Grace

There is just no accounting for how on earth I have made it thus far in my adult life, other than the fact that God has a sense of humor, and likes to humble me...?!

Let me tell you a story . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving down O'Farrell, not much traffic, window rolled down, Ozomatli blasting from the speakers, our Heroine finds a metered parking space! This is a Big Deal, as it is after 6pm on a Friday night, which all adds up to free parking. She effortlessly backs into the spot - on the left, no less - in one smooth arc. She leaves the car running so she can finish listening to track 9 as she reapplies her lipstick, tosses her hair, and thinks to herself - "damn, self, but ain't you havin' a goooood hair day.
She climbs out of her car, only momentarily getting the door stuck on the sidewalk - oops - in front of Naan 'n Curry, where three young, handsome gentlemen happen to be dining outside in the cool, Spring night. She throws her cd's in the trunk, locks her car and just as she gets ready to make her way the last couple blocks to her destination, she turns to double check that indeed, her meter does not need to be fed. Satisfied with the meter's hours, she steps away and just as she turns . . . TWACK!!! She walks SMACK into a metal pole - which she swears just came out of nowhere - making contact with the left side of her face. It was a 'no parking 2-6am sign, tilted towards her, instead of being perpendicular to the sidewalk. Right in front of the aforementioned table of men, enjoying their Indian food, she can't help herself - "S*&T!" she turns to them, ripping off her chic aviators, "Am I bleeding or anything??!" The men shake their heads solemnly, looks of disbelief slowing being replaced by the guilty looks of schoolboys trying to repress a laugh during church. "This is SO embarassing," she continues, "but, as long as I'm not bleeding, I guess I'll be okay."
She catches the eye of a Nick Lachey lookalike on the other side of the restaurant's window - he and his date are laughing their asses off. She waves at him, acknowledging the humor of the whole situation - but stops herself just short of taking a bow. "Well - you guys have a GREAT night," she says, turning on her heel (clad in very cute, high-heeled, gold wedge sandals), and heads off, again, towards her destination. She stops in at a corner market, quickly locating a bottle of advil and the coldest Diet Coke she can find in the back of the cold drink case. She pays, hastily rips into the ibuprophen, all the while using the soda as a make-shift ice pack. She leans against a parking meter, Coke against her cheek and eye, and watches the people walk by her. Thankfully, at that moment, the Critical Mass bikers start zooming by by the 100s, and she - as well as the other onlookers - have something else to distract them for a while. She can't help but smile to herself, even giggle a little bit, as one of her father's favorite sayings pops into her head. "Well, Grace, what've you done THIS time?" Grace, indeed . . .
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So, now I sit, ice pack to head, thinking that come tomorrow, I'll probably have a black eye. I only wish I had some sort of COOL reason for having one. However, after retelling my story to Sibling, (who started crying with laughter), I guess I don't need to come up with a better story; this one is funny enough.

Bottoms up

Color-coded vodka:
Polish (left) and Russian (right). Personally, I enjoyed my shot (and a half?) of Polish vodka. Yum. But I had to drive, so that was plenty for me.

what a whirlwind of two weeks

It's been a crazy two weeks - full of rehearsals culminating in 4 performances, the last of which (and the best) was this Sunday afternoon.

Followed by a crazy-ass cast party. Fun - and vodka - was had by all.

I'll try and get some pictures up.

das vdanya...

Week

This is a crazy week - it's tech week for Onegin, which means I drive to Fairfield and back every night after work (1 - 1.5 hours a leg). BUT, I have a fun carpool which helps. I'm just really tired.
I took a nap over lunch today. My boss is out of town, so I just spread out on her floor and crashed for 30 minutes. Strange, but somewhat restful.

I got to work this morning and realized I had forgotten to brush my teeth. It's just stuff like that happening...I know I'm really tired. Thankfully, one of my coworkers had some toothpaste, and I had an extra toothbrush in my drawer. Whew!

Anyways...I'm sure more and more funny things will happen as the week continues. Stay tuned for the overheard: backstage entries. I've some pretty good ones this round...

Faraway, So Close!

I spent the evening doing laundry. Not the most exciting Friday Night, but I've an insane 10 days coming up, and the laundry could wait no more.

Whilst laundering, I watched one of the better movies I've seen in a long time.

Based on the recommendation of a friend, I rented Wings of Desire and its sequel, Faraway, So Close!, by German director Wim Wenders. They tell the stories of angels walking amongst us everyday, and how two of them wish - and choose - to become human. (The American adaptation from a few years back, City of Angels, is but a pale reflection of the original films).

I watched Wings of Desire last week, and was blown away by its elegance, style and poignancy. Set in postwar Berlin in the autumn, half the film is black and white (the way the angels see the world) and the rest in color (how humans see the world). Berlin in and of itself becomes a character in its own right - a tragic, beautiful, and scarred character. I loved the film. Bruno Ganz (the main angel) has an amazing face capable of portraying the deepest emotion with just his eyes.

This evening, I decided to pop in Faraway, So Close. I think I enjoyed it even more than its predecessor. Again, set in Berlin - but this time just after the fall of the Wall. And, the film is not just strictly in German. It adds Italian, English, French and even Russian to the mix. This second film delves more deeply into the blindness and emptiness of humanity apropos the viewpoint and lack of understanding of heir angelic counterparts. There is also what I took to be a quasi-demonic character named Emit Flesti (read backward Time Itself), played brilliantly by Willem Defoe. And the importance - or lack thereof? - of time and how it's measured is one of the main themes of the film. The story starts off with a quote from the book of Matthew, which set the tone for the evening:

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will by full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! Matthew 6:22-23

Followed by:

We (the angels) are not the message. We are the messengers and the message is love".

Thoughtful, provocative, bittersweet - and beautiful.

Spoctopus

Team Spoctopus coming in Third Place AND winning Best Small Team. Rock and Roll!!

Here is our glorious victory photo. Hopefully to be repeated this week!?

Google me this . . .

I can't figure out for the life of me why my new website does not pop up as a result when I do a search under my name.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm . . .

Stolen from AZ - hours of fun!!

Are you freaking kidding me?

. . . how the heck am I supposed to get any work done today, when I just found out that a friend of mine from high school is on American Idol...???!?!??! He's in the top 24!

Click here for his audition and acceptance to Hollywood.

Crap. I'm going to have to start watching American Idol on a regular basis. Or, at least start taping it . . .

that's amore

So I went to the grocery store directly after work today to do some shopping, and ran into a VERY busy place, indeed.

It was almost as busy as it is right before the Superbowl! Only, instead of guys walking out with cases of beer and chips, they were crouched over the card displays, roses and chocolates clutched in their arms; bottles of wine thrown in a basket with lobster and spices; balloons and teddy bears held unassumingly waiting in line.

I feel sorry for the poor guys that get off of work late - by the time they get to the store, there will be nothing left!

The whole sight made me chuckle :)

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

So, I joined a great new small group through my church two weeks ago . . . and I loved it. Come to find out tonight that the leaders, K&C, are actually going to be moving, and no longer involved as of about April 1.
They are taking a year to travel (C has just retired) and figure out their next steps in life. I am super excited for them, albeit selfishly bummed, because I *reallly* was looking forward to getting to know them better.

oh well.

I hope the group keeps going, and I look forward to staying with it...

3-2-1 chilllll

I've been trying to "chill out" this year. Whatever that entails - I
guess, just making some time for myself and not running around like a
mad woman (or, at least after I run around like a mad woman, make sure
I have some chill time). It's hard to say NO...there are too many
things I want to do!

Anyways, I went to salsa class tonight for
the first time in about 3 or 4 months. It was *so* good to see Jaime!
He really is a dear!

I've been listening to a lot of Cesaria Evora lately. She has an amazing voice...kind of the aural equivalent of a molten, bittersweet, dark chocolate souffle . . . she sings traditional Fado (very chill) songs, as well as choro and samba. Anyways, I've just been digging her music over the last week. I might do a French-Portuguese language trade off with a couple people who want to learn French (and want to teach me Portuguese). I'm playing around with the idea. I would LOVE to learn some Portuguese, it's just a matter of scheduling at this point.

peace to the out...I'll leave you with some lyrics....

Beijo Roubado
(Words: Adelino Moreira
Interpreted by Cesaria Evora)

Dizem que beijo roubado
Embora seja de amor

É crime na terra,
No céu é pecado
Faz o homem
Criminoso e pecador

Para mim está tudo errado,
Beijo roubado tem mais calor

Quantos beijos
Eu ganhei do meu amor
Eu não contei,
nem ele contou

Mas nem um beijo foi mais beijo
Que o primeiro beijo
Que eu fingi negar
E ele roubou

(Lyrics gratefully found on this site)

Fergalicious . . .

If I hear Fergie singing anymore about her london bridge or any other geographic/historical landmark, I just might lose control ('just lose control'). I've had "bring sexy back" stuck in my head all day - pretty much in anticipation of going out the hip hop club I just got back from. And, I was not disappointed - mr. tiberlake did, indeed, bring sexy back, mulitiple times, throughout the course of the evening.

so, I went to this place called Suite one8one in pretty much in the tenderloin. I had reconnected with an old friend (V), and he invited me to come to one of his coworker's birthday parties there.

It's funny, because neither V nor I usually frequent these types of places. In fact, standing in line, we were both lamenting the fact that we *could* have been at the Tito Nieve, Grupo Niche, Monchy & Alexandra concert down at the Bill Graham Civic. At 33, and myself and the ripe old age of 27, V and I were definitely older than the many 21, 22 year olds living it up. We were pretty much cracking up a good chunk of the time we were there (note: his coworker was turning 23!).

I had managed to sign up for the guestlist online ahead of time (score!) so I didn't have a cover (read: cheap date!)-which was $20! yikes. Inside was a pretty cool decor which was tres ghetto fabulous. The dance floor was packed (we got a solid chuck of dance time in) but there were additional back rooms (still LOUD) with banks of couches. Sitting on the couches made for the best viewings of the "kids". I must admit though, that some of the music was realllly good. Old school hip hop and rock mashed up. Fun stuff. Or maybe I'm just old school...?

I was amused a lot of the time, but saddened by how many folks I saw literally falling down drunk. Even before midnight! It was crazy! I managed one (1!) beer and some water. Had I fallen, it would have been of my own clutzy accord. Thankfully, I did not. hahaha.

All in all...I'm glad I went! I mean, there is NO WAY I would have gone other than to meet V there. Not my (or his) scene. But it was nice to reconnect, dance a little, cut loose and just have some fun. Added bonus: I shall probably sleep very well tonight.

yay.

Maybe next time I can hit up the salsa concert...

here's your sign

Sleep is a good thing. It's easy to notice when you've not gotten enough. I am feeling the effects to today of a lack of sleep. Here are a couple of my bloopers from today:

-I left the fax machine unplugged from yesterday (long story), thus making my boss crazy trying to send a fax to three different numbers;

-I replyed to the wrong coworker in an email . . . which could have been very bad, but thankfully I had restricted my comments to "HAHAH I forgot about the end…with colin powell and oj…etc…", thus prompting the aforementioned boss to ask me, "I didn't get the joke, what's so funny?"

The problem is, I cannot go to sleep. Last night was the worst this week. I tried to go to bed early (meaning 11pm), and I had gone to the gym, taken a bath with relaxing bath salts AND had my lavendar tea. As soon as I lay down, I started feeling all panicky again. ARGH.

The good news is, the shrink says I am okay...really, he's like "I don't need to see you again, unless things get to the point where you are incapacitated".

I'm starting to wonder. I *do* have some Ativan I can - and I guess, should - take when I get another attack. I have just been hesitant to do so.

Seriously, part the second

Seriously:
We now have rules for our making of popcorn. The folks upstairs seem to not like the smell, so they bought us a new microwave, which we shall keep in our spare office and use under the following conditions ONLY:

1) Under no circumstances may anyone use the microwave in the spare office to cook or heat other food;

2) The microwave may be used no more than once a day for popcorn;

3) The window in the spare office must be left open to air the room in order to lessen the absorption of popcorn odor in the fabric walls;

4) The door to the spare office must be closed when making popcorn.

seriously?

Whomever decided that "Legally Blond" was a good idea for a Musical needs to have all of their musical priviledges taken away.

Just hearing the commercials on the radio sets my teeth on edge.

Am I being unfair? Ummmmmmm.....let me think about that.

---thinking---

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and say...no. This prejudice is totally warranted.
For the love of eardrums all over the world . . . STOP with the musicals being styled after movies, already!!!

The Lion King is clearly an exception, as it was awesome. And had a really good soundtrack. Which then translated to a good stage soundtrack.

This works vice versa too...only *rarely* does the stage show actually translate well to the screen.
Good movie: Chicago
Bad movie: Phantom of the Opera
Good movie: Cabaret (with Liza, of course)
Bad movie: Les Miserables

I could go on, but I'm done ranting for now.

braindump

tomorrow is my doctor's appointment at the psychiatrist. i had a really fun time playing trivia tonight. and racing crossword puzzles at lunch today. i had a great experience at a new clg, to which i look forward to returning. i like old people. i need to remember to measure my curtin rods, and how high they are off the floor. but, in order to do that, i have to go through some crap stacks. which, i don't really want to do. i'm looking forward to saturday, but am also a little trepidatious. there are some happy hippies on vh1 right now doing yogi and qi gong. whoa. good tea. i should get some bath crystals. joe cocker is totally playing air guitar right now, and looks as though he's smoked one too many. i need to go to bed now. i hope i can fall asleep. hoping this braindump helps me fall asleep, as i shall have gotten everything out of my system.

Es viernes, ya-ba-da-ba-dooooo!**

**actually heard on 98.9 tonight! It made me chuckle!

I just got back from the YMCA's Cuban Salsa class. I've never done the cuban salsa before (rueda) in which everyone dances in a circle, passing the women back and forth. It was a lot of fun! I haven't been salsa dancing in a long time...! I had almost forgotten how much I enjoy it! Yay!

LIVE! from New York it's . . .

Saturday Night American Idol!

DAY 1:

Ian Benardo
"My therapists say I'm a superstar". "I'm wearing chinchilla to show people how rich I can be."
Needless to say, he's not going to Hollywood...

Sara (forgot her last name)
Lied to her parents about trying out for American Idol, but she's going to Hollywood!

Fanta Tsakalakos
She was on Greek American Idol . . .but will not be continuing onto the stateside version...

Ashanti Johnson
She's been to Hollywood twice before . . . but I can't figue out why. She's not going back. And wow, she has a whole monologue diatribe going off on the judges. Very soap opera. She should be on tv. But her voice sucks is better for musical theater.

Amanda Coluccio & Antonella Barba
BFF's and Jersey girls! Amanda's the 'trained' one - and blond. Meh...she gets a go on to Hollywood. Why not.
Antonella's the untrained one - and brunette. Man, I like her voice better - and she has more soul than her bland blond friend. The judges agree! She goes, too!

uh oh...I hear a harmonica! It must be Clifton Little!
He's very funny (dry humor), and there's stomping involved. AND clapping. And lots of yelling...why the heck is he singing ZZ Top? I'm so confused...and more harmonica. Sorry Cliff....no go.

WOW someone in a spacesuit! hahahah. They got 3 seconds on tv!

Kia Thornton sings some ARETHA, yeah!
Lots of soul, looks good and good pipes! Way to go. Just don't oversing.

Where are the men from NYC???

DAY 2:
Starts without Simon? what? he's hungover??

oooh the oh-so-easy on the eyes Jenry Bejarano. And not bad to listen to, either...a little rough around the edges, but a lot of potential (he's only freaking 16!!!) Jailbait! ack! He is going to Hollywood!

Now for someone completely different, Nakia Claiborne. She has TONS of energy! But her voice needs work - it showed on her slow song. She's not going to H'wood & there are lots of tears :(
"Sometimes you get tired of hearing 'no'"

Sarah Goldberg
She reminds me off my wacky theater friends. But not my musical theater friends. She can't sing. And she's ADMITTING that she's at American Idol because her friends make fun of her tone-deafness. Even though she can't sing, she can be the next American Idol, because she can be TAUGHT to sing! What? This is a singing competition, girl!

(HEY here comes Mr. Cowell...finally!)

Holy cow...there's a 47 year old trying out?? What?eh?

Now back to our real auditionees...
Jory Steinberg
Not bad, looks good...but has this weird habit when she breaths of sounding like Michael Jackson (cha!) *insert moonwalk here* She's on her way to LA!

And representing Queens, NYC . . . we have our own rocky here...will she make it?
Porcelana Patino sings some Mary J. Blige for us. Paula thinks she's pretty awesome. She's unique! And she's going through. The training paid off!

Christopher Henry says he's been told he looks like Simon Cowell and George Michael. HAHAHA. Does this give him an edge? He's singing a Kelly Clarkson song. In a VERY high key. Damn. I think he lost that edge.
(Paula just called Simon an asshole bad word!)

Here comes a girl who "goes to school for opera. and if they find out I might get kicked out and lose my scholarship." Her name is Rachel Z..? forgot the last name. But they've asked her for a second song! And now, some opera (which she doesn't sing very well...IMHO). Wow she gets a semi-enthusiastic 'go' to Hollywood.

Christopher Richardson DANG good singer. And has a cool confidence, but yet, humility. Or, maybe it's just his youth...whatever it is, he gets MY vote.

Nicholas Pedro bowed out of American Idol during the competition last year. So, he's back to audition again! Will they give him a second chance? He's singing some ol' blue eyes! And they still love him for a second chance...so don't blow it this time, Nicholas!

I can't even comment on Isadora. Ack.

whew. I'm done blogged out. Yo.

family ties

So, I was talking to my mom earlier today, and she informed me that my cousin, L, on my dad's side also has panic/anxiety attacks. As does her father (my dad's older brother). As did my grandmother (my dad's mom). Hmmmmm. And, interestingly enough, OCD (as exhibited by my father) is characterized as a type of anxiety disorder.

It's all very interesting, in someways. That is, when I'm not in the midst of an actual panic attack. Because really, that sucks.

I spent a good deal of time on Friday trying to find a psychiatrist in my health insurance network, and left a couple of messages. So, here's hoping I'll hear back from one this week, and get something going. I'm also waiting on the results of my lab tests, to determine if there are physical factors (anemia, thyroid, etc) contributing to the attacks. So, we'll see.

In other news, I've had the strangest cold, and am pretty sure I caught it from Will's girlfriend, who had it and was at the house last week. Strange in that it seems to be moving on fairly quickly - I think. I was feeling so-so on Friday night, and by Saturday night, I was not so good. Sunday and today I've spent resting and drinking tons of tea. Thank goodness I didn't have rehearsal this weekend, and an extra day off! I should be all better by Saturday!