and then calls me back. I am going to be fine. Did you know that sometimes vet's give dogs H2O2 to drink, because the bubbles induce vomiting? Well, I never got sick, so I guess I was okay.

I can just HEAR my father's comments to my mom after he hung up the phone with me. Something along the lines of "Well. Only [MezzoSF] would accidentally drink the hydrogen peroxide she was soaking her fangs in and call us for advice about the situation while dressed as a vampire on her way to Bible study with half-baked pumpkin bread. That must be your daughter."