update

Please continue to pray for the Sullivan family.
Sara Sullivan passed away earlier today, leaving behind her husband, F-16 pilot Brady, and 8-day-old daughter, Chloe.

I've posted a link to their blog, and I'm going to leave it up there. If you want to read an amazing testimony of Faith and Love and Hope in Christ, I recommend perusing through it. If 'religion' is not your thing, I recommend reading it as a story of a strong woman's battle with breast-cancer, a strong man and his love for his family, and the legacy of one tough little baby girl. Make sure you have a box of tissues with you when you do decide to read.

I had other things I wanted to write about tonight...but this family's story has sidelined me. And I don't even know them...they are close friends with one of my best friends.

Their family story is heartbreaking, humbling and inspiring...if only we could all live our lives in such a fashion as to touch the lives of hundreds of people...just through our own life story.

Be thankful, for you are blessed.

Quick request

I've added a photo and link to my sidebar (---->) which reads "Praying for Sara".

Long story short, Sara Sullivan is a new mom (her daughter is only a few weeks old) who has been battling cancer for the last year. This past week has found Sara suddenly in a coma with severe brain damange. The Sullivan family are dear USAF friends of the folks I was visiting in Italy last week, and we are all trying to get the word out and get folks praying.

Thanks.

10 years later

So, I have been back from my vacation for almost a week now, and am feeling pretty much adjusted back to this time zone. Work was rough last week, but I've gotta say that...well, as little as I was looking forward to the end of vacation and getting back to the grind, it *is* said job which supports my travel bug. So...whattya gonna do?

10 years later. Returning to Paris for a good stay (~6 days) was incredible. So much of the city has changed (people wear jeans now, the Velib city bike share program, no-smoking inside restaurants), and yet...so much has not changed at all (Parisians are effortlessly put-together, the Metro smells the same, the bread...mmm).

Once again, turning to my old journal, I found a list I had composed on 12/2/1999, entitled, "Things I have learned about myself or life this semester." Looking at it, I can see in what ways I have changed, as well as what hasn't changed at all.
Here's the list - unedited as written - with my current sentiments following [in brackets].

1. I 'groan' a lot. [In reference to my propensity for non-verbal, yet out-loud, agreeing or disagreeing with people. As in: mmm-hmmm, mm, or heh. I still do it. My father does, too.]

2. I need God - He is constant [Still completely true. And I still need reminders of this sometimes.]

3. I am extremely independent [No newsflash there]

4. I love French - more than ever [Speaking French for a whole week was magical for me this vacation. I still love it and think it is a beautifully expressive language - even though my brain was fried at day's end...]

5. I can sing - but must practice [Still so true.]

6. I have an acute sense of smell [Ahhhh yes. Again, the smell of the Metro hasn't changed one bit.]

7. I take too many things in the USA for granted [I don't think I take too much here for granted anymore...I am very grateful for the blessings in my life. This was one of the lessons I took to heart 10 years ago.]

8. I want to get married eventually [Still true. Though watching Sibling plan a wedding? Elopement sounds better - but my mom would kill me hahahha].

9. I am way taller than your average European [Oh yeah.]

10. I miss my girlfriends [Had a really close-knit group of galpals in college and high school. I *still* miss them, given that most of us are now scattered across the globe. Thank goodness for Facebook! lol]

11. I really miss seeing my brother grow up [Ah...and I am immeasurably grateful for the time we spent living together here in SF. Truly special.]

12. I am very different from who I was in high school [hmm. I am different from who I was in college...but I think I'm getting closer to returning to who I was as a kid, in some ways.]

13. I don't like boring classes - I get lazy in them [Hitting the nail on the head. Still.]

14. I am turning into my parents [Scary, but yes. And hopefully more in the good ways, than in the ... not-so-good ways.]

15. I really like champagne [OH yeah!]

16. I miss smiling - a lot [Note: a female by herself navigating the streets of Paris, the metro, etc, does NOT smile at strangers. It's taken as an "invitation" to a very specific kind of ... ahem...male attention. Very unlike the streets of my college grounds of Dallas, where everyone was friendly.]

17. I am much 'better off' than a lot of my friends [I grew up in a comfortable household - my father is a physician and worked hard (still does!) for his family. This is something I have never taken for granted and any of my parents' support of me - materially speaking - and generosity in general has been both humbling and something I've tried to 'pay forward' in my own life.]

18. I am judgmental - [I have had - and probably still will have - my moments with this one. And while I have become much more open to some things in my "elder" years . . . in some ways, I have probably become more closed. I think both is a function of living in SF for 8+ years, now.]

19. I don't like couchettes (see #9) [Couchettes are the sleeping cars on overnight train-trips which feature 6 fold down bench-things for sleeping. Again, I'm taller than your average European - those benches are incredibly awkward for me.]

20. I am tolerant [Funny, after writing #18 up there. Again, yes, I am both tolerant and judgmental, depending on the subject, I guess. Aren't we all?]

21. I do get homesick a little [This is probably more true NOW than it was 10 years ago.]

22. I like the fact that I am keeping a journal [I like the fact that I am keeping a blog.]

23. I like tomatoes and mushrooms - but not headcheese [Before I lived in France, I hated BOTH tomatoes and mushrooms. I like them now. Headcheese is still disgusting.]

24. I need lots of sleep [I still do. And I still probably don't get enough.]

25. I hate commuting [ditto]

26. I am on display 24/7 [Interesting comment. I don't remember why I wrote that, but I guess something about how I present myself to the outside world. I don't really feel this way currently.]

27. I don't *have* to be addicted to email [Amen to that! Even though I am totally reliant upon email these days.]

28. It's not that gross to go for a week without shaving my legs [hahahahah. That is hilarious. I *had* been living in very hot, very fixy Dallas, so moving to cold Paris where showers where small and shaving difficult...this really was a revelation for me. I mean...if you're wearing long pants in the winter, and you don't have a boyfriend...anything goes! lol]

29. I enjoy having older (adult) friends [I have been this way since I was a kiddo]

30. I can read people well [I try to use my power for good.]

31. I need to learn more about politics and current events [I have become much better at this, these days.]

Macarons, eclairs, et gougeres, oh my!

I learned how to make macarons today. And eclairs. And gougeres (savory little puff things). It was a very fun morning!! We were a small class of four students - all women, go figure - at Les Promenades Gourmandes, run by a lovely woman called Paule Caillat. However, as she is not a pasty chef, the patisserie course this morning was led by the wonderful Joel .... (can't remember his last name right now, will edit later!) It was great fun and I have the recipes for all of this stuff now . . . not sure if any would come out as good as it does here, but I'm all for giving it the college try.

I have another course there on Wednesday - this one a three-course meal, not pastry. Another girl from this morning's class (who has come to Paris to celebrate turning 30 and revisit some of her college days here - will be there, too.) So, that's fun!

Not to worry - I'm not at all spending my life writing at a computer whilst en France. I just got home and had a "jambon, crudite et fromage" sandwich...so delicious. And I have to take a 30 minute nap before I crash face first into this computer. I managed to stay awake until 9:30pm last night (after arriving yesterday morning), but have since been wide awake since 3:00 am.

Later this afternoon: Carrousel du Louvre for a little shopping followed by a tour of the Centre Pompidou. Or perhaps vice versa - I haven't decided just yet :)
Tomorrow is lunch with a college friend who now lives here...ah...the blessings of reconnecting with people through Facebook. Even if we haven't really talked for 10 years, we picked up on the phone right where we left off...gotta love that.

BON. Happy Labor Day, all! And it's nap time . . .

curiouser and curiouser

....women wearing stilletto heels at the airport. The kind with lots
of straps and buckles, even. There is a time and place for sexy
shoes...walking through airports does *not* strike me as one of those
times.
In other news, was all packed up by 9pm last night-a new record for me
(usually I am up until at least midnight before a trip). However, I
could hardly sleep last night, I was so excited! Whooo! Bring on the
first leg, sfo to detroit! Then detroit to cdg!

You just can't make this up

It's been 10 years since I was a student in paris (during my junior year of college). I came across my old journal that I kept during that time, and boyyyy.... It is filled with some gems (mixed in with what now seems to be an obsession with writing about every single meal time!). So here, dear readers, are some of the best (thus far in my rereadings):
9/7/99: "Finally at 12- we decided to go home so we wouldn't miss the metro. Put on my 'metro face' and made it back by 12:30. Saw a hooker."
10/3/99: "We had a clear, cold day and it was beautiful! There were still lots of flowers- can't even describe them! Came back and went for aperitifs at the neighbors' new place. The crazy grandma told us how she suckled 2 kittens with her own milk! Ack."
10/9/99: "... We had champagne which was fab and foie gras--not so fab."
10/17/99: "Leave for thoronet abbey and see real live monks!!"
10/18/99: "... go back to Nice for dinner. See a hooker - ack!"
10/21/99: "Class etc ... Find out dad could've been shot by mental patient and my keys were sent home from north Carolina!"
10/30/99: "Up at 7:14. Talked to mom and dad before leaving."
11/27/99: "I accidentally dropped my discman and now it doesn't work!! And I bought earphones for it TODAY at fnac-ACK-I can't believe it."

ahhhh.....so funny to relive some of old memories. And realize that I ate a ton of Chinese food whilst in Paris. I guess it was cheap! Hahaha!

Final countdown

I started thinking through my packing tonight, and hope to do the actual packing tomorrow. This saves me from staying up too late friday before my flight on saturday morning. Whohoo!

I'll be gone for 10 days to France and italy, and I am so looking forward to some r&r!!

to paraphrase

1. My laptop is broken. Again. But I probably won't get it fixed until after my vacation.
2. Sibling officially moved to Philly about month ago, and is now an east-coaster. Without ESPN on 24/7, the house is much quieter. I miss him, though.
3. I played hookey with my boss a couple weeks ago. She has season tix to the SF Giants, and took me to see them play a day-game against the Dodgers. Great game!
4. Bagged my first peak a few weekends back. If 2,517 feet counts as a "peak," that is. Around here it does. Mission Peak is a short 3.2 miles each way, but steep and exposed. The view from the top? Gorgeous!
5. I leave for vacation in ... 8 days. Paris and Italy, here I come!
6. Church is at an interesting crossroads right now. Sadly - and still surreally - our pastor passed away almost two months ago, God is good and He loves us, but there are moments when this is still raw.
7. One of the benefits of aging is realizing that I don't have to apologize for who I am. I am who I am...even if that person changes (hopefully for the better).
8. I am the incredible shrinking woman. Hear me roar.
9. I am an observer. I enjoy watching people and listening to them speak without opening their mouths. Generally, this is a very good skill and has served me quite well. Specifically, it is harder to enjoy/utilize when communicating with someone else like this-especially over the phone.
10. I have not really sung (church doesn't count) since June, but I had a lesson this week. It went better than I thought it would.
11. I am worried about my mother...nothing new there, but it just seems to always be something.
12. I love taking Arabic but I cannot take it this coming term because I will be missing half the classes due to travel conflicts.
13. The state of CA is having a garage sale in Sacramento. Yup. A garage sale. Because that is going to bail us out of our ridiculous debt. *eyeroll* Perhaps it’s time to think about voting oneself off of this West Coast Island, and head for higher ground.
14. The Bay Area is beautiful – and by not having been in a show this summer, I’ve had time to explore the easily-accessible nature just outside the city limits. Still haven’t made it to Yosemite, yet. But that is on my list!!
15. I am blessed with many loved and be-loved ones.
16. Dark chocolate. Need I say more?
17. According to a certain SPC, the Army would be much better off if the “kids today” enlisting understood – or even knew about – the comedy of Monty Python. I would have to agree; the world at large could use a dose of humo[u]r.
18. Same goes for understanding/being aware of the Cold War.
19. I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay.
20. Next Friday: chicken and waffles office lunchtime run!

Le (pauvre) Petit Prince

Once again, the genii over at XKCD have made me snort out loud laughing. At work.

Friday Five - Child's Play

From RevGals: Maybe you are better at it than me, but my first-born, responsible demeanor rarely lets up enough for me to do frivolous silly things – like playing on playgrounds – without a good reason. My friend will stand up in a crowded restaurant and serenade me with an operatic rendition of Happy Birthday. My sister is very good at grabbing the joy in the moment. I seem to need a child to bring it out in me and even then… it takes a lot.

Today’s Friday Five celebrates the spontaneous child in all of us…or at least the one that we admire in someone else.

1) On a scale of 1-5, with "5" being I can’t do this now I am about to jump into a pit of plastic balls at the mini-mall, and "1" being I can’t do this now until I can get all of the fonts on my blog to match – where are you? Today? I am about at a "2" right now - ready to be out from behind my desk at work and go outside to play!! But maybe a nap, first. That might push me to a "1" right there!.

2) What is the silliest/most childlike thing you have done as an adult? Ummmm how about the most recent? That would be dressing up as a Jedi for my 30th birthday party.

3) Any regrets? I kinda wish I had learned to ski when most of my other friends did, aka, as soon as they could walk. By the time I learned, I was too chicken (and still am) to fling myself down a mountain at breakneck speed. That, and my knees are not so great.

4) What is the silliest thing you have ever seen another adult do on purpose? Ooooh. That is a good question. I see a lot of my adult friends do silly things all the time!See: Professional Actors/Performers hahahahah!

5) What is something you wish you did when you had the chance? Similar to question 3, isn't this? Hmmmm, I wish I had broken my own rules and had a little wine to drink when I lived in France during college. I was of age there - but not yet 21. My host family thought I was CRAZY hahahahah.

BONUS: For our ‘I told you so’ sides – what thing did you skip doing and you’re really glad you did?! The only things which spring to mind in this category all seem to relate to putting together furniture ("you should have read the instructions") and driving ("you should have asked for directions"), all instances of which seem to apply to Sibling, for one. HAHAHHA :)

Been hanging out in Mos Eisley

(Jen - this post is just for you, my dear, since I've been absent of late...)

I am still here! Haven't fallen off the planet *just* yet. But it has been a busy summer thus far. Kind of. I've been back and forth to CO twice to visit family and friends and then promptly got really ill with bronchitis. I've still got some residual asthma problems, but went to the doc again yesterday and got a different kind of asthma medicine, so hopefully that will do the trick! Yay!!

I celebrated my 30th birthday with friends this week by throwing a STAR WARS party. It was, in fact, all of my nerdy Star Wars dreams come true. I rented a screening room and showed the original 1977 version of Episode IV: A New Hope (read: not remastered and no additional scenes), AND had an R2D2 birthday cake (see below). (Courtesy of Debbie Does Cakes here in the city.) And AZ managed to get her hands on a copy of quite possibly the coolest DVD ever: The Secret Life of Artoo. I plan on watching it this weekend!

The best part, though, was getting a bunch of my different friends together from lots of different circles and just having a good time. Truly, I am blessed.

Hope you are all having a great week!

Friday Five - Games

So this Friday Five is about games, so play on ahead. . . .

1. Childhood games? We always played dominoes with our grandma and great-grandma growing up. And card games like go-fish, gin and poker (with beans for the ante!). Board games the most popular as kids around our house were: Monopoly, Sorry, Clue, CandyLand, Battleship, The Game of Life, Pictionary, Scrabble, checkers and Connect-Four.

2. Favorite and/or most hated board games? I LOVED Clue, pictionary, and monopoly. Most hated was probably ... I don't know...parchesi? Was that a board game?

3. Card games? Go Fish, Old Maid, Gin and Poker (5 card draw)

4. Travel/car games? License plate bingo - try to find all the states' plates; The Sign Game (Call out letters in ABC order until you get through the entire Alphabet...first one done wins, ie "A" in Avenue, "B" in Burger King, etc. No repeats or sharing of signs.); I spy; Radio (basically name-that-tune or band, whilst flippling through stations).

5. Adult pastimes that are not video games? Any board games, volleyball, croquet, cards/dominoes, sit around and tell stories from "back when I was your age", hiking, walking, fishing, make a home movie, boating, frisbee.

embark

tomorrow i turn 30...looking forward to that. It's been a very
emotional few weeks of lots of ups and downs...about which i have not
the space (writing on my phone) nor energy to get into right now.
But...30. Yeah....bring it on, world!

Friday Five - Pop Music

1) What sort of music did you listen to as a child - this would likely have been determined or influenced by your parents? Or perhaps your family wasn't musical...was the news the background? the radio? Singing around the piano? I listed to a mix of stuff: country music (from my mom); classic rock (from my dad); big band & oldies (from my grandma); classical music all on my own. And then my cousin introduced me to Aerosmith, INXS, Edie Brickell and Spinal Tap via his awesome mix tapes.

2) Going ahead to teenage years, is there a song that says "high school" (or whatever it might've been called where you lived) to you? Not a song, but two bands: Simon & Garfunkle; U2. And jazz...I discovered vocal and latin jazz in high school: opened my ears and changed my life.

3) What is your favorite music for a lift on a down day? Not that it's a lift, but the blues is what I like to listen to on a down day. Or Rammstein.

4) Who is your favorite performer of all time? THAT is an impossible question. I'll cop out and say watching Sibling perform karaoke is my favorite. Because it's totally true - he rocks it!

5) What is your favorite style of music for worship? I love - and miss - singing old hymns. I grew up with them, and we just don't sing them much anymore.

Friday Five: Life is a Verb

(FYI - if you ever feel like playing along with the Friday Fiver, I generally get the topics from RevGals.)

The author of Life is a Verb, Patti Digh, worked her book around these topics concerning life as a verb:

Say yes.
Be generous.
Speak up.
Love more.
Trust yourself.
Slow down.

1. What awakens you to the present moment? Sensory experiences: music, taste, sunshine, wind, touch, scents.

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now? Alcatraz, The Bay Bridge, a Port Authority Flag blowing in the wind, B - our local panhandler, and lots of traffic.

3. Which verbs describe your experience of God? Brick-batting (sometimes); whisper; gnaw; soothe

4. From the book on p. 197: Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go? Let's see...that would put me in *cringe* about 8th grade. Good times, right there. I was sweet, shy, bespectacled, poofy-haired, slightly awkward, trombone-playing, goody-two-shoes, braces-wearing, silly, uncomfortable-in-my-own skin kinda girl. As far as where that kid went? Elements of her still exist inside of me, but I'm definitely more comfortable overall with who am I than I was at that age. Thank goodness.

5. From the book on p. 88: If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be? I have two types of work, I guess.
Question: Dayjob?
Answer: Pays the bills, provides health insurance, funds my travel habit, and gives me freedom to figure out who the heck I am and WTH I'm doing.
Question: Professional musician?
Answer: Yes, people pay me to sing, act and do all sorts of crazy things onstage that I would most likely never do in real life. It's almost like getting paid to go to therapy sometimes in that it gives me freedom to explore who I am and figure out WTH I'm doing. See? That ties in nicely with job #1.

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149:"Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."

interesting times

There is a lot going on around the other side of the world.

Prayers going out to my Persian friends . . . 'tis a trying time (understatement).

malaise

I am grouchy this week. And no, I can't blame it on pms.

I think I know it's a combination of many things which can all be boiled down to one word: Change. And plenty of it this summer. I - though somewhat of a creature of habit - enjoy adventures and traveling and new experiences, but I don't necessarily like change in various forms. It's painful. It's complicated. Even if it *is* for the better.

I'm turning 30 in just under a month (7/11 for anyone keeping track). On many fronts, I am quite excited about entering this new decade. I'm more comfortable with myself than I was at 20, I am taking the time to get healthier for myself, and I enjoy having the freedom to do certain things because I am an adult and I can. It's nice. However, I think the thing that gives me pause is when I start to dwell too much on the "what-if's" in life. Those always seem to crop-up near landmark birthdays, don't they? I try not to let them get to me, but sometimes they creep in.

Other changes . . . my younger brother, with whom I've gladly shared a house for the past 3.5 years, is moving to the East Coast this summer. Words cannot begin to express the joy it has been to live with him and get to know him as a grown-up, instead of just the tow-headed little boy from childhood memories and photos. We are close, and I consider myself extremely blessed in that regard. An added bonus has been becoming great friends with his fiancee, who lived with us for 2 of those years, before moving out to the East Coast for school (hence the brother's move). It is a change for him, as he starts this chapter of living with his life-mate all on their own, and I am thrilled for him. But, admittedly, I - selfishly - am mourning the end of this particular time period we've shared.

And more change...maybe...on certain horizons about which I cannot blog. I don't know. There are just some situations in life I can't control, no matter how much I'd like to do so - and it's hard for me to let go and "let God" as it were, even though I know it's much better in the long run when I do. It's just living in a prolonged state of unknowningness is...difficult.

I know this is just a season for me - lots of events converging - and I'm floundering a little. And I have a ton of extra time on my hands right now to ponder and sit because I am not involved in any theatrical productions this summer. Which is another story...mostly good, though.

This too shall pass.

You don't look at day over 200

Happy 234th birthday to the good ole US Army. Thanks for keeping us safe, ladies & gents!

I want to be the "Yes" - not the "Yes, but . . ."

Friday Five - Grocery stores

1. Grocery shopping--love it or hate it? eh. It's okay.

2. Who is the primary food shopper in your household? Me. My brother does sometimes...but he doesn't cook.

3. Do you have a beloved store (like Trader Joe's) which is unique to your location or family? Trader Joe's! I also like Andronicos, but I don't get there very often.

4. How about a farmer's market, or CSA share, as we move into summer? Or do you grow your own fruits/veggies/herbs? I do enjoy farmers' markets, and I like walking down to the one near my office on Tuesday afternoons.

5. What's the favorite thing you buy at the grocery store? I probably by the most of soy milk and oatmeal (my breakfast staples). I don't know that that makes it my *favorite*, per se, but I do buy it frequently.