-"Yeah, me and my brother were both born with four nipples! Wanna see my extra two?"
-"Ooh, you have four nipples? I just have the one extra, see?"
-"My husband is the [great?] grandson of China's last warlord. He killed a lot of people [as a warlord]."
-"I have always wanted to smush a cream pie in someone's face."
-"We'll put her puke-bucket off stage right, just in case."
-"mmmm. braiiinnnnssss."
-"We made good decisions as to which people we put in the tight pants. I've had lots of thank you's from the audience."
-"Time to tie me up, old man."
**You just can't make this stuff up, people. Truth is better (and funnier, and stranger) than fiction . . .
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